(open) ☀️ beach bonfire party

[niwabi]

WHO: Everyone! You and you and yes, YOU!
WHAT: Summer Beach Party
WHEN: June 23rd
WHERE: Solarpeak Beach
WARNINGS: none for now!

BEACH PARTY

The sun is shining, a cool, crisp ocean breeze flutters across the shores of Solarpeak Beach. There's not a single cloud in the sky, the perfect day to have a party! Whether you heard about it through Yoimiya's network post, word of mouth or just happen to stumble onto the festivities, everyone is invited to Ellipsa's scorching hot Beach Bonfire Party! Grab your swimsuits, sun dresses, or whatever you feel the most comfortable in, and join in on the fun.

➤

Gonna Soak Up the Sun

Through the combined efforts of Sisu, Yoimiya, and the many kind volunteers who lent their assistance in setting up the venue, the beach party is here and open to the public! Upon arrival, everyone will be given a choice of colorful, handmade hibiscus leis or bracelets to adorn for the party. They aren't mandatory in the slightest, just a cute little thank-you gift to those who are attending. After receiving a warm welcome from the hosts, you're free to set off and have fun! Meet up with friends or introduce yourself to new people from distant worlds, the party is your oyster. Of course, there will be plenty of other activities to partake in as well. Venture forth to the fun!

Feeling brave and daring? Sitting on top of the ocean is an inflatable balance beam built especially for water jousting. Foam joust poles and life jackets (if you wish to wear one!) will be given to would-be challengers looking to scratch the itch for a fight. The goal is to assert your dominance by knocking adversaries into the water and be the last person standing. Show off your strength and become the champion of the beach!

Perhaps you might be in the mood for a bit of fun in the sand. A large area of the beach is sectioned off for the grand Sandcastle Competition. Solarpeak residents from all across the city are bustling with excitement, flocking in to watch the artists do their magic, so go wild with your creations and give them a good show! Buildings, any kind of sculpture, or even just a basic castle are all accepted, let your imagination run free. You can even drag a buddy in for a helping hand if your work of art requires assistance. For the winner, the grand prize is a summer gift basket filled with goodies for a nice relaxing spa day at home. Tucked away inside the basket are gift cards to various restaurants in Ellipsa. Don't fret if you aren't interested in participating! Anyone is welcome to walk around and marvel at the competitor's creations.

➤

A Feast for All

The hosts are bound and determined to ensure that no one leaves this beach hungry. If you're craving a cold tasty treat to stave off the heat, a bustling shaved ice stall is here to cool down roasting attendees. An endless variety of flavors are available for mixing and matching, waiting to quench your thirst. If you are feeling adventurous, there are a few questionable flavors on the menu such as Bacon, Durian, Jalapeño, Ketchup, Mushroom, Pickle juice and Seaweed. Try them at your risk or if your palette is "hungry" for something more on the "unique" side.

For those who made inquiries about alcohol, special arrangements have been made! A small pop-up bar has been set up for today's joyous occasion. The bar's pride and joy is a variety of summer-themed cocktails but you can also find other basic liquor or non-alcoholic drinks if your tastebuds are craving simplicity. To go alongside the refreshing beverages, food is also provided at this small establishment. Some of the dishes on the menu are: kebabs with a hint of rum, peach bruschetta, spring rolls, fish and chips, crab hush puppies, and a spicy jalapeño popper dip (you can also ask for the ghost pepper version of this dip if you are feeling brave). All the hosts ask is that visitors to the bar be mindful of the people who can't or aren't interested in drinking.

Decorated across the shores of the beach are tables, picnic blankets, and sizzling hot grills for the designated picnic area. In a similar fashion to the potluck that took place a while back, several tables have been set up for those who like to go crazy in the kitchen or wish to advertise their food business by bringing samples to share.

Time flies when so much fun is taking place! As the last light of day begins to fade, the stars come out to brighten up the night sky on this clear summer day. However, just because there's no more sunlight, doesn't mean the party is over. Far from it! There's still lots of excitement to be had for the attendees who wish to stick around for the night festivities.

➤

A Midsummer Night's Glow

On the middle of the beach, a blazing bonfire burns ever so brightly inside a log fire pit. Eat snacks, catch up with friends, meet new people, or get cozy with others should one be feeling touch starved. In need of an icebreaker? A game of truth or dare or telling scary stories makes for a good way to pass the time. Maybe you'll have a fateful encounter and land yourself a date before the night is over.

With a sky full of beautiful stars, a bustling bonfire, and a large open space, the atmosphere is perfect for dancing. The DJ for the evening is the bright and energetic Aimoto Rinku, here to bust out an array of sick beats with her turntable. There's plenty of fun to be had in a group conga line or grab a partner for a slow, romantic bolero, and dance to whatever music piques your interest. A small makeshift stage is also set up for those who wish to sing, Rinku will be more than happy to work with any potential performers. From upbeat EDM to ballads, all types of genres fill the air with music. Let loose, enjoy the melody, and dance the night away!

➤

Festive Mementos

For one of the hosts, summer just isn't the same without fireworks exploding across the sky. To end the evening with a bang, a beautiful barrage of fireworks paints the night sky in various colors and patterns. As a final gift to the attendees, Yoimiya has prepared sparklers for everyone to play with. There are a variety of colors to choose from, pink, red, blue, green, orange, purple, yellow, etc. No matter what color catches your fancy, with a little flick of the wand, all of them appear like twinkling stars sparkling and flickering across the stick.

To end off the light show, fireworks representing each of the seasons burst into the sky. Blue snowflakes for Winter, pink cherry blossoms for spring, a yellow sun for Summer, and red maple leaves for Autumn. After the vibrant display, a final golden ray of light flickers and explodes into a bright, heartwarming message for all of the guests. "Thank you for attending! You are all amazing! Let's have a great time in Ellipsa!"

(OOC: Make your own top levels, mingle and have fun! ♡)

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[hometown]

Eren's maddening lips curl into a half-smirk, apparently pleased by that cheap victory. It makes Reiner's utterly irrational hurt sting a little more, salt water in a fresh wound. Reiner tries to shove it down, kicking away his pathetic reaction. Tries to dismiss it as unimportant.

Why is he even upset? It's his own fault for not getting over this shit. He was doing so well before he came to this world; he worked hard in those months atop Wall Maria, piecing himself back together with Bertolt at his side, the two of them carefully avoiding Zeke's suspicion. And now, what? He looks at Eren and Jean and starts falling apart again…?!

And there Eren stands, pleased with himself. Proud of that shitty, underhanded move.

What a fucking asshole.

Reiner doesn't hesitate. He moves in slower than before, feet planted as solidly as he can, drawing just close enough for what he intends to do. He hasn't clued in to Eren's true intention; he doesn't realize that Eren was trying to learn from his own counter. However, Reiner saw the strike Eren used: an imitation of his own. He doesn't intend to give Eren another tutorial.

So before Reiner is in range for that favored attack, he abruptly lowers the "muzzle" and rams it forward, using every bit of muscle he has. Aiming to stab Eren with what would be a bayonet.

It's far too serious a blow for this game. Even with foam sticks, Reiner is strong. But he's angry: at Eren, at himself, at his shattered identity. So, fuck fighting fair. Eren sure as hell isn't.

[dreamsofwings]

This is where Eren's planning, such as it is, falls apart. He can't predict with any real accuracy how people will behave. Who can? Well, Armin probably can, at least to some some extent. Eren is basically assuming things will go the way they've gone, that they'll be four for four here.

As soon as Reiner moves, he realises he's wrong. Shit, what is he supposed to do to block that? For as many people as Eren has killed, will kill, he hasn't fought that many of them up close and personal. A few, sure. But mostly he's had fistfights or titan fights. Even serious fights before they reclaimed the walls, they weren't like this. Guns, sure. Not rifles. Not calculated strikes with weapons.

It's not like a sword fight, either. He's trained with a sword and is passable with it, but these are foam sticks, not at all designed to do what swords do.

He has to make a choice, and fast. Move out of the way (into the water), or take the hit and hope he doesn't fall. These are not very good odds.

He picks the stupider choice. Of course he doesn't just dodge; that's still losing, because falling again is a loss no matter what causes it. And he's not a coward anyway, shying away because he pushed Reiner too far.

He does his best to block or deflect; the technique he tried to observe from before won't work here at all. He deflects the stick only a little, taking the hit off center instead of head on. That's a mistake too, though in the end there were no good choices here.

Reiner is stronger than Eren, obviously, and though Eren is braced for an attack, there's no real contest. The blow actually hurts; if he was a regular person it would probably bruise. It will bruise, really, but only for a minute.

He can't right himself again after the hit, wincing in pain, moving his own stuck too clumsily in an attempt to counterattack. But he's already off balance, and whether his wild strike connects or not, he tips to the side. This is a worse way to fall, for him, because he hits the water sideways, the momentum flipping him so he's not sure which way is up.

It will take him a few extra seconds in the pull of the waves to figure it out. He comes up coughing water. Stupid. Why did he think this was going to work?

[hometown]

As close as they are, Reiner catches that wince of pain on Eren's face, the foam stick lessening but not eliminating the strength of Reiner's blow. That angry, stinging part of Reiner sneers a vicious, Good. Eren hurt him, now he hurt Eren. Simple schoolyard justice.

Eren's wild swing connects. Reiner drops to a knee and plants a hand on the beam, keeping himself steady. Cheating, probably, if not in letter, then in spirit. But screw it. Eren is already in the water. What's the point of Reiner falling in, too? Why shouldn't he take advantage of being the only one still on the beam?

Eren flails in the waves again. This time, Reiner doesn't shout, throwing accusations that Eren said he could swim. This time, he remembers that the ocean is a far different beast. But it's still Eren's fault for pigheadedly refusing to wear a life jacket. It's still Eren's fault for fucking with Reiner's head.

He remains kneeling, glaring down at Eren as the other boy surfaces, coughing up water. For a moment, Reiner considers withholding his hand, refusing to help Eren back up. But…

But…

Furious with himself, Reiner extends his hand.

"Are you satisfied?" he snaps. A demand that's half anger, half everything else: hurt, humiliation, uncertainty, and other feelings too fleeting to name. However Eren interprets it, it's likely evident that Reiner isn't asking about the game.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren would probably feel the same in Reiner's place, glad to cause hurt if he'd been hurt. But even though this is entirely his fault, he's sore about it. He's a hypocrite with a shitty temper, after all.

Eren isn't really expecting the help. He sure doesn't deserve it after that stunt, playing Reiner's confusion against him. But Reiner is still nicer than Eren, and even being pissed he still helps Eren out of the water. Eren accepts, then sits there on the edge of the beam, legs in the water. He lets his own anger (mostly) drain away, dripping off him like the water from his hair.

"No," he answers, almost sullen. He follows what the question is really asking. It's not about the game. Of course he's not satisfied about that either, but he's lost his taste for getting his ass kicked at this.

He stares down into the water for a minute, coughs again. Ugh, saltwater really is disgusting.

He chews on his lip for a minute.

"I shouldn't have done that," he says. It's not quite an apology. He's not prone to giving apologies to people. They don’t really matter to him. Once the damage is done, what good are apologies? He's too used to his actions being unforgivable.

[hometown]

After all this, Reiner expects more anger. He expects Eren to refuse the offered hand, accuse him of another cheap shot, and demand yet another match. He expects a fight, verbal or otherwise. Words sit ready on Reiner's tongue, fueled by fury and hurt. He's ready to say that this is a waste of his time. He's ready to scream, shout, and shove Eren into the water again.

But that isn't what happens. Eren sits on the beam, legs dangling in the water, trousers sopping wet. The air shifts between them, Eren's anger no longer sparking and spitting like wildfire. Reiner remains kneeling, studying Eren's gloomy face. Watching Eren chew his infuriating, bewitching lips. Wondering if this is just a reprieve. Wondering what's going through Eren's head.

The apology isn't quite an apology. It's still more than Reiner anticipates. His eyes widen, startled. After a moment, he shifts from his kneeling position, sitting on the beam as well, legs dangling off the opposite side to help maintain its balance.

They're sitting close together. Close enough that a slight lean would bring their bare shoulders into contact. Close enough that Reiner's hand could slide over from where it rests on the beam, brushing Eren's hip. However, Reiner doesn't initiate any such touches. He stares out at the horizon, looking at nothing in particular. Focusing on Eren sitting beside him, facing the opposite direction.

Honestly, what is he even angry about? What right does he have to feel hurt? It's his fault for being fucked in the head. And whatever's going on between them—whatever they shared in the dark—it doesn't erase all the things exposed by the light of day.

"You saw an opportunity, and you took it," Reiner finally says. It's not quite forgiveness, just as Eren's words weren't quite an apology. He sounds more tired than anything, his anger and humiliation turning inward. Beating himself up for something he can't control.

[dreamsofwings]

It isn't that Eren is entirely tired of fighting, of violence. He lashes out at people less than he once did, though when he does it, there could be such consequences. They're lucky he didn't accidentally set something on fire with all his rage and embarrassment. But he didn't, did he? No fire. No actual punches thrown. No lightning spark of titans.

What point would there be to any of that? He doesn't actually want to fight Reiner. He wanted to win a game he didn't stand a chance at, and he played dirty enough to hurt. He still lost, which grates on him, but it's his own fault.

That kind of thing, that's not how you treat a…

A what?

It's not even harsh enough for how he'd treat an actual enemy. It's too harsh for how he'd treat a friend (just kidding, he's shitty to his friends too), far too harsh for how he should treat someone who caught him in the dark. Maybe it's Reiner's fault he's a mess, those fractures inside himself trying to fit into two worlds at once. Pushing on those buttons, though…it's not fair. The whole world isn't fair, but does Eren really need to make it worse?

Reiner doesn't really absolve him, but he doesn't get pissed and shove him back into the water or say something shitty back. It has to be enough.

"Yeah," Eren says. But what was the cost?

"You still beat me," he says after a minute, still sullen because he hates losing.

[hometown]

The waves pull at Reiner's feet, bare legs distorted by the water. Push and pull, a motion over which he has no control. Is that what it's like in his head? The confusion snuck up on him this time, a rogue wave knocking him flat before he even realized it was there. Did it have something to do with Eren? Is Reiner always going to struggle when he's around his former friends?

Push and pull. It feels like what's happening with Eren, too, although Reiner doesn't have a name for that. He just keeps chasing it. Chasing Eren. Seeking the other boy out like he can't help himself.

Reiner wipes a hand over his face, smoothing back his short hair before laying his hand between them again. Still not touching Eren. Still close enough to do so if he'd just reach a little farther.

"I started training when I was five," Reiner says, as if that explains everything. To him, it does. He barely remembers life before he began training: first competing to become a Warrior Candidate, then a full-fledged Warrior. His childhood played out in drills and maneuvers, tests he couldn't afford to fail. Of course he's better at a game where he can envision a foam stick as a rifle. Why wouldn't he be?

Reiner doesn't know how much Eren learned about his life before the Training Corps. His real life, not the fiction that he and Bertolt pretended. However, Eren mentioned Marley, and Hange revealed they know about the Warriors. From that, Reiner assumes Eren has some basic knowledge about the Warrior Unit. Namely, how young they are when they begin training.

Healthy Eldian children from ages five to seven. No younger, no older. Of course, if the program accepted children younger than that, Reiner would've been there with his mother's blessing.

"Besides," he adds, throwing a look Eren's way, "I'm still bigger than you."

Not older anymore, which is both strange and easy for Reiner to forget. In terms of height and muscle mass, though, Reiner still has Eren beat.

Gold eyes narrow slightly. "And you can't say you didn't deserve it."

Maybe the first few bouts were unfair because Reiner thought they had the same training. But that last one where he threw all his strength into the blow? Yeah, Reiner has no regrets.

[dreamsofwings]

In another situation, it could have been reversed. Eren doesn't have the same issues Reiner does, but he gets stuck out of time, memories crashing around him until he can't entirely remember when he is. Besides that, he does know how the story ends, and it twisted him to know it. Was there ever another way? When would that have been? This story started before they were born.

He glances to the side to see Reiner's profile.

"I know," he says after a moment, though it's only half true. He knows the ages of the Warrior Candidate program, though whether he knows because he learned in Marley or because his dad or Kruger or someone knew, well…who knows. Information and memories and the timeline get all fucked up in his head and he can never set that all down properly.

Eren was always going to be a soldier. That was his plan since he was smaller than he can remember. (Was this a plan instilled in him by the insane future, manipulated because of the Paths? Where is the stop and start of it? Which thing actually came first? There's no way to know.)

But he didn't train for it. There was no need, until the wall was breached. Even then, he was 12 when he started training. Reiner knows that; he was there for most of it.

He makes a sort of scoff at that bigger comment.

"I can fight people bigger than me," he says. There aren't that many he has to, but sure, in theory he can. He could when he was younger and smaller; he learned from Annie, after all, who is smaller than most people she fights. But in a game like this with the sticks? No, he never really stood a chance.

"…Probably," he says. He already said he shouldn't have done it. That's as good as he has to give.

He's quiet for a long moment again, legs dragging back and forth through the water like he's a kid fascinated with the pull of the ocean and not a full grown adult thinking about the water boiling around legs he can't even really feel.

He almost drifts out of it then, thinking about that. His hands curl into fists like they so often do when this happens. His legs stop moving, eyes distant, seeing another ocean for a moment.

He manages to come back from it.

"I think I like this better when you're not pissed at me," he finally says. It's an odd thing to admit. They can't not be enemies. There's too much that's happened on either side. Eren can't promise he'd never do that sort of manipulative bullshit again. He probably will. He's not a saint, after all, not even to people he cares deeply about.

He promised Levi he would be better, though. He's trying, usually.

[hometown]

It's true that Eren can fight people bigger than him. Even though Reiner used to take it easy on Eren during hand-to-hand combat training, Eren still learned how to fight. Reiner blames Annie for that. He recognized a few of her moves when he and Eren fought as Titans in Wall Rose's shadow. Now that Reiner is no longer sick with worry over Annie's torture (fuck Armin and that lie), he can even feel a bit miffed about it. What was she thinking, training Eren like that?

Not that any of them knew what Eren was back then. If they did, it would've changed everything.

Still, he rolls his eyes at the comment, as if to say, "Yeah, yeah." How effective would even Annie's techniques be without room to dodge and maneuver on a narrow beam? Right now, Reiner doesn't particularly care to find out.

He's still hurt. Still angry. Still tired. Yet he remains where he is, side-by-side with Eren, waves lapping at their legs. The beam rises and falls beneath them, and for a short, quiet time, it's almost peaceful.

Then Eren speaks again. Reiner's gaze, which had drifted to the waves, turns back to Eren.

He could respond with a quick quip, saying something like, Then quit pissing me off. But there are too many maddening things about Eren. His stubbornness, his wrath, his impassivity, his bewildering sympathy. Too many things that make Reiner want to snap and snarl like a dog, though whether he's attacking or trying to protect himself depends on the day. Some of it is Eren's fault. Some of it is Reiner's. Most of it is just shitty circumstances.

Today, it was definitely Eren's fault. Who's to say it won't be Reiner's turn next time? How can Reiner predict anything when he doesn't know what the hell they're doing?

So Reiner doesn't make an empty promise about trying not to get angry; he isn't even sure that's possible with so much history and bullshit between them. Instead, he reaches out, braving the distance between their bodies to lay his hand atop Eren's fist. Grasping it. Squeezing.

Reiner's fingers aren't trembling anymore, grip strong and steady, as if he's as solid on the inside as he is on the outside. He isn't thinking about the eyes on the beach, the possibility that someone might see this despite the ever-changing angle brought about by the waves. (Besides, why would he care?) He's only thinking about Eren: the too-warm skin beneath his palm, the sweet words in the dark, the cruel ones in the light. He's thinking about the complicated mess between them, his own hands bloodied, Eren's burning with wrath. He's thinking about them, whatever "this" might be.

And he's reaching out. Holding on.

"Likewise," he eventually says, quiet as a confession. Admitting something he knows can never be.

tw gore, talk of self-mutilation/injury, blood, just Eren in Marley things

[dreamsofwings]

Annie probably deeply regrets teaching Eren a damn thing. It's given him a leg up he wouldn't have otherwise had, but back then even Eren didn't know that he knew he was a titan. No one knew, by Eren's own future design and probably a little chance. (This Eren, present Eren, isn't entirely sure about the missing memories thing, the way he can reach through time and seal his own memories away, the true extent of the manipulation he stages with the Founder's power. Maybe he will never know now. Maybe it's better that way.)

Eren almost expects a fight anyway, something Reiner will toss back at him in anger. They could get riled up again, though out here on this beam he'll just end up in the stupid water again. Reiner has an advantage there, too, not just strength, but training, more awareness of swimming in the ocean. Also he's not wearing pants and Eren is, which does drag him down more when he's actually in the water.

He's surprised at the touch, staring down at Reiner's hand on his for a moment before finally looking back at the other boy's face. There's more than just anger there, which makes this harder, even though Eren just said he likes it better when Reiner isn't pissed at him. He meant it, but…

Well, he would take anger too. He'd just prefer that anger was something else, not something he'd gotten from a cheap stunt he never should have pulled.

He turns his hand under Reiner's and laces their fingers together. He doesn't give a shit who sees them. Who's going to see? Levi? Hange? Who fucking cares at this point? Eren's done so many stupid questionable things that they've both already had to live through (or…not live through…), what does it matter if he's sitting here holding hands for a minute?

This is the only apology he can offer, the only promise he won't immediately break. Skin on skin, his hand a little tighter than he means it to be because he's always looking for that anchor back to the present.

"You really fought with guns like that?" he ventures to ask. Even having seen soldiers in the trench where he cut off his leg, and then all around him for awhile in the span he spent trying not to lose consciousness so his leg wouldn't just grow back, he had never absorbed that. He'd been too busy, you know, fake bleeding out and screaming from how much all of it hurt. He can sort of picture how that first move works with a rifle, having held rifles in his hands. But they taught that to children.

He still hates Marley. He really, really does. He probably always will.

adds in a tw for child soldiers

[hometown]

Whatever this thing is between Reiner and Eren, it's still fragile. Still unpredictable. Still volatile. They keep proving that: clashing in one way or another, fighting each other (with words, with desires, with foam sticks) before settling into something calmer. Maybe this is just how they are now. Maybe it's how they've always been, even if the "fighting" took different forms when they were friends.

Are they friends now? Lovers? Enemies who happen to be fucking? The waves roll beneath them, tilting the balance and angles of the world. Reiner pulls his thoughts from the precipice; diving down that pit will confuse him all over again. But he keeps his hand in Eren's, welcoming the sensation of Eren's fingers lacing between his. Savoring Eren's slightly too-tight grip, the way even that makes Reiner feel wanted. Treasuring the too-warm skin that feels so perfect pressed to his own.

He's probably pathetic for finding such comfort in Eren's touch. But Reiner is pathetic for a lot of reasons. What's one more?

Reiner nods, finding nothing too odd about the question. "Yeah. Sometimes, you're too close to an enemy to pause and line up a shot. Or sometimes, you run out of ammunition. In those cases, you have to use the weapon that's available. It doesn't make sense to drop your rifle just to draw a knife."

It may sound like Reiner is parroting pieces of a lecture. He is. However, it isn't one specific lecture: these lessons were drilled into him for years, revisited every time they trained with rifles. Reiner was never an outstanding marksman—that honor belonged to Bertolt—so he paid particular attention to the other ways he might have to use his rifle. If anyone was likely to run out of ammo before killing their target, it would've been him.

His thumb absently rubs Eren's hand, unconsciously trying to soothe himself as he remembers more.

"I didn't see much combat before I got my Titan. Just a few skirmishes to make sure we could handle it." How old was he then? Eight? Nine? He can't recall. "But those moves are effective even outside of training." His gaze drifts across the horizon. "Bertolt used one to stab a Titan with a pitchfork. That move saved me, Connie, Historia … and Ymir, I guess."

Although Ymir always knew what she was. She could've transformed and escaped from that situation at any time.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren tries, in his head, to define what this is, what they are. Impossible, when he's the one fucking it up. He doesn't understand the sort of kindness Reiner still has, because Eren has never been all that kind. He's had moments. He loves so fiercely, so entirely, but he always goes too far. He's seen Reiner be ruthless, cold, dedicated to the mission. But he's seen so much else about him.

Even if he's a little crazy, maybe he won't have to regret living like the last time Eren saw him, older, at home. Eren wants that for him. He also wants to pick at scabbed over wounds because he himself cannot heal, or forgive, or move on. He's stuck in the past as much as the future; that was true long before he touched Historia's hand. What a mess, as usual.

Eren finds a different sort of comfort here. He imagines someday Reiner could understand him when no one else could. Maybe not the end of the world, but the willingness to lose himself to save other people. The oceans of blood they have created so far are still mirrors of each other; Eren has not killed the millions of people he has when Levi and Hange come from, the millions dead in his own memories of an out of order future.

They're still alike, here, where Eren is still Eren, even when he doesn't want to be.

This touch is grounding. Feet in the water, hand tight in Reiner's slightly bigger one, as smooth as his own, he cannot be anywhere else. Apparently this works in the daylight for like five minutes. He thinks he might hold too tightly and all of it will slip through his fingers like sand. He worries he'll do that on purpose.

But not today, not quite. He pulled himself back. Damage done, but it could be worse. C- for effort.

The reasoning makes sense but the delivery doesn't. Those aren't Reiner's words. Those are words hammered into him by people who saw him only as a potential weapon, not a human being.

Eren thinks of his grandfather telling his father how to be a loyal citizen even after they killed his sister. He thinks of Zeke, half-indoctrinated, pushed too far by a father who was too focused on his ideal future (haha, sound familiar?), pushed by another to sell his parents out.

His grip sure hasn't loosened.

"That's fucked up," he says, jaw clenched. "You were kids. You didn't choose that life."

Hypocrisy as usual. Eren didn't exactly choose it either. Yes, he'd wanted to join the Scouts. But he was 12 when he started. It didn't have to be that young. Anyway, at that point his other choice was pretty much "get sent to the fields to die." Not much of a choice.

Reiner's thumb moves over his hand and he tries to loosen up a little. If they were alone maybe he'd lean closer, get more contact. They're not alone and the air between them is tense. Eren knows better than to badmouth Marley to Reiner. They'll just get pissed at each other again.

In the end, Reiner deserves freedom too, maybe. Even after everything, those kids forced to be soldiers deserve to be free of Marley.

"We learned to shoot rifles," he says eventually, devoid of context. Doesn't matter much to him if Reiner has to just guess about that. "Never occurred to me to do anything else with it."

No point in saying the quiet part out loud, though. The only reason anyone trained with those guns was to kill other people, not titans.

[hometown]

Reiner's fingers twitch in Eren's grasp, the reflexive (taught, ingrained) need to defend his country rising within him. He should say it wasn't fucked up; he should say they were chosen Warriors, not mere children; he should say it was an honor bestowed upon few, and there's no way Eren could ever understand. He can feel the words forming hot on this tongue, knowing they'll come with an accusation that Eren sounds like a filthy Restorationist.

But how ridiculous would that be, accusing Eren of being a Restorationist? Eren, who spent his whole life on Paradis? Eren, who Reiner is supposed to consider an inhuman devil?

Reiner bites his tongue, trying to smother his offense. Selfishly, he doesn't want to fight again. Not right now. Not when Eren's hand is so warm in his. Not when he still feels so despicably weak for losing track of himself, even if he ultimately won the game.

Still, his fingers twitch.

"I remember those lessons," Reiner says. They weren't the first lessons Reiner had in shooting a rifle. All his hours spent practicing back home made him look better in Paradis. "They stuck out. Came in handy when we had to shoot Titans in the face once. Otherwise, they didn't seem very practical."

Not in a place where people weren't supposed to go to war with other people. Just one of the many things that didn't quite make sense about Paradis' society.

Reiner takes a breath, letting it out in a near-silent sigh. Then, finally, he releases a few of the words still sitting on his tongue:

"I chose this. You know that, right, Eren? It was my decision."

As if he could've made a fully informed decision when he was ten years old, much less when he began training at five. But even if it was a decision born from lie after lie, a desperate child chasing a dream, begging to be wanted, Reiner still has to live with the consequences. He still has to move forward.

Again and again, Reiner has made the decision to push forward. What else can he do now but more of the same?

[dreamsofwings]

Eren glances sideways, considers if he's going to answer the way he wants to, takes a breath.

"No," he says. "I mean…later. We trained to shoot people."

The earlier lessons had seemed pointless to Eren, too. Shooting titans with guns, with cannons, did any of that ever work? Not really. It was a stop gap until someone else could get behind them and take them out, most of the time. The thunderspears were effective, but he doesn't bother mentioning them. He doesn't know if Reiner's actually seen a thunderspear yet. Doesn't matter.

He doesn't elaborate on who or when or why. Who taught them to shoot guns like that? Ha, Reiner wouldn't believe him, he thinks. Marleyan turncoats, people oppressed by Marley and sympathising with Eldians. Reiner would probably be scandalised to hear that as he is now. When? Sometime before Eren tipped himself completely into madness and went behind Marley lines alone and on purpose. Why? That one's easy. You learn to shoot guns at people to kill people. People, not titans.

"Some choice," Eren answers, derisive, but not really at Reiner. He knows how few choices those kids had. It's disgusting to him, the way Marley was willing to use children, to throw away Eldian lives because they were so obsessed with keeping their own power.

"We're the same," he says, faraway for a moment, like he has said/will say to Reiner in the future. "You and me, we're exactly the same."

That's not true and he knows it. He's the worse one, willing to drown the whole world in blood. It goes so far beyond the island's shores, beyond the concept of who is good and who is evil, devils and men. Eren is the real devil, after all, just like they called him in Marley. He, too, chose something that is no choice at all, though he won't see it that way.

They're both moving forward down a path that only one of them knows the end to. Even then, though, there are questions Eren can't answer about the hideous unthinkable future. Maybe with Zeke, he could, but he hopes that Zeke never shows up here, for his own sake, for Eren's sake. For everyone's sake. He knows he's better off if they never see each other again, never talk, never touch. Together they are a death sentence.

He looks down at his hand, clasping Reiner's still. Together, they could be something terrible too, he thinks. They have to choose to be otherwise. It's a hard choice, somehow, the choice to not be a monster. He wonders if Reiner would feel the same there, too.

[hometown]

Reiner blinks, the full meaning of Eren's comment about rifles dawning. He opens his mouth, words forming on his tongue, an explanation before a flood of questions. But Reiner cuts off that explanation before it leaves his lips, silencing it and whatever would follow.

He was going to say, "I forgot." Because for a moment, Reiner did. Not who and what he is—not this time—but the simple fact that there are years stretching between their disparate times. Eren didn't wake up one day and find himself physically older with nothing in the interim. Reiner has missed years of Eren's life. Five years, a fact that resonates in Reiner, seeming too significant for a coincidence. What are the chances that Eren's mysterious years would equal the same amount of time Reiner spent in Paradis?

Reiner knows so little of what happened during those five years. He can guess, putting together a rough outline from context clues, piecing together the puzzle one oddity at a time. He could do more than just guess: he could actively seek answers, starting with questioning Gabi. But would that answer what happened to Eren?

"Now I keep living," Eren said back at the food court, eating ramen on what might've been their first date. A vague answer before a more revealing one: "We learned the truth after that."

The truth. A dangerous thing at the best of times. Something Reiner spent five years carefully avoiding divulging.

Is that truth why Eren and the others had to learn how to shoot people? Dread coils in Reiner's gut, the suspicion that he could've failed so categorically sending a cold chill through his body. Is there a full-scale war looming in the future?

Then Eren keeps speaking, saying that they're the same. Reiner sits motionless, his head turned to watch Eren, studying the other boy's profile. Trying to piece together what Eren means. Trying to understand why Eren would say such a thing when he knows precisely what a horrible person Reiner is.

No, not even a person. That's what Eren said mere months ago for Reiner, the words still ringing clearly in Reiner's head: "You two aren't even human anymore!!" Why would Eren call them the same after that? What happened during those five years?

"Eren…," Reiner starts, then trails off, watching Eren looking down at their joined hands. He wants to ask what Eren means by saying such a thing. But for some reason, he thinks of asking Bertolt, "What do you mean, 'Warrior'?" Is the answer hovering just out of Reiner's grasp, as it was back then? Would Eren only stare at him in silence as Bertolt did?

In the end, Reiner voices none of his questions. He only squeezes Eren's hand, still watching Eren's face, gold eyes searching for something just beyond his grasp.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren could spill some of it, messy and angry, like he had a half-cocked plan to when they talked in the food court. That sure as hell hadn't gone how he'd thought, and now there was a shift, and something was different. He wanted to hurt with that cheap ass attack during the game. He doesn't want to cut any deeper, not now. It's selfish to tell Reiner what happens and it's selfish to keep it to himself. There are no good choices.

He stares off at the horizon, the water stretching on. It's not anywhere near as far across this ocean-lake as even the trip to Marley proper was. But from here, he can't see that. There's just water and sky.

He thinks of the first time, everyone running around in the water. All he could feel was dread, knowing what would happen and not being able to explain how or why or when. He could drift away into that day. Everything changed that day, though it had already changed. But the world was suddenly so much wider in a tangible way. Reading about it in his father's journal was different. Even his fucked up memories that knew better were different.

Standing there in the ocean, all he could think about was death. That's all it's been for years, death and more death until there is no one left to die, or until Eren himself dies.

If you want to stop me, you'll have to stop me breathing.

He opens his mouth to say…well, who knows what. He closes it again.

Reiner says his name and the present sits in stark relief against the future/past. This is not their ocean. There are no enemies here. The only enemy here is next to him, their fingers interlaced. Eren doesn't want him to be anywhere else.

We can be something different.

As in Folkmore, Eren lives with the terrifying question, though: what if he can't? What if he can only be a monster? It's not as if you get to come back from genocide. Sure, sure, he hasn't actually done it, walked through it, lived it. But he's lived it a million times in the past couple of years, the parts of it that he knows so well. And the truth of it: he would do it anyway. If he goes home, it still happens. Even thinking about it, given a choice, he knows he would make the same one over and over again, so that the handful of people he loves too much could be free. Reiner, too. In the end, if he lives through it, won't he get to be free too?

What do you want to be? Reiner had asked him. Alive, he had said, and it was one of the truest things he's said in ages.

"We all made shitty choices," he finally says, which is also true. "We were born in a world that didn't want to give us choices at all. We were born in cages, both of us."

That is not what he meant when he called them the same, something Reiner can probably discern, but it is something he believes. The contempt for those cages drips from his voice, sits in the lines of his face, here and not here, staring at a memory as much as the skyline in front of them.

He feels Reiner's hand squeeze his again and he pulls himself out of it, looking sideways again, anger slipping away from him as he wills it to. His hair is still a mess, clinging to his face in wet pieces. He finally uses his free hand to push some of it back.

"I don't wanna sit here anymore," he says.

[hometown]

In the silence before Eren speaks, Reiner continues to watch Eren's profile, turning those inexplicable words over and over in his mind. We're the same. You and me, we're exactly the same. Their meaning continues to elude Reiner, hovering just beyond reach. What presses in instead are those five mysterious years, at least part of which Eren spent in a different world. Reiner holds Eren's hand, and he wonders (again and again and again) what happened to Eren to change him so drastically.

Truthfully, everyone from their world has changed. Historia has changed, the girl Reiner knew as "Krista" fading from sight. Jean and Mikasa have changed, their years spent in other worlds leaving indelible marks. Levi and Hange have changed: Levi physically, Hange in rank, both in knowledge. And Gabi… Gabi was just a kid. She's supposed to be eight years old, not within spitting distance of Reiner's age. She's supposed to be safe in Liberio, not making friends with Scouts.

Yet those changes make sense to Reiner, more or less. There are some he doesn't understand, mainly concerning events and attitudes. (Why is Hange willing to give him a chance? What "important role" does Levi believe Reiner has to play? How the fuck did Gabi start thinking of Levi as her "best friend"?) However, the passage of time accounts for most changes, leaving Reiner feeling uninformed but not bewildered.

Eren is a different story. Next to all the others, Eren sticks out like a sore thumb, the changes in him far too drastic to be blamed on time alone. What the hell happened? What turned the boy who only thought about revenge into the young man holding Reiner's hand, saying that they're the same?

Eren speaks again. The words strike like Zeke's boulders, peeling away armor with each impact. Reiner's fingers twitch again, his hand squeezing, holding Eren's a little tighter.

Shitty choices. No choices at all. Born in cages, the both of them.

Reiner stares at Eren, his throat tight. Thinking of his mother crying as she told him the secret of his paternity, her wish that he'd been born to a Marleyan. Thinking of walls topped with barbed wire, guards with guns they weren't afraid to use. Thinking of the years he spent sweating, bleeding, and fighting for a red armband. Thinking of Marcel, of Annie, of Bertolt. Shiganshina, Wall Maria, the Training Corps, Trost, Marco. Standing atop Wall Rose explaining things to Eren, genuinely believing that Eren might go with them willingly. Waiting atop Wall Maria months later, knowing it was just a matter of time until he would have to kill his friends.

Eren looks over at him, eyes drawing Reiner in as surely as the ocean could swallow him whole. The people on the beach may as well be nonexistent. There is only Eren's face. Only Eren's eyes. Only Eren's hand held tightly in Reiner's. Only their bodies swaying with the waves, moved by a force beyond their control.

Impulsively, Reiner reaches out with his free hand, brushing more hair away from Eren's face. He tucks a stray, wet lock behind Eren's ear, his fingers a little clumsy; it's not something Reiner is used to doing. (So much of this is beyond his experience. What's one more thing?) His fingertips linger on Eren's cheek for a second too long, memories of cupping Eren's face in the dark pushing to the forefront of Reiner's mind.

Then Reiner drops his arm, his other hand loosening its grip on Eren's.

"Will you let me help you swim back?" Reiner asks, expecting a refusal. He offers anyway.

[dreamsofwings]

If Eren stopped to think for a second, he'd realise he's probably gone too far, said too much. But does it really matter? He knows he's different. Reiner hasn't (yet) seen him completely shut down, quiet and haunted and matter-of-fact instead of threatening, pseudo-helpful and then an explosion of lightning. Younger Eren was all screams, all tells, easy to read and easy to push. Eren now…well.

He can feel Reiner staring at him. He wonders idly what the other boy must see, not just his long hair and sharper lines, baby roundness gone from his face, still-wide green eyes looking at the horizon like there's something there to look at. He doesn't know what people see when they look at him. A monster, he thinks, but Reiner doesn't know him as one yet. As always, though, Eren doesn't give other people enough credit.

When he looks at Reiner, Reiner reaches out and pushes his hair back, still wet. That would have been futile when he was younger, but now that wet lock stays. It's a bit messy, but maybe that's just a metaphor for how things are with them.

He might be leaning just slightly into Reiner's touch before it drops away again. He forces his fingers to uncurl, to let go, though they're still touching.

His eyebrows pull together in a frown.

"What makes you think I need help?"

[hometown]

Reiner blinks. Blinks again. He opens his mouth to point out the obvious: Eren's lack of a life jacket, earlier flailing in the water, and inexperience swimming in the ocean. But what comes out instead is … laughter.

It isn't mean or mocking laughter. It's just laughter. Reiner's shoulders shake with it, his face lit up, gold eyes crinkling at the corners. For a second, he probably looks like what he is: a young man on the edge of eighteen, charmed by someone for whom he cares. For a second, it's no more complicated than that.

It's just so like Eren to stay stubborn until the bitter end. Even after that earlier (cruel, humiliating) stunt and the weight of unsaid things between them, Reiner can't help but laugh.

Then he rolls his eyes and shifts forward, slipping into the water. He ducks beneath the surface and swims beneath the inflatable beam, coming up a few feet from Eren's knee.

"Come on, then," he challenges, water dripping from his hair.

[dreamsofwings]

A frown settles on Eren's face, eyebrows pulled together. He almost gets actually mad about it, Reiner's laughter. It's not mocking, but Eren doesn't like feeling like he's being laughed at. But…

But the whole thing is pretty fucking stupid and he knows that. He can't laugh himself, though. Does he remember how, when he's not being a lunatic trying to pull it together and failing? Apparently not. Someday, maybe. Not today.

"Shut the fuck up," he grumbles.

He settles for rolling his eyes right back as Reiner moves away from him. He looks back in time to see Reiner disappear, then reappear on Eren's side of the beam.

He shoves off the beam himself, into the water. It's still weird, the pull of the ocean. Sure, this is all fake, but it feels real enough — especially to someone who's only stood in the ocean as a human being, like, twice. Also, was Eren that strong a swimmer to begin with? He's not even sure; it's been years since he actually swam any distance. He knew how as a kid, and he's pretty good at remembering things like that when he needs to. Somewhere in his fucked up head there's others who must have known how. That won't make him great at this.

If he was younger, he might make this a challenge too, demanding a race. He doesn't, though. Lesson very temporarily learned about hubris, at least with ocean shit. He just swims to catch up with Reiner as best he can. He's not awful, so he's managing, but he's not as adept as Reiner is. Maybe he could use help, but like hell he's going to admit that to anyone including himself.

[hometown]

Predictably, Reiner lingers until Eren catches up, treading water with the skill of someone who has plenty of experience swimming in waves. Of course, it's been a while since Reiner has done so before today, just as it's been a while since he practiced melee combat with a rifle. (He's far better than he used to be, although he doesn't know it. Brute force makes a big difference.) However, they aren't lessons readily forgotten—even when they get confused in Reiner's head.

What else has gotten confused in Reiner's head? There's no way for him to know. No way to tell until it untangles itself, his self-deception laid plain. He hopes he hasn't forgotten or twisted anything too significant.

Disregarding Eren's demand that he shut the fuck up, Reiner soon speaks again.

"You know," he says as they swim toward shore, keeping pace with Eren, "helping you swim would just mean having my arms around you for a bit. Not that you need it."

He glances at Eren, more to see the other boy's reaction than out of any hope that Eren will allow it. Maybe Reiner would have a better shot under different circumstances, renewing the contact his body already misses, the water feeling cooler than ever against his too-warm skin. As it is, the shore isn't far away.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren can swim, but in the clumsy way of a kid who taught himself how. He doesn't flounder or choke and that's good enough, but he couldn't keep up with Reiner's actual smooth strokes if he tried. Good thing he didn't do something like challenge Reiner to a race.

"Yeah, you wish," is all Eren says, but if there's some telltale colour on his face at the thought, he pretends it's not there. He looks young for a second, younger than he already looks, expression wavering between irritation and something he won't acknowledge. He thinks of Reiner against him. What would that feel like in the water? He's not going to find out today, too proud and stubborn.

Finally he can just put his feet down and walk (stomp?) the rest of the way to the shore. His pants slow him down, heavy and wet, threatening to slide off until he catches his waistband with a hand. He makes a note to get shorts if he has to swim anywhere again.

He glances back. Even through his annoyance at losing, he's still got room to notice Reiner, the way the water runs along the planes of muscle in his chest as he comes to the shore, off his shoulders, hair turned gold in the afternoon sunlight.

[hometown]

Reiner tries (and mostly fails) to keep a smug smile from tugging at his lips, pleased by the color that alights on Eren's cheeks. Apparently, Eren isn't the only one whose words can plant ideas in the other boy's mind. The situation is entirely different, the revenge barely qualifying as such, painting thoughts of desire instead of twisting a knife. Still, Reiner is strangely satisfied.

Eren hurt him. Eren still wants him. Eren likes this more when they're not angry with each other. Eren thinks that he and Reiner are the same.

Reiner will ruminate on those thoughts in the days (weeks? months?) to come.

They reach the shore, Reiner's gaze catching on the small of Eren's back as those water-laden trousers nearly drop. Saltwater droplets shine in the sun, diamonds on Eren's skin, and fuck, Reiner wants to lick them off. He pulls his eyes away as he gets his feet under him, his own exit from the water considerably more dignified thanks to his attire. But he looks back in time to notice Eren noticing him, and he can't help looking pleased.

He likes that Eren finds him attractive. He likes the idea that Eren wants him even more. For now, Reiner doesn't examine that too closely.

"We should have a rematch sometime," Reiner says, as if he didn't mop the floor with Eren in nearly every bout. Reiner means it as more than just water jousting, though he doesn't say it outright. He just lets the words hang, his desire for a future competition plain.

[dreamsofwings]

Reiner's revenge is much softer than Eren's, but that tracks. Eren has always been brutal, though Reiner does not yet have any idea just how far he'll go. There's only the barest hint, the way Eren turns cold, the way his voice goes flat, the way he picks something that will hurt the most without ever swinging a fist. Of course he's still violent; his promise to Levi to be better doesn't make him some sort of pacifist. His words, though, are less likely to be screamed like an explosion and more likely to be targeted like sniper bullets.

Reiner looks pleased when Eren looks at him. Even if he's not forgiven for that shit he pulled a few minutes ago, they're not…too bad off, he thinks. Surprisingly, that's a relief. He didn't fuck this up entirely. Reiner shouldn't forgive him. He hopes he doesn't; that would be worse, actually. But even with all of it, they're still…

Something. He has no idea what, and any word he assigns is wrong. They're just something.

He almost doesn't answer that last remark, but of course in the end he can't just shut up.

"I'm not gonna lose next time," he says, nonsensically, since obviously they're not talking about this exact game. Whatever awaits them in the future, whatever they decide to compete on, could be just as one-sided and he knows that. He says it anyway, though.

He lingers a moment longer before he finally forces himself to look away. If he stays here like this, he'll grant Reiner that request to touch, though they're not in the water now. He's still too sore about losing to want to give in.

"I'm gonna go dry off," he says. Without waiting for an answer, he turns and heads back up the beach towards wherever towels are.