seasonsrpg | [Open Log] I end up holding onto those dreams

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[Open Log] I end up holding onto those dreams

WHO: Makoto Naegi & anyone
WHAT: Makoto returns after dying and canon updating
WHEN: Evening of August 2nd onwards
WHERE: Winter Flower Yard, Welcome Center
WARNINGS: possible death talk, killing game talk, descriptions crazy despair in the threads (will add to headers when necessary)

Winter Flower yard: Closed to Mukuro (

corpsewarblade)

After his unfortunate death against his Ultimate Despair Reflection, Naegi was sent to his flower to revive. Instead of just a peaceful rest, his mind was experiencing his future. Leaving Hope's Peak Academy, joining the Future Foundation. Dealing with the Remnants of Despair. Facing Junko again, even if she was just a computer program.

If that wasn't enough, he was forced into another killing game. Another desperate fight between hope and despair. Hope won, even if it came with great sacrifices.

Even if a long time went by at home, only three whole days go by while he's in the giant White Iris. Now Naegi is ready to come out. He's wearing the white clothes that he had in the beginning and looks healthy, even if a little older.

Welcome Center

After a few days of getting his thoughts in order, consoling Mukuro and making sure his Pokémon were alright, Naegi returns to the Welcome Center. It felt weird, now, coming back with what he has experienced so much. At the same time it was also soothing to be able to just go back to working with Ellipsa things again.

It's very likely to find Naegi reading some files or writing some notes -- basically doing some boring, mundane things. But if anyone walks into the lobby he looks up with a smile.

"Welcome."

Wildcard

Naegi will most likely reach out to his CR to just ask them how they're doing or just talk in general, grateful for their existence here. If you want to discuss a custom thread, you can poke me through DMs, through the Seasons Unofficial Discord or

sasageyo!

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makoto-kun!!!
I didn'tsee you at any of the parties the past couple days and I thought maybe you went home since no one said anything but then I heard you died????

[Now that she mentiones it, there were quite a few parties going on. He did hear something about the world being better now, even if he had yet to ask about details due to overhwelming.]

Unfortunately, yes. I had an unfortunate encounter with my reflection. I'm fine now, though.

I don't think dying is fine! Are you really okay? Do you need stuff? I don't actually know what you do when someone dies and comes back, with Neechan I just hugged her a lot and gave her something I was gonna give her anyway and then got her a pizza...

Uh, no, dying's not fine, but I meant I'm physically okay. Mentally... well, I went home and have a lot of things to sort through along with what happened that caused my death.

I wouldn't say no to pizza though.

It sounds like a lot of stuff happened, huh... I can come to get you wherever you are, though! If pizza will help, then that's what we can do!

[Well, it will help his hunger, at least.]

I'm currently finishing up some paperwork at the Welcome Center.

Coming!!

[Rinku does run in within the next 15 minutes, with Mecchan perched on her shoulder clinging tightly. After having run around asking, she finds his office and knocks.]

Makoto-kun! This one's yours, right?

Come in, it's open.

[He finishes up a few documents before starting to organize them.]

It's good to see you again, Rinku-chan.

[Rinku comes in with a wave. She pauses, blinks, and tilts her head.]

Uh... Did you get way older? Can that happen? It was just a couple days here...

Oh... I went home while I was in the flower. Apparently that's something that happens.

But you went home for that long?! That must've been years!

Mukuro had set up her tent at the flower yard... she had a luxury one, yes, but she didn't feel worth anything like that. So instead, she'd brought one more akin to what she'd been used to in her military days. A shelter pitched by the fences, patterned white and grey canvas so it blended in with the snow, with a simple sleeping bag and pack for her rations inside.

And there she waited, nibbling at said rations and trying to make sense of everything that had happened.

Of a Makoto that acted so much like her beloved Junko. Of shooting that Makoto down- that almost felt like she was killing him herself or killing her sister again- Of being too late to save the one she cared about. Again. Again and again.

Useless disappointment. Her talent was supposed to be her one redeeming feature, wasn't it? And that wasn't enough.

Since Avalon... she was always the one who lived with the despair of failing them.

That should be a good thing, shouldn't it? The despair she had given Junko with her own death at the hands of Gungnir, she was now feeling it for herself, over and over. Something like that. That was a good thing, wasn't it? She was one of the Despair Sisters, once upon a time, so bringing all of it down on herself was... what? Something she wanted? A righteous punishment? Prove of her own worthlessness?

Wth her despair, she could feel every little movement in the ground.

That's right, it heightened her Seasonal powers too, didn't it? Perhaps that was why, even though she'd tuned out the world around her to a blank static, she still felt the movement when his flower sent him out.

Movement...

Movement?

Movement- wait, she had been waiting for that...!

Thankfully, her body had moved before her mind had caught up, and she had already rushed over to the flower. Maybe it was those old combat instincts kicking in? By the time she realised what she was seeing, there was Makoto. In those same white robes as they all wore when they first arrived.

He looked different. Older, maybe...still a little shorter than her, but yes, definitely older now? Then again, nothing felt quite right. Not even the sound of her own voice.

"Hey..."

But, she knew for certain that it was him.

Edited 2024-08-02 22:21 (UTC)

Perhaps he shouldn't be surprised there was a certain someone waiting for him on his return. Judging from the camping equipment, she'd been there for a while, too. He can't blame her, though, he would have likely spend the time waiting for her, too, if things were reversed.

He's glad they aren't. Mukuro didn't need more death. Of course he wished he hadn't died either, but he doesn't regret saving that civilian either.

Without saying anything at first, Makoto closes the distance and hugs Mukuro. It's both to his own benefit and hers, since he needed something to prove himself he was really back. And honestly, with the last few days he's had he really needed this.

"I'm back. Thank you for waiting for me."

He's a little bit bolder than before, which is probably good considering how awkward of a couple they have been about showing affection. Though he'll still get easily flustered, really.

The hug was very much needed for her, too. It was warm, grounding, something she could hold on to- something that made her feel real for the first time in days.

It took a few moments for her body to move, but then she hugged him tight- perhaps a little too tight for comfort- as her shoulders started to tremble.

"...I'm sorry-"

Mukuro owed him that apology, at least. There was so much she needed to apologise to him for, but most importantly, she had failed to save him.

All the same... he was still thanking her?

It is a little tight, but he doesn't mind. It's clear she needs it.

"Don't apologize. You did everything you could", Naegi assures her, petting her hair lightly. "I should have relied on you and other people more, than try to do it on my own."

He would always rush in to fight despair, wouldn't he? That was the sort of person he was. One of the things she liked about him.

"I should have taken him out quicker..." but the argument didn't have much energy behind it, his touch and words working quickly to sap those unpleasant feelings from spiralling around inside her. And when she spoke next, her voice sounded a little lighter; "...Um- is 'welcome back' the right thing to say?"

Something was different, though- but she was so dissociated that she didn't really pick up on it, at first. It was only as she started to ground herself that the little inconsistencies started to click into place. Things that didn't just feel different, things that were different.

If she would insist on arguing about being at fault, Makoto would be relentless and not let her go down that path. But she seemed... tired, so that would be for another day.

"I'm back", he answered, instead. "I'll do my best to not leave you again."

Squinting at him- staring-

"Why do you look more like a grown-up than you did before?"

Asking all the important questions here, Mary! She came by the Welcome Center fairly often, Naegi was one of the first friends she made in this world, after all. Therefore she had to come and bother him.

Her droopy-eared Mimikyu, Mimi, followed close behind her.

Naegi laughs a little, both awkward and amused.

"Is it that easy to notice? I don't feel like I've changed all that much."

He was still short. "I just went home for a bit."

On the plus side, he was still taller than this nine-year-old. ~~Did that make him feel any better? Probably not.~~

"You went home?" Mary pulled a face. "Why would you want to do that? I don't know why anyone would."

...Then again, most people weren't like her, were they?

"It wasn't by choice", Naegi says. He doesn't intend to tell her he died, that would likely be too much to handle. "It's one of those things where people just disappear for a few days and then come back."

The part of if he wants to go home or not is... honestly very complicated. He had a life waiting there, a future they fought so hard for. But here he had Mukuro.

Oh, so he didn't choose to go back... then, it were possible to just disappear one day and go back to where they came from? Her blue eyes widened, shadow warping like a crayon's scribble for just a moment-

"...was it scary? Did you get hurt?" A step forward, staring up at him for answers.

"It was scary, but I was with friends who helped me through the scary stuff. I'm fine, Mary. I'll be fine", he says confidently and puts a hand on her head. "Don't worry about it."

"That's good...it's sad being somewhere scary without anyone to talk to. Do you have lots of friends at home?" A little smile as she got a pat on the head- a reassurance that he was alright.

[Between the dragon errands, the fulminant flight of the dragons, and the temporary disappearance of his precious mentee, Hijikata's been on an absolute emotional rollercoaster over the course of the last week or two. When he passes by the Welcome Centre after once again delivering some oddities from the Segments to the Research Centre, he decides to dip in and catch up with the boy - only to do a double take at his matured appearance.]

Well, damn, Makoto-kun. And here I thought Jean had a growth spurt!

[In fairness, Makoto didn't shoot up to Jean's height - not even remotely -, but it's equally sudden!]

[Hijikata, please. Naegi shakes his head slightly.]

Actually, I didn't grow at all. I may have aged, but I suppose I'll continue being short.

[His voice sounds a little more mature, too, but not too much to be a huge difference.]

[Hijikata snorts at that. At least one of them doesn't shoot up on me like bamboo! But he quickly turns serious again. After all, Makoto still grew up age-wise. Which means...]

You must've been sent back home. I hope it wasn't too grueling.

[Maybe it wasn't grueling at all. Maybe he spent a few years just living a normal, happy life! But given the precedent around here, what are the chances?]

[Normal, happy life? In Danganronpa? Sounds fake.]

I'll have to disappoint you by saying it was bad.

[But, first things first.]

Did Mukuro tell you what happened? Here, I mean.

[He knew it!! But it still sucks to have confirmed! Regarding Mukuro, though...]

I haven't been able to catch up with her yet since we found the dragons. Is she alright?

[He can't help but tense up. Mukuro has experienced quite a lot of hardship during her time here, from watching him and Jean die to having that argument with him that affected her so badly... now she had to suffer the loss of Makoto, temporary as it was, and the way he asked implies that even worse may have gone down.]

[Well, that makes sense. He and Mukuro have been spending quite a lot of time together ever since he came back and before that she had been camping at the flower yard.]

She's... No. I don't think she is, even if she's trying to seem like it. After all, she was forced to watch me die in her arms. Even if she was there to help, she couldn't save me. Which I don't blame on her at all, but I know she's likely...

[It feeds her despair. The despair she might still be craving at the back of her head. The despair that feels wrong, but also so right. After all, she spent so many years as one of the Ultimate Despair sisters.]

Please offer her whatever support you can. I've been doing what I can, but I'm also the main cause she's hurting, right now.

[Well, damn. That's even worse than he expected.]

What exactly happened? How'd you die?

[Each loved one's death seems to get crueler for Mukuro. She couldn't have done anything to prevent him from getting eating far away from the city, but she saw Jean fall right in front of her eyes, just out of reach... and now, she presumably got to dispatch who- or whatever killed Makoto, only to have him die on her, without any healing powers to save his life.]

[Naegi gestures Hijikata to sit down on the lobby couches, as he also makes his way there, so they can talk more 'comfortably'. At least something nice about this.]

Well... my reflection came out of a mirror. At first I thought it was a normal doppelganger, but it turned out he was my opposite. A version of me if I had been the Ultimate Despair.

[It wasn't outright said he was, but it was likely he had also been the Mastermind of the killing game. A thought that made him sick to his stomach, being the one who orchestrated his friends' deaths.]

He kidnapped a bunch of civilians and threatened to blow them up. I managed to get the bombs and save most of the civilians with Mukuro's help, but... one of them was slower than the others. So I shielded them from my reflection and got stabbed instead.

[He really, really should have listed more people to help, but he didn't want to risk anyone's lives dealing with someone who acted like Junko. He wouldn't have even asked Mukuro if she hadn't happened to run into him.]

Mukuro killed the reflection and tried to help me, but it was too late.

[[Hijikata's expression turns more and more grim as Makoto explains. So not only did he get the worst kind of reflection, but said doppelgänger went rogue in the city and involved innocent civilians in his chaos spree - that'd already have been a complete shitshow even without the emotional gut punch of it being one's own worst self. He exhales, then puts an arm around Makoto's shoulders, giving the far one a solid squeeze. After all this time, he knows that sometimes a bit simple physical support goes a long way.]

That all happened while the expedition was still out there?

[So there were few otherworlders left who would have helped the boy deal with the situation... Hijikata understands that he didn't want to endanger locals. Dealing with the Mastermind is no joke, what with how unhinged and unpredictably sado-masochistic Junko was.]

You did well, Makoto-kun. When it's between us and a native, we've always got to be their shield.

[He's not going to give him grief about not having utilised his seasonal powers more wisely to save himself as well - Makoto isn't a combatant, despite everything he's been through back home. He can't be expected to react like one in a life-or-death situation. Mukuro, though... it must be eating her up all the more that even she, the Ultimate Soldier, wasn't able to make a difference, even though she took the reflection out.]

If you want, we can practise some defense techniques so you'll have a better chance if something like that ever happens again. You winter power holders have some good options at your disposal.

[Naegi nods. Death for natives was permanent, after all. He did what he could to prevent that happening for them. He doesn't have regrets about it... just regrets that it had to end up with death to traumatize Mukuro.

At the offer of practice he smiles, though.]

That would probably be a good idea. I've gotten good at magic, but I'm still useless when it comes to self-defense.

[Hijikata smiles faintly, squeezing Makoto's shoulder once more.]

Not for much longer, not if I can help it. We'll turn you into the Ultimate Defender!

[Because his luck clearly isn't cutting it... although perhaps that was just because his opponent was himself.]

[ When she spots Naegi at the coffee shop that they planned to meet at, she can't help but make a rather half-hearted comment: ]

You know, when I think about people getting their growth spurts quickly I didn't mean for them to do the time warp in the span of a couple of weeks.

[ Inaba... ]

[Naegi replies with a slightly awkward laugh.]

I've been getting that a lot. Though it took more than that, I'm afraid.

Well, that should already be obvious. [ Inaba shrugs her shoulders. ] Was it bad, back home?

[Naegi nods, sighing softly.]

I watched another killing game take place and then participated in another.

[Despite being in a virtual world, the killing game was very much real. Luckily the participants were saved, but it was not pleasant.]

I did come out alive, but... so many people lost.

[And these ones wouldn't come back, except for Kirigiri, who was saved by a miracle medicine.]

That's going to take more than just a cup of coffee to talk about...

[ She's going to need several desserts, too. ]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that sort of shit again.

You can get anything, it's on me. ... but we don't have to talk about it. I guess I just needed to hang out with someone who understands? If that makes sense.

You sure?

[ She raises a brow curiously - she doesn't exactly mind getting treated out, as someone who enjoys free things, but... ]

Well, if you need to talk about it, I don't mind. I'm used to it, and honestly, at this point... I doubt there's anything that's really going to get to me in terms of that sort of thing.

I'm sure. I don't use a lot of moon coins, so I can treat people occasionally.

[It's not for that purpose he's saving money, but it's a bonus.]

I suppose talking about it would help at least with some of my unease. Just to get the frustration out, I suppose. About the state of the world and the people behind these things.

I'll take your kind offer, then.

[ She answers appreciatively. ]

Sometimes, venting helps. And you can get a second perspective on things in general.

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[Open Log] I end up holding onto those dreams

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Winter Flower Yard (tw despair/dissociation)

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Welcome Center (have the little one too)

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