seasonsrpg | Event #3: Can't Defeat the Temple

Event #3: Can't Defeat the Temple

Can't Defeat the Temple
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Game Start

Part 1

A new message appears on everyone's smartphones. There's been a change in the Temple of Life: the door has finally opened! No one knows how or why, but the sensors left by quest goers alerted them to it suddenly being open. Preparations are made in each guild to finally explore what's inside it.

Those interested in helping are greeted by researchers in the guilds that will provide everyone with one single use item: Escape Rope: an item they found out about while investigating the temple. Should the Temple really prove to be a place "no one can return from" they should be able to use this rope to escape. It should teleport the person using it (just one) outside of the place they're in (can only be used indoors). Of course the rope can be saved for later use if it becomes unnecessary. Everyone also gets basic climbing and survival items, just in case. They have no idea what to expect inside, but better safe than sorry, right?

The new Teleport Crystal system will get you to the Temple of Life in a minute, but no one is forbidden to use a longer route if they want to travel rather than take the easy route. Once they get to the Temple (the teleport stones take them to the surroundings of the fountain in the courtyard) they will notice a lot of natives collecting various tropical fruits as the area is safe and the fruit are nice and nutritious. Anyone eating a fruit will notice a boost in stamina, too.

All that's left now is to climb the stairs and enter the Temple of Life.

Part 2

Inside the Temple of Life is a "lobby". It's actually just an empty room made with the same stone as the temple, but it has four different doors, each with a different symbol: lightning strike, snowflake, fire and a hurricane of sand.

Characters inside will notice that the door they walked in from is now gone (of course) and they may feel different as the temple has stripped them off of all their powers, including Seasonal ones. Instead they may feel like they're lighter (their jumping ability has increased to triple their normal one) and that they have three holographic hearts on top of their heads.

There's a holographic display near the doors and a shelf for laser guns. The display says the following:

This is the Gigaman simulator. Welcome, players. Each of you have been given three extra lives. Once all of your total of four lives have been used inside the levels you will get a Game Over. For native participants this unfortunately means you Die.

However, otherworlders! You are in luck. If you die four times inside the simulator you will be thrown out of the simulator, into the courtyard of the temple and you can try again! Dying is painless. Getting hit, unfortunately, is not. You have ten regular hits before you lose a life. Your lives are indicated by the hearts on top of your heads.

Things that will instantly kill you include: lava, falling into an endless pit and spikes.

Please take a laser gun and enter the level. You may bring any other items as well, but your powers will be gone and so will the special effects of the items. Except for the legendary "Escape Rope". That is something that can bypass our system. Keep the rope at hand if you get scared. If you lose your other items inside the levels, do not worry, they will appear outside. However, if you lose your laser gun it will reappear next to you.

Oh and you may keep the laser gun afterwards.

The question is: cAN yOu deFEAt [redacted]?

Well, the choice is yours. Do you enter one of the doors or use the escape rope to get out of the temple?

Part 3

All of the levels start with a normal room of just the environment of the level. But there, in the starting point of the place, there are natives of Ellipsa sitting around with a look of defeat and desperation on their faces. They're physically fine as the simulator grants you the ability to just ignore hunger and other basic needs, but they're also stuck here. It seems the simulator is just too hard for them to get past. Most of them have no holographic hearts over their head or just one: they're close to dying and don't want to take the risk.

Escape ropes are their only hope of getting out of the place and they promise anything if you give them the item and help them escape.

If you give away your Escape Rope, the only way to leave is to either Game Over or Finish the Level. Good luck, players.

(There are also some natives in various other parts of the game, too scared to go further or go back. They can also be saved by taking them with you to the end and defeating the boss monster together but if they die, they die, so there is a risk in that method.)

The Levels [ Click to Expand ]

All basic monsters and boss monsters are weak to the laser gun. Some can even be jumped on to decrease their health.

Electricity
Design: A factory with plenty of platforms and conveyor belts over bottomless pits (or spikes) that change directions occasionally. The main hazard of the level is the beams of electricity that will damage players. They can be switched around with buttons, but deactivating one beam will activate another.
Instant Deaths: Bottomless Pits, Spikes

Basic Monsters: Ufo Catcher (a claw with googly eyes that will try to drop characters into a pit or spikes), Small Robot (small robots that throw wrenches at players), Slinky (slinkys with googly eyes that won't stop for anything)

Final Boss: Squirmle: A slinky minion mass-producing machine (looks like one of those Worms on String with googly eyes, but mechanical). Occasionally fires electric shocks that stun players for 5 seconds while the minions attack them. Weak to Smokescreen as the sand jams its machinery and makes it temporarily lose the ability to produce minions.
Boss Loot: Laser Gun Upgrade: Electric Shock (damages and has a chance to stun the opponent)

Snowflake
Design: A snowy mountain cave with active waterfalls. The ground is slippery (ice physics!) and some of the platforms have a limit as to how many times you can jump/walk on them (they reappear after a time). Occasionally, while on a normal platform, a strong stream of water will fall on it, intending to push players into a bottomless pit (it can be predicted by a few drops of water before it).
Instant Deaths: Bottomless pits

Basic Monsters: Snowmen (throw very sharp carrots at players), Skeletal Fish (fish that appear from the waterfalls and spit out lasers), Yeti (a monster that will try to stomp on players)

Final Boss: Frosty: A bipedal monster made of spiky ice (doesn't have a distinct form to refer to, just looks like a giant block of animated ice) that breathes a frosty breathe that both damages and makes players go slower. Tries to stomp players by jumping high in the air. Weak to Fire Bullets, as they will melt it little by little.
Boss Loot: Laser Gun Upgrade: Ice Beam (damages and has a chance to slow down an opponent)

Flame
Design: Inside of a volcano where all bottomless pits are lava pits. Platforms are mostly normal, until a notorious section where the only way to get over a lava pit is to jump on disappearing blocks. Learn the pattern and follow it. Occasionally lava rocks will fall from the ceiling (but luckily not during the disappearing block section).
Instant Deaths: Lava

Basic Monsters: Demonic Fireballs (fireballs that jump around from spot a to spot b and hurt a lot when they hit), Lava Bomb (occasional lava rock with googly eyes that can move towards players like a homing missile), Fireman robot (a robot that will try to douse fires with scorching hot water).

Final Boss: Lavadoom: A volcano headed monster (a volcano with eyes, mouth, arms and legs) that shoots fire bullets and lava rocks at players. Occasionally makes part of the floor be literal lava that burns players health little by little. Weak to Electric Shock as it will stun the monster for long enough to turn off the volcano on its head and then you can jump on it.
Boss Loot: Laser Gun Upgrade: Fire Bullets (damages and has a chance to cause burn damage over time)

Sandstorm
Design: A desert area full of bottomless pits and rocks with spikes. The floor is mostly quicksand that can only be crossed if you stay constantly in movement. Late in the level massive sandstorms will block players' view and push them towards the pits and spiked rocks, making movement during it very dangerous.
Instant Deaths: Bottomless Pits, Spikes

Basic Monsters: Walking Cacti (cactus that shoot spikes at players), Angry Missiles (ride the sandstorms and try to hit players), Sandworms (appear from the sand and try to bite the player)

Final Boss: Hurrisand: A bipedal sand monster (looks a bit like a it could be a human, but at the same time has animal features, not to be mixed with a certain Looney Tunes character) that will turn into a literal sandy hurricane that makes it hard to see anything and makes bullets miss. Weak to Ice Beam because it slows it down so that it can't turn into a hurricane.
Boss Loot: Laser Gun Upgrade: Smokescreen (enables easier escape from situations)

You're free to challenge all of the levels and gain all of the upgrades to the laser gun, which you can then use outside the temple as a weapon. Even after all of the natives are rescued or all of the levels have been beaten, you can re-enter the levels and do them again. You won't get the boss loot again, however.

When Your Heart's Not Open

Part 1

Back in the city, the weather is strangely cold in every district (except the central one that's safe due to the artificial weather there). Even the hottest of them, Solarpeak, is advising people to wear long-sleeved shirts, just in case, even if the temperature only drops to +10 Celsius/50 degrees Fahrenheit at worst.

The reason for the unexpectedly cold weather is simple: a cold breeze travels through the whole city. Sometimes the wind even appears white, as if it's laced with snow and ice. It's easy to tell that this is not a normal sort of wind, but a very magical one.

The wind indeed has a special effect: there's a chance of the wind freezing someone's heart. This doesn't instantly kill anyone, but instead it starts to freeze people from inside out. This effect especially targets people who either have secrets or have feelings that they hide. The freezing is a slow and painful process, taking two weeks to completely encase someone in ice. Once that happen they will end up breaking into pieces and die.

Somehow this wind doesn't affect the plant life or animals at all.

Part 2

Scientists are quick at work to work on a cure. They have found that there are certain ingredients in all four of the Segments that when mixed together into a potion will undo a frozen heart. So, to help those affected, there are some options that you can do.

Stay in the City to take care of the affected. The key to healing a frozen heart is not only the potion that they will make but also affection. So those brave enough to touch someone who feels cold as ice to touch are encouraged to hug and cuddle, tell them positive things about them and making sure they're comfortable. This will ease the pain and slow the spreading down.

Head to one of the Segments to find the ingredients. The guilds are helping with the preparations to go outside and providing anyone interested clear instructions and maps on where to find them:

• Winter Segment: Bottom of the Unfrozen Lake, a coral that can survive in cold temperatures
• Spring Segment: Breeze Hills, the eggs of a monstrous Firebird (a bird that has wings made of fire that spits out fireballs, not to be confused with a phoenix)
• Summer Segment: Deserter's Desert, a special cactus flower that only blooms during a sandstorm
• Autumn Segment: Mushroom Sanctuary, a special mushroom that only grows on top of the mushrooms that are a size of a house

Once all the necessary ingredients have been found and delivered, people can also participate in potion making. The more people helping with making potions, the quicker everyone affected can get their potions and be cured. The potion is successful if it smell like a warm fireplace during a winter night.

The Towering Jenga Heights

Part 1

The VR Arcade of the Underground is holding a special event: they have managed to come up with a technology where you can minimize yourself and enter board games! They're looking for volunteers to test this new way of gaming.

For example, there are games like Jenga, Monopoly, Chess, Hungry Hungry Hippo, Checkers, Scrabble and many, many more! The games are made to fit the tiny people, but are also very realistic. Oh and Monopoly has an actual jail, but the money is as fake as can be.

It seems Jenga in particular is at its regular size and people will have to climb to push pieces out. That definitely seems like a fun challenge? Everyone gets a safety rope that's attached to poles around the Jenga towers, that will act as sort of a safety bungee jump rope.

Usually the minimized effect wears off once you end the game and leave the game board, but occasionally the technology glitches and leaves players small. The unexpected side effect wears off between 2 to 12 hours.

Anyone who did participate in the experiment will either get a month of free VR gaming time or a handheld gaming console with classic 8-bit games like Tetris.

Part 2

Those stuck in a tiny form longer than expected may discover jumping platforms to the fairy mall. It's located in the ceiling of the Underground Mall and is fit for small people like fairies. Here the fairies are all visible as they go about shopping and relaxing. They're all friendly and will make sure you have a lovely time relaxing in this small fairy oasis. Be warned, however, that the food here is strictly for fairies so if you eat it, you might end up sprouting fairy wings for a week. And not necessarily on your back.

Don't worry, you can't turn back to your regular size in the middle of the fairy mall. The magic there prevents that for the duration. Once you return by jumping onto one of the cushions left below the mall, you will return to regular size.

For souvenirs, why not buy a little bit of fairy dust? It's useful for potions, as it gives them stronger magical capabilities but used as is will make anyone be able to fly for 24 hours. The problem is you cannot use it on yourself or else it will horribly backfire and turn you into a talking frog for 24 hours.

OOC TIPS

• Ask event related questions here.

• Smut is not allowed on the event post, so if your thread is heading that way, please move it to a private entry of your own (your own entry or a new locked post on the comms).

• Remember to content and spoiler warn as necessary!

• All of the prompts happen around the same time but you can get affected by the frozen wind after visiting the Temple of Life or the other way around.

• All natives will be rescued by the end of the month, but the Temple can be accessed later just for fun.

• The frozen hearts potion will be done by the end of the month as well.

Temple of Life
• More Escape ropes can be picked up from the guilds to save more natives, but there's no way to tell there's someone trapped inside until someone goes in, so they'd have to get back after the first visit.
• Smartphones do not work inside the Temple of Life.
• You are very much allowed to work together inside the temple.
• The boss door will only open once the previous group of players has defeated it and have been transported out of the Temple. Then the boss will respawn.
• No one will have basic human needs inside the temple. It's basically a simulator so it doesn't matter how long you spend in there. Once you get out you might need to refuel on touch energy and food as soon as possible, but other than that all one needs to worry is surviving the temple.
• We admit the inspiration for this came from "I can't defeat Airman" without shame.

Frozen Hearts
• The event can affect anyone, not just those with secrets and hidden feelings.
• At the same time, the event can completely miss people as well.
• Samples of the wind can be collected and analyzed but it will turn out as a classic "it's magic" explanation.

• Reminder that this month is Activity Check-in month and check-in ends on July 31st, at 23:59 PST.

code bases by tricklet

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In the pause before Jean speaks again, Reiner closes his eyes, trying to focus his healing. It doesn't seem to do anything—at least, nothing he can see. Chances are that his power doesn't recognize this magical malady; it doesn't know how to heal it as it would a broken bone. Yet at the same time, Reiner feels ever so slightly warmer.

He opens his eyes again when Jean speaks, the Armored's semi-opaque lenses glinting as he does so. Unless Reiner is mistaken, the slight warmth seems to be coming from the shoulder where Jean is perched.

"Thanks, Jean," he says, not wanting to jinx the apparent warmth by mentioning it too soon. Instead, he asks, "Do you want a hand to hang onto? Or a change of scenery?"

Jean's hand is kind of getting tired of holding onto the small strands of hair. How very rude of him to not have longer hair... though it's hard to imagine Reiner with any longer hair than this.

"A hand would be nice. But I don't mind staying here. Unless you're getting bored standing around..."

As long as he can hold onto something, it didn't matter if Reiner moved or not.

"All right. I'm gonna raise my opposite hand."

Jean could probably guess as much, and it will become apparent as soon as Reiner begins the motion. However, given the situation, Reiner errs on the side of more warning, not less.

Moving slowly and cautiously, Reiner raises the Armored's opposite hand toward his shoulder. He stops somewhere around his armpit, rotating his wrist so that Jean sees the back of the Armored's hand, not a palm ready to slap down and squish him flat. Then Reiner brings his hand to his shoulder proper, stopping within easy grabbing distance for Jean, his fingers far easier to hold than short strands of hair.

Like the rest of Reiner's Titan, those fingers are cooler than they ought to be.

Jean appreciates the warning and is prepared for the titan hand to come up. It's still quite unnerving for a giant arm to approach you, but it's not as bad as it could be.

Once the hand is properly stopped, Jean takes a hold of one of the fingers. It's definitely colder than he expects, which is honestly creepy.

"Do you feel any warmth when I hold your finger like this? I heard being close to people helps a bit."

Sensation is strange as a Titan. Reiner feels no pain—not beyond impacts that jostle his real body around—but he can still sense hot and cold. They aren't necessarily uncomfortable: they just exist.

The heat Reiner feels from Jean's touch to his finger is far more potent than it should be. Reiner watches, as if he might be able to see magic at work. (Naturally, he can't.)

"I didn't wanna say anything to jinx it. You're right, though. It translates strangely through my Titan, but the places you're touching do feel warmer than the rest of me."

"Well, that's something good, at least", Jean says. He thinks about the situation for a while. How odd it was to be hanging on the Armored Titan's shoulder, clinging onto a finger. So odd.

How much does warming a finger even help when you're freezing over. Jean looks at the Armored's face. Ah, what the heck, he might as well suggest something.

"If you want to, you can hold me on your palm and bring you to your chest for warmth. That might help even better than just this."

For a moment, the Armored Titan remains motionless, appearing more like a statue than anything. Within its nape, Reiner's eyes are wide, his emotions and thoughts a jumbled mix moving too quickly for him to catch. He reviews the facts, putting them in order—yet the moment he hits, "Jean wants to climb into my Titan's hand," Reiner's thoughts start spinning again.

Reiner doesn't deserve such trust. He emphatically does not deserve it. Not from Jean, of all people. But the offer is there. Does Jean even realize how much it means? Of course he does. Jean is smarter than damn near everyone. So why…?

Reiner's frozen chest aches, shaking him from his reverie. Out of habit, he responds with only a nod at first, the Armored's head inclining. Then, remembering himself, Reiner uses his telepathy to say, "All right."

He turns his hand over, offering his palm for Jean to step into. Then he adds, "I'll move slowly so the wind won't buffet you."

Not that the journey from shoulder to chest is far. (Not on the Armored Titan; the Colossal would be far different.) Still, Reiner doesn't want Jean to worry.

Jean's aware it's quite a show of trust. But it's a choice he made. A choice to try and show Reiner more trust. They'd already bonded over all sort of grim things, so adding to the positives was an important step. It was his way to deal with this complicated situation. And maybe... maybe it would be what Marco would do, too. Maybe he was just doing what he thinks his best friend might do. But it was also his own feelings. A fusion of ideals.

No violence. No unnecessary violence and hate. Yet no forgiveness. Keeping the things Reiner has done at the back of his mind as a reminder, but being able to interact without them coming out every second.

That inclunded trusting him enough to actually climb on the palm once it was ready, holding onto a finger again. He had never been on Eren's palm before, so this was a whole new experience in that sense too. It was a strange feeling.

"Alright. I'm ready."

He felt so small.

It isn't the first time Reiner has held someone in his Titan's hand. He has lifted his fellow Warriors in the past, placing them on his shoulders or snatching them away from danger. However, it doesn't happen often. Lately, it has occurred only in frantic situations with few other options. (Something that can be said for many things, now that Reiner thinks about it.)

He feels Jean step onto his Titan's palm, a negligible weight, warmth seeming to permeate even from Jean's feet. Reiner waits until Jean says he's ready. Then, moving slowly, he brings Jean to the Armored's chest, the side of his hand resting against it to create a platform.

A memory intrudes: protecting Bertolt from Pure Titans and Scouts alike, frantically fighting to avoid being overwhelmed. Reiner tries to push it from his mind—but the ache of his best friend's absence shoots through him, that awful chill briefly worsening.

"All good?" he asks, unable to see Jean quite as well from this angle.

The hand definitely moved slow, which was good all things considered. He had gone a lot faster at heights like these, but slow was better, right now. (He's gone fast down, down, right towards the surface of a frozen lake-) He felt safe, holding onto the giant fingers as the hand moved, having his gear ready and even having a floating cape on him. He was fine. (Was this higher than lower than the mountain they were on?) He was fine, Reiner wouldn't drop him. (Don't look down. Don't look down.)

Once the hand had properly stopped, Jean took distance from the edge of the palm, from Reiner's fingers. Almost as if the edge was something dangerous to be near in. He sits down, leaning against the Armored's chest and sighing in relief.

Right. Reiner asked something, didn't he.

"Uh, yeah. Does this help?"

If he sounds a bit shaky, he is. He hadn't expected this to be this hard on him mentally. He probably should have.

Reiner notes the shakiness in Jean's voice, a tremor that oughtn't be there, hinting at Jean's unease. So Reiner pulls his mind further from Bertolt and focuses on the sensation of Jean against the Armored's chest, hoping to be able to give some good news.

Sure enough, Reiner feels a spot of warmth slowly spreading from where Jean sits, filtering through his Titan and into Reiner's real body.

"Yeah," Reiner says, a hint of relief in his tone. "Yeah, I think it's helping."

He can guess two possible reasons for Jean's unease. The first: Jean is sitting in a Titan's hand. The second: Jean is recalling the cold, lonely fall after the werewolf attack. Unable to determine which it might be from voice alone, Reiner decides to ask before taking more action.

"Do you want my other hand as a wall?"

Something that could either soothe Jean's anxiety or make it exponentially worse, depending on its source.

Surprisingly, sitting on a titan's hand is least of his worries. Even if it probably should be terrifying.

"... yeah, that would be great." Answer is B, the fall. As long as he doesn't need to look down or has something that keeps him safe, it would be fine.

Reiner complies without hesitation, his other hand lifting, forming a wall between Jean and the Spring Segment stretched out before them. Reiner is careful not to cup his hand over Jean; he's trying to provide security, not claustrophobia. And even if he has no intention of hurting Jean, Reiner knows all too well how frightening a Titan's hands can be.

"You can latch onto my Armor if you want, too," he offers. "The hooks don't hurt me. Not much does. Have you ever felt someone poke you when you're bundled up in a thick coat or blanket? It's a little like that."

He's intentionally rambling a bit, trying to get Jean's mind off the height. In retrospect, Reiner should've offered to sit down—but he doesn't want to do that now, concerned that the extra movement (and the sensation of dropping) would do more harm than good.

It feels more secure this way and Jean's grateful for that. Honestly, not seeing how small things were did wonders to his mental health right now. It let him actually think about how weird it was to sit on a titan's hand, protected. Since he had a lot more on his mind it wasn't really scary like it should be.

"... I'm fine for now, but thanks. Better avoid as much extra things as possible, in case your condition would worsen with them."

While he wouldn't normally feel the poking, who's to say that wouldn't change if his body was going through other things that shouldn't be happening.

But talking does help with the situation, so he will continue.

"Guess neither of us ever expected we'd end up in a situation like this, huh?"

Reiner hadn't even considered that his Titan's hardiness might be impacted by this malady. A shiver rolls down his spine, uneasiness churning in his gut. He tries to breathe past it, focusing on the warm spot emanating from his Titan's chest, Jean's presence providing relief.

"Definitely not," Reiner agrees. It applies to so many things: the slow freezing of his body; the soldier from Paradis cradled in the Armored's hand; the fact that they're in a whole new world full of unknown dangers. Mostly, it applies to Jean trusting him enough to sit in his Titan's hand.

After a slight hesitation, Reiner says, "I haven't picked up many people like this, aside from other Warriors. My Titan is most useful as a shield."

It's the Jean sitting on a titan's palm that's not Eren that does it for Jean, personally. Other things he's gotten used to in the past years. The ridiculousness of the worlds out here.

"You're still surprisingly gentle, even if you don't have lots of experience on it. I didn't feel like I had to be scared of you at all."

Reiner's throat tightens, too many emotions swelling within him at once. Gratitude, guilt, and hope are chief among them. He doesn't want Jean to be afraid of him. He knows it's for the best if Jean is afraid of him. He wants to live in this world without Jean ever having to be afraid of him.

He swallows and squeezes his eyes shut, stubbornly keeping his mental voice steady.

"I'm glad. I know how scary a Titan's hands can be."

Thinking better of mentioning the time Annie squeezed him while Jean and Armin looked on, Reiner chooses a more recent example instead.

"One of them nearly crushed my skull at that crumbling old castle. Did Connie or Kris— Historia ever tell you about that?"

Jean definitely remembers the moment Annie grabbed him, but he pushes the thought aside. It's not important or something to get into right now. Armin explained what happened there, anyway. Back then they had no idea. Armin might have suspected what the Female Titan really was, but no one realized anything about Reiner or Bertholt.

"Connie had to write a report about what happened at the castle. He talked out loud about the events so he wouldn't forget anything. So yeah, he told me about that." While being heartbroken about Reiner's betrayal. Connie took it even worse than he did. He's always been the more sentimental one. Even if he tried to curse out Reiner and Bertholt's (and even Ymir's) names, Jean could tell he was more hurt than angry.

Even days after they had returned. Even weeks. Even as they prepared to leave for Shiganshina knowing they'd face their former friends again. Connie had been emotional. Sasha, too. Both had wondered if they could do it. But they also swore they would with a brave facade on that Jean completely saw through. He had known he'd have to likely steel their resolve.

Just like he had to, his own. While he wasn't as emotional about it, he was hurt, too.

"... Connie really misses you." He finally says, after a slightly longer silence, not bringing attention to his feelings. "He tries to pretend he doesn't, but he sometimes slips up when we're alone on patrols."

Despite everything, Reiner smiles at the idea of Connie narrating events aloud so he could accurately write a report. That guy doesn't have much for brains, but he more than makes up for it in heart. It's just the sort of thing Reiner would've gently teased Connie about before helping his friend out with said report.

If that had been an option. If the report hadn't concerned him, as Reiner assumes it did.

What was it like for their friends in the immediate aftermath? Reiner and Bertolt once discussed that question, wondering what their friends must be thinking and feeling. Wondering how Jean and Connie, in particular, would handle the news. They got their answer faster than expected, their friends somehow hunting them down to retrieve Eren. Reiner still remembers it: Jean's anger, Connie's denial, Mikasa's determination, and Armin's silence.

Then Jean speaks again, and Reiner swears that he feels something in his icy chest crack. He squeezes his eyes shut, swallowing hard. Trying to think of what to say.

"I…"

No, he can't say that. He can't say, I wish things were different. He can't say, I'm sorry I had to go.

"… Yeah. Same." A painful admission on its own. "I hope he shows up here."

That way, Reiner can at least speak to Connie and see his face again.

Jean is quieter at Reiner's words. Hope... how long did he go hoping for people to show up before he gave up? He gave up for months but they felt like years. He had stopped going to the beach in Avalon to check if anyone from home had shown up. Stopped hoping to see a familiar name on the network or a familiar face in the crowd.

All that hope had brought him had been pain. The feeling of emptiness when there was no one there. So he stopped and focused on what he did have. Focused ever harder on Mikasa being there with him to forget what they didn't have.

Then Eren showed up, out of nowhere. After that several others had arrived.

That hope sparked up again. He began to wander around the center district. Around the Research Center, until he realized what he was doing and turned his energy into training. Almost burned himself out in the progress.

"... there's no use in hoping. You'll only hurt yourself as a result. Who they bring in is so random there's no place for hope", Jean says, with a rather cold, detached tone. "I've been to three worlds. This was the first one that finally brought someone who wasn't Mikasa along. Only after I had given up months ago you all arrived. I'm tired of waiting and hoping for a miracle that's not going to happen."

Only once he figures out how to do it himself will he hope again.

Reiner flinches.

The Armored Titan remains stoic, perfectly still, not even a twitch to betray the pain lancing through Reiner like a(nother) blade through his heart. But within the Armored's nape, protected by hardened places that no knife's edge can pierce, Reiner flinches.

Jean's voice sounds so cold. Flat. Stripped of even the semblance of hope, harsh experience transforming each word into a blunt weapon. A part of Reiner feels pity for Jean. Another part wants to rail against Jean, insisting that, obviously, Jean just gave up too early. They're here, aren't they? So many of them are here now; what's to stop Connie from joining them?

In the end, it is Reiner's relatively new grasp on telepathy that decides his response, words spoken into Jean's mind before Reiner can yank them back:

"I can't live like that."

It's honest. Revealing. Too revealing, prompting Reiner to literally bite his tongue as if that might keep his thoughts in check.

But it's true. If Reiner were to give up hope, where would that leave him? A lone Warrior with no one who understands the weight he carries? A mass murderer unable to share his sins? A teenager whose inexplicably older cousin calls Levi her best friend? A piece of shit seeking comfort from the best friend of a boy he murdered?

He really is pathetic. But he can't live without hope. He can't live without believing that someday, he won't feel so alone.

The telepathic message feels heavy. Like Reiner is desperate to hold onto the concept of hope. Jean can no longer do that. He can't keep hoping he'd see his friends... that he'd see his parents again. In his dreams for sure, but actually smiling in front of him so he could hug them because he missed them?

That he could actually hug Marco again and apologize for not being there for him like he had been for him. Tell him all the things he didn't have time for in the weird dreamscape he was in Avalon.

Jean feels his thoughts spiral and shakes his head as if it would clear his mind. He finally ends the long silence.

"... then don't. But don't come crying to me if you end up more broken because of it."

Because he did warn Reiner. But that's all he'll really do. It's not up to him to tear Reiner's last sliver of hope away.

More broken. Words spoken with Jean's characteristic blunt honesty. Words that dig into Reiner, sharp as any blade.

It's true. Reiner is already broken. He knows it; Jean knows it; Eren knows it.

Does Gabi know? Do the others? Selfishly (or fearfully), Reiner hopes not. He hopes that only a few people realize that any damage to his psyche would only worsen the damage already dealt.

And he hopes that none of them truly understand how fragile he feels inside.

Reiner says nothing. He won't come crying to Jean because he won't break. He won't break because he knows he's right. It's only a matter of time before Bertholdt, Annie, or another Warrior arrives. It's only a matter of time before Reiner isn't alone.

It's only a matter of time.

It has to be.

The silence is telling. Jean shifts a little, taking a slightly more comfortable position despite not feeling comfortable. At least not mentally.

"Sorry", he says. "Should have thought of a better conversation topic."

Talking about Connie, then about hope. The atmosphere felt hopeless.

"We should probably consider heading back. At least before it gets dark."

Reiner doesn't respond to the apology, but not because he doesn't accept it. He simply doesn't know what to say. He's the one who brought up the past, mentioning Connie, Historia, and that old castle. He's the one who abandoned his comrades. He's the one who turned traitor. He's the one who would've been a traitor no matter which side he chose.

He's the one who can't bear the weight of his guilt alone.

He's the one who feels like he's going fucking crazy without his best friend's support.

So Reiner leaves the apology alone, just responding with a (flat, tired) affirmative.

"Yeah. All right."

Reiner returns Jean to the ground after informing him of the movement and instructing him to hold on. Then Reiner pulls himself from the Armored, Titan lines etched beneath tired eyes, pale skin still cold. Not as cold as it was before; their conversation may have turned uncomfortable, but Jean still heated some of the chill in Reiner's chest. Even so, he feels little better than before.

Maybe he just needs to sleep.

He tilts his head toward the city in a wordless, Let's go. Then he begins to walk, side-by-side with Jean.

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rustyhonesty - 2023-10-04 15:53 (UTC) - Expand

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