semi-open 💐 I had to fall to lose it all

[acquirement]

WHO: Ayato, Kaveh and anyone with relevant CR
WHAT: Post-Death catch all
WHEN: June 1st onwards
WHERE: Multi places
WARNINGS: CW for death & trauma



{ ooc: feel free to add top levels for certain things in here, we just thought it'd be good to keep it all in one place! }

Comments

[acquirement]

{ to be fair, he won't tell any of them the details if they don't ask. if only because that feels like pushing too much on them without... consent. }

Ayaka, you don't need to apologise. { he places his cup back on the table and holds his hand out for her, in case she wants to take it. }

If I'm honest... I didn't want you to know until I was back for this very reason. If there is anything I can do to alleviate your worries or pain, let me know.

{ because he's always willing to bear her burdens as well as his own- }

[mistsplitter]

N- No, please...

[ Ayaka shakes her head, quickly removing the tears away before sitting down proper, hands back on her lap. She's the one who's supposed to be helping him, comforting him, yet here she is... ]

I will be alright. [ Closing her eyes for a moment, she forces a smile and places her hands back around her tea cup. I will be alright, she tells herself again before looking back at Ayato. ] I must think of something we all can do...

Something that won't require too much energy.

[acquirement]

{ he frowns }

I don't want you to force yourself for my sake. { funny, because she could easily return that and it be equally as valid. }

But perhaps we could try movies again? I shouldn't fall asleep this time at least.

[mistsplitter]

[ Ayaka says nothing more about that. She must do whatever she can to help Ayato. ]

I suppose we could do that. A movie takes some time to finish, so it will be a good way to pass the time... I'll have to clean up the table outside.

[ Considering all the ink marks there. ]

[acquirement]

{ he doesn't sigh, but he wants to. but he also knows when she's set her mind on something it's impossible to stop her. }

We should probably bring in blankets and pillows too.

[mistsplitter]

I do not know if that would be wise. We don't wish to fall asleep.

[ They could pass out if they're too comfortable!! ]

[acquirement]

{ he hesitates, visibly, and then considers what to say to that. he had been about to tell her that perhaps if they--ayaka, cloud and thoma--did, they likely needed it, but he wouldn't have that issue as he's blocking it. but that would only make her worry worsen. }

Very well. Is there anything else we may need?

[mistsplitter]

That may be all.

[ Ones that she can think of, anyway. ]

I'll prepare what else is needed, once Thoma and Cloud are awake.

[acquirement]

{ he nods at that, then blows on his tea before taking another sip. at least tea settles his stomach a bit. not enough to make him ready to eat just yet, but it's better than a few hours ago. }

What time is it now?

[mistsplitter]

It is almost 6:30.

[ Ayaka really did get up early!! ]

[acquirement]

Thank you. There's likely still a while before Thoma will wake up then, at least. I don't think he's been sleeping well, and likely needs longer rest. It was quite late when I... got back.

[mistsplitter]

[ It's a little too late to ask why Ayato didn't wake her up when he got back. Not that it would do any good now... Ayaka has to do better from now on, so that her brother can trust her with more things. She really has a lot of growing up to do, still.

It doesn't make her feel any better, though, knowing someone had not been doing well when she should have been there for them. ]

We must make him as comfortable as possible, when he's awake.

[acquirement]

{ this was nothing to do with trust, at least not in this case, it was ensuring thoma didn't pass out while standing up after carrying him back and being so obviously tired. it's probably why most of it hadn't properly hit him until he'd been laid down in bed staring at the wall and having nothing to do but think.

he nods at her remark though, and really there's more he needs to apologise for. his hand picks at the edge of the teacup before he pulls back hands away. he isn't bringing up how it happened yet, but. }

There is something else I need to tell you that I should clarify first as well, Ayaka. { he takes a deep breath } And if it's upsetting, or makes you angry, please direct that at me.

{ he lets that hang in the air, only for a moment, and before she can protest or ask why he'll continue. }

Thoma knew beforehand, which is why he was there waiting in the middle of the night for me. I asked him... not to tell you until I was back. I phoned him when I knew it was inevitable. After Kaveh had... { he trails off, doesn't finish that. } I didn't want either of you to go looking for us. All I can offer is apologies, perhaps it was incredibly selfish, but the idea of ensuring that would not happen to you was all I could think of in my last moments.

{ and he's saying this now because it isn't fair on thoma to play pretend either. not when it comes to this. }

[mistsplitter]

[ Contrary to popular belief, Ayaka is actually capable of feeling upset and angry at people. It's not very often that she feels emotions like this, however, and those rare moments that she does, she even feels bad for it.

Ayato is her brother, though, and even though she may pout and be disappointed that her brother doesn't get enough rest or doesn't eat on time, she could never truly be upset with him. And yet. . . ]

It... is upsetting. [ But that's all she can bear to admit. Even thinking of continuing that thought hurts her, constricts her heart in her chest, and makes everything so difficult to bear.

She no longer cries, at least. Not now. Perhaps when she is alone. ]

Your return and Thoma's well-being are more important, however.

[acquirement]

{ he's watching her carefully to see her response, and it isn't a relief that she doesn't get upset with him, because he has to wonder how much of it she's internalising. he knows on some level that what he did was wrong, but not being able to be there when she learned of it felt wrong.

and maybe that should be a sign he has been overprotective and not given her room to struggle through certain things, but why would he put her through that if he had a chance not to? }

Nothing is more important than you, Ayaka. Please don't say otherwise.

[mistsplitter]

[ Ayaka finds herself at a loss, unsure of what to even say to that. She understands her brother, but she cannot seem to put her personal feelings aside despite everything that has happened... She hopes he will let her take some time to mend this heartache.

And she hopes he will excuse her for no longer commenting on it, instead changing the subject. ]

I know you said you aren't hungry at this time, but would you like me to make some onigiri? When you'd like to eat, it shall be there, at least even for a small bite.

[ He could get sick, otherwise, if he doesn't eat! ]

[acquirement]

{ he won't say anything else on the matter when she moves the conversation on. he looks away again as she brings food back up, and it's too soon to think of it, so he won't in too much detail and makes a simple request. }

I suppose if it's plain... it may be all right.

[mistsplitter]

I will make them small, and I will not make too much.

[ She'll finish up her tea first, though, then she'll excuse herself so she can get to work. At least it'll still be in the kitchen, so Ayato is still with her! ]

[acquirement]

Thank you.

{ he appreciates her concern at least, and willingness to not overwhelm him with it to start. she'll likely feel his eyes on her as she prepares things, even if he's quiet, it's likely a sign that he hasn't zoned out. }