seasonsrpg | Attack on Holidays

Entry tags:

Attack on Holidays

WHO: the Attack on Titan cast and their +1s
WHAT: holiday shenanigans
WHEN: around the Solstice
WHERE: an inn in Stormreach
WARNINGS: tba; please check subject lines

Sometime after a less than stellar conference call, Reiner sends an invitation to everyone from his world. "You're Invited to a Holiday Party," the store-bought invitation reads in swirling seasonally decorated letters. How very fancy!

The invitation specifies three things. Number one: it is a celebration of the holidays. Number two: it is a celebration of a year of a successful non-aggression pact. Number three: everyone is invited to bring a "plus one."

Surely, nothing will go wrong with this plan. Surely!

The party itself takes place at an inn in Stormreach, part of which has been reserved by Reiner. The inn is made of stone and wood, its aesthetic closely resembling buildings in Paradis. There are several spacious rooms available: places for eating, places for mingling, cozy corners for more private conversations, and access to the inn's bar.

In one of those cozy spaces, one might find a lit candle known as a Candle of True Feelings. In its presence, people understand their feelings better and feel inspired to talk about them. How very curious!
Of note: magic supersedes technology in Stormreach. One is far more likely to run across potions and crystals than gaming systems… But that hasn't stopped Reiner from setting up a gaming system in a corner, anyway.
If one steps outside for a breath of (cold) fresh air, they'll find themselves close to the clock tower. Local legend claims that those who kiss on top of it are destined to never breakup. However, that legend has not been tested … yet.
During the party, a table is filled with various gifts for the "+1s," created by those from Paradis and Marley. The gifts include knitted clothing (scarves, mittens, socks), chocolates, sweet baked goods, and fidget toys made of wood or stone. Feel free to partake, +1s!

Naturally, there is a wide assortment of food—some of which is best described as "ungodly spicy"—with a particular focus on potato-based foods. Also, peaches and pineapples, for Reasons™.

Have fun, and try not to break anything!

( ooc: this is a mingle! top-level, tag around, etc. put any warnings in subject lines, and if a thread heads toward smut, please take it to an inbox or something. ♥ )

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"I'm not saying it was a good joke," Reiner says. "But if joking about it makes you feel better, then… I don't know. Maybe I need to figure out how to let you?"

It's a question, not a statement, revealing Reiner's uncertainty even before he continues.

"Look, I was being honest. I don't know what to do with all this. I just keep moving forward because that's all I can do. When you told me about Bertholdt, I—"

He pauses, drawing in a shaky breath. Then he speaks again, this time so quietly that Jean may have to strain just to hear.

"I was so close to ripping up this pact. So close. If Bertholdt hadn't calmed me down, I… I don't know what I would've done. I'll never forgive any of you for it. But…"

Another breath, as shaky as the last.

"… But we move forward. That's it."

"I guess it's a coping mechanism", Jean admits quietly with a shrug before the mood changes rather drastically.

Keep moving forward was something very Reiner-like. He had always been like that. Just pressing on, no matter what. Even - or especially - when things got desperate. Many others stopped and broke down, but not him. His armor may have gotten cracks, but he still carried on.

That's probably what he would do even after Shiganshina, depending on what happens with Marley. Just moving forward despite his world and soul breaking apart.

Jean hears him. Reiner's voice may be quiet, but to Jean the words are loud and clear once they reach him. A shiver goes down his spine. Reiner had been that close to just saying fuck it and ending the pact. Because of- No. Not just because of what he said, but for all that happened. Jean would have still probably carried the blame. Become the person who single-handedly destroyed any chances of peace they could have.

And he would have lost a friend.

He presses himself into the corner of the couch. As if to appear smaller than he is. So he doesn't take Reiner's space. At least he wasn't running away, even if the temptation was there.

"... I would never ask you to forgive me. It's not like I can forgive you for Marco, either. But this is exactly what I meant. I just keep hurting you one way or another."

Even though Reiner is absorbed in his own confession, feeling echoes of pain and anger brought to the surface, he doesn't miss how Jean presses into the corner of the couch. For a moment, Reiner curses himself for scaring Jean—but when he looks over, it's not fear on Jean's face.

"It's not you hurting me, Jean," Reiner says, shaking his head. "I hurt you more than you could ever hurt me. Look at what I did to you. All of you. I still don't understand how you can stand to be near me.

"If you want to blame anyone for me getting hurt, blame Armin. He's the one who told me what happened to Bertholdt out of nowhere."

His lips twitch in something that might be a mirthless smile or might be a grimace. "Do you know what I thought that day? I thought he was coming over to tell me about him and Eren. I was ready to talk about that, not…"

Reiner trails off. His shoulders curl in, his gaze drifting to the party. In a far-off corner, he spots his best friend doing a passing imitation of a wallflower. His beautiful partner.

"… I was supposed to protect him," Reiner says, half a whisper. "I was supposed to bring him home. I can handle the rest. Everything I did, I'll own it. All of it. But when it comes to him, I… I can't."

Armin was pretty tactless in his approach. It was a side of him Jean couldn't always come to terms with. He couldn't get behind the mindset of 'To defeat monsters you have to become a monster'.

If only he could just shrug off the guilt he felt and blame someone who wasn't even there. Maybe he wouldn't do it even if he could. He was still partially to blame, no matter what Reiner said about it.

Hearing Reiner talk about Bertholdt hurt. He can't claim to understand how Reiner felt, but he feels for him. The fear of failing to protect someone was always present. Somewhere in the back of his mind. Even now he was afraid of people disappearing before he could keep them around. Before he could protect them from being sent back.

Slowly and carefully Jean places a hand on Reiner's shoulder, ready to draw it away if he needs to. "... you can become his new home. Here. He's been given a second chance. And we will do everything we can to ensure he stays here."

Far from drawing away, Reiner leans into Jean's touch, not even bothering to be subtle about it. He's always been physically affectionate with his loved ones. And right now, he craves that contact.

You can become his new home. Here.

Reiner sucks in a breath, looking at Jean with wide, unguarded eyes. Surprise, hope, longing, and gratitude shimmer there, quickly joined by not-yet-shed tears.

"Jean…"

One blink is all it takes for a tear to fall. Reiner swipes it away with his thumb, but he knows other will soon join it.

"… I'm a pretty beat-up home," he says. "Cracked foundation and everything. Do you think I'd be enough?"

It's a question Reiner never, ever would have voiced without external influence. But here it is, spoken within the comfort of a metaphor.

There are things that made Jean cry easier than others. Mostly sappy things that Mikasa might say or various Marco related things, but also if someone else was crying in his presence. He's more of a crier than he likes to admit. But right now he doesn't mind the tears, at least.

"Of course you're enough, idiot. You'll always be enough."

Since Reiner hadn't done it yet, Jean makes the first move for the hug, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in.

Bertholdt had seen that the two of them were talking, of course. It's not his business what they were talking about, but when Jean seems to draw away, he starts drifting closer, concerned.

Those concerns seemed justified with the way Reiner curls in, and the way his gaze goes distant. Before he can worry if he should intervene directly, however, Jean reaches out to Reiner, comforts him.

Despite himself and his feelings, Bertholdt feels a relieved smile cross his face.

... And then they both start hugging and crying on each other, and Bertholdt hurries to finally cross the space between himself and the two of them.

"Reiner, Jean? Are you two all right?"

His even tone breaks through the low level din of the party as he approaches the couch from the front, his expression pinched in worry. He kneels in front of them, quick to place a hand on the top of Reiner's back - right where his neck joins, rubbing it soothingly. But, after a moment, his hand comes to rest on Jean's upper back as well, attempting to comfort him too.

You'll always be enough, Jean says, and Reiner's tears begin to flow in earnest.

Naïvely, Reiner doesn't think they're making a scene. Sure, their conversation has grown intense, and yes, Jean has wrapped him in a hug, and okay, they're both crying on each other. But this isn't a scene. This is just … honesty.

It feels good. It feels like a weight has been lifted, something wrong finally set to rights. Reiner returns Jean's hug, burying his face in his friend's shoulder.

Then he hears familiar footsteps approaching. Looking up, Reiner spots Bertholdt's worried face just before his partner's hand finds him. A too-warm palm rests at the base of his nape, long fingers rubbing soothingly. Comforting and protecting him, as if Bertholdt is the one with the Armor.

In some ways, Reiner supposes that Bertholdt is. Reiner may be better at taking a beating, but it's Bertholdt who doesn't break. Bertholdt who stands as a lighthouse at the heart of a storm, guiding Reiner home.

Reiner sees Bertholdt's other hand find Jean, comforting him, too. And all at once, Reiner reaches out, grabbing Bertholdt's shoulder to tug him closer. Pulling him into what is now a three-person hug.

"We're good," he murmurs against Bertholdt's shoulder. (Or is it his neck? It's hard to tell, close as they all are.) Then he adds, "We're better now."

There's no doubt in his mind that it's true, for both himself and Jean.

While Jean is embarrassed, it's not the kind of embarrassment that makes him want to hide his face or leave. He actually quite enjoys the closeness, the hug. Even when Bertholdt comes to check on them he finds that he's not that bothered. It's likely thanks to the candle letting him be more true to his feelings.

Like Reiner, Jean moves one of his hands to Bertholdt's shoulder, at first just patting him in reassurance, but then just leaving it there for the moment.

"Yeah. You've got nothing to worry about."

Jean definitely feels more light now. His mixed up feelings towards Reiner were sorted out. Sure, he still felt guilty about some things, but at least they weren't weighing him down anymore.

He doesn't expect to be pulled in, but he doesn't fight Reiner's grip, leaning into him. Jean probably gets a first class view of the way Bertholdt seems a little startled, and then immediately relaxes, even with Reiner's face mashed into his neck and shoulder. His expression softens, clearly loving, and he squeezes the back of Reiner's neck, once, in reassurance.

"I'm glad," He tells them both, and means it, looking over at Jean with that same soft smile. He knows there are things to work out but - to move forward, to forgive what you can, is a worthwhile reason. He pats Jean's back reassuringly. It feels easier to kneel here, wrapped up in both of them.

Reiner's tears are still flowing, probably leaving a damp spot on Bertholdt's shirt. But they are undoubtedly good tears, now, not ones of pain or sadness.

For Reiner, the only thing that could possibly make this moment better is if more of their friends joined the hug pile. However, he's not about to break free in order to drag more people in. And besides, this feels as it's supposed to feel.

He thinks of Bertholdt and Jean's strained interaction when Jean delivered Bertholdt's sword. Did they talk since then? They must have, to hug each other with no hesitation. It brings a smile to Reiner's face, and he exhales a small chuckle, a mix of relief and happiness.

This was definitely not a scenario Jean could have imagined when they were last gathered together, during the weapon delivery. Even after his and Bertholdt's coffee chat it hadn't quite crossed his mind they could be this close, but it was clear why they could be comfortable here and now.

Reiner. It was because Reiner was there. Jean and Bertholdt would always have a mutual understanding that Reiner should be happy. It was worth being a little embarrassed for.

Jean doesn't miss the look Bertholdt gives Reiner, but he will keep that to himself. It was something that they needed to work out themselves and Jean had a feeling this would nudge them towards the right direction. At least now he could be confident to say that the feelings were definitely mutual. They just needed to realize that.

The chuckle interrupts Jean's train of thought and he looks at Reiner, amused. "It feels better to see you smile."

Him? He has slightly red eyes and cheeks. He needs to rinse his face with cold water so badly.

"It feels good to see you both smile," Bertholdt agrees with a fond expression. He meant what he said to Jean that day. He never wanted to hurt them - any of them. If there was a way they could have taken Eren without any death, they would have done it in a heartbeat.

It was never that simple, though.

So it does feel good, to see them both shedding tears of happiness openly, and not because they have to fight each other.

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Attack on Holidays

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