seasonsrpg | [Closed Log] Fireflies are stars that couldn't journey to the skies

There's a definite rush of relief washing through Jean's emotions. The feeling of vindication. It's mixed in with the sadness of the whole conversation they've been having, but it's there.

Jean had been right all along. About what Marco would do. He hadn't just imagined it to make himself feel better.

"That's what I've been doing. Moving past the hate and anger. I will never forgive Reiner... but I can still be his friend", Jean admits while smiling, sadly. "Because I thought about... What you would do. That you'd at least try to let it go and start again."

Jean's been carrying Marco with him even in these new worlds.

Marco's surprised, a little bit, and then laughs softly.

"You knew what I would do even before I did it," he accuses jokingly, raising a hand to rub at his eyes. Okay, he teared up, but he didn't start crying - that's a plus in his book.

"... I did hit him. Twice. The second time with a rock. But we still talked and hopefully things will be better. That's why I came out here tonight."

He sighs. "How can we hope to make things better if we don't try to be better, after all?"

Edited 2023-11-21 01:30 (UTC)

Jean grins a little at the joke accusation. But then he's more serious again, listening to what Marco has to say. It's not surprising to hear about the hits (except the rock part). Marco had been furious when Jean told Reiner was there.

"Let me guess... Reiner made absolutely no move to defend himself?"

He hadn't when Jean hit him because he was shocked about Marco. So seeing the actual Marco probably made him freeze up even more.

"But you're right. Someone has to take the first step. Might as well be us."

"He didn't," Marco confirms sadly. He also hadn't noticed Reiner muttering let him at the time; it would have broken his heart and been reported to Jean if he had realized it.

He looks up at the fireflies in the sky again, giving a deep sigh.

"My room mate - Galliard. He's from Marley too," he tells Jean. "And I think the reason it worked out so well is because he was there. He told Reiner the blame lay at the people sending them out. Reiner seemed to take it to heart."

Marco clears his throat a little. "So, if you run into him, be nice? He can be a little sulky sometimes, but he's got a good heart."

Edited (i don't know if marco knows he's a titan shifter yet orz) 2023-11-24 06:54 (UTC)

Marco's words leave Jean silent for a while. He remembers the end of his and Reiner's first conversation.

Jean. Blame me. Not Annie, not anyone else. It was my fault. Just blame me.

It should have always been 'Marley' that's to blame. Not that he would have thought about that back then. He had been too angry and didn't know anything about the outside world. Well, he didn't know about it much even now. Just that Marley existed and Reiner's from there.

"That's good. It made me annoyed he tried to take all the blame. Of course, I blamed it on all of them, but... now I know better, at least."

At least he learned.

"But sure. I don't plan on making enemies with anyone just because they're from a different place and supposedly enemies."

"He tries to do that. He always has, you remember." Marco thinks back to broken straps on his ODM gear and It's my fault, Commander, I helped him put it on. Getting between Eren and Jean's fights to try and keep them calm.

"He'll have to live with the guilt of what he's done for the rest of his life. Anytime I think about getting angry, I try to imagine living with that, and it doesn't last long." He shakes his head, a little, trying to get rid of the sad expression after he contemplates it.

Then he beams. "Good! I think you two will get along."

Live with the guilt. Yeah, Jean can relate to that. Not on the same level as Reiner, for sure, but vaguely.

"That reminds me that Reiner stopped me from making a mistake I'd probably have never properly recovered from, earlier this month."

He hasn't really told anyone but Mikasa about it. So only a few people knew (her and those involved). It still bothers him quite a bit. "I tried to kill two people that are very important to me, while I was possessed by something."

Marco tilts his head at the first statement, confusion crossing over his face. Then Jean mentions trying to kill someone and he looks startled.

"What - possessed? What happened?!" He asks, concern etched across his face.

"We were on a quest in the Summer Segment, Reiner and me. It was about finding some useful artifacts. Well, turns out those artifacts are possessed by ghosts that want to fulfill a wish they couldn't do when they were alive", Jean explains, drawing lines idly into the sand while he does.

"... the one possessing me wanted to avenge his death. But he knew that the person who killed him was dead, too. So he... looked through my memories and found out who I was with when I died. So he decided they would do."

Just his luck to be stuck with a lunatic ghost. A very annoying lunatic ghost at that.

"Even if it wasn't their fault."

Well, that's a frightening concept. He knows the segments are dangerous, but it's useful information to have if he ever goes out with someone on a quest. Marco shifts a bit closer, concern still clear on his face. He reaches out and rests a hand on Jean's shoulder.

"So the ghost was trying to make it back to them, and Reiner stopped you...?"

Jean shakes his head.

"I... he? ... a message was sent to the them, asking to meet at the Sunwaning bridge. Reiner had no clue what was going to happen, but naturally he followed since I was acting weird."

The message had been simple. Just asking for Mukuro and Hijikata to meet him there and that it was important. And they listened and came to meet their younger brother.

"So we met. I took my sword and launches myself at them without a warning. Reiner was able to hold me back. Somehow they got the artifact away from me and everything returned to normal."

He can see that it had been terrifying for Jean. And, he's sure, terrifying for those siblings of his as well. If Jean had sent a message like that to Marco? He wouldn't have questioned it, and wouldn't have suspected Jean at all.

He squeezes Jean's shoulder.

"I'm glad everyone was physically okay," he offers softly. "How are you doing?"

Jean raises his hand to put on top of Marco's. Mostly for his own comfort, but also as a gesture that he appreciates it.

"I mean, I know it's not my fault it happened. I do wonder if I need to work on my mental strength or something, but even then it could have happened, you know?"

It's not an actual answer to exactly how he's doing, but probably tells a lot about how much he's been thinking about it.

"I'm glad you realize that, at least. It's easy to blame yourself when things go wrong. Maybe you should start wearing gloves on expeditions? Just so you don't touch anything bad."

He's not sure that would have prevented it, but at least it would be a layer between it on another mission.

He brings up another subject idly. "I've been thinking about picking up one of those quests, actually, so it's good to know what kind of dangers are out there."

"Probably," Jean says with a slight shrug. He's not sure if that had helped, but at least it would be better than nothing. Besides, gloves might protect from other things.

Jean lets his hand back down, watching Marco as he says that, before looking back at the fireflies.

"I really don't need to say this, but make sure you never go alone. You can ask me to come with you anytime, but I'm sure the others would go, too."

Marco's smile widens. "I know. I'll be very careful. I'm going to try to pick something that seems easy and I definitely won't go alone, no matter how easy it seems."

Marco hesitates, and then says, "And if you ever want help too, you can ask me, okay? I know everyone is probably worried about me, but I was in the top ten for a reason."

And ultimately it wasn't a Titan that had done him in.

"I know. With a little more work on your gear, you might have beat me to my spot", Jean laughs, elbowing Marco's side gently.

Then he just beams at him. "I'd trust you to have my back any time."

"Only if you stopped working on your gear at the same time!" Marco laughs back, returning that elbow by reaching up and ruffling Jean's hair. Why's he so tall now! Spoilsport.

His heart is warmed by that faith, and Marco's smile literally can't get any wider. "You too, you know."

After a moment, he hums, and reaches up to cup out his hands. Some of the fireflies land in his open palms, and he gently deposits them into the jar.

"I think we should release the fireflies back here in a little bit... it seems wrong to keep them in here forever."

Edited 2023-11-28 11:08 (UTC)

Jean feels more lighthearted, now. Happy to have his friend back. He pushes away the intrusive thoughts of 'but I died, am I really good enough to watch his back' for now. That wasn't a train of thought he wanted to hop on board to (he would later, when the train had gained more speed and the thoughts were even more potent).

He tilts his head. "The jars are supposed to be good environments for them to live in. Probably really spacious, even if it doesn't look like it."

"Well, yeah, but..." Marco frowns, closing the lid on the jar and lifting it up.

"It's still a jar, something that's trapping them. We know the walls protect us, but we still wanted to see what was beyond it, right?"

He glances to Jean.

"It just seems a little mean."

Jean huffs, shaking his head.

"That's a little unfair, using our experience to compare them to the fireflies", he says, amused. But he gets it.

"Yeah, we can come release them later."

Marco beams at Jean brightly, ignoring the unfair comment. He's allowed to be underhanded, sometimes.

"Good! And if any of them want to stay behind, I won't fuss, how about that," he promises Jean with a grin. For now, though, he's more than content to observe and gently catch fireflies to fill his own jar.

Jean agrees with that, continuing to watch the fireflies, occasionally looking at Marco. It was nice to see him enjoy something like this, without the need to fight. Just hanging out with a friend, catching fireflies.

He's just glad his best friend could experience the same peace he has had in these worlds. All of them could.

[Closed Log] Fireflies are stars that couldn't journey to the skies

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wrappity?

wrappity wrap!