seasonsrpg | [Closed Log] Fireflies are stars that couldn't journey to the skies

Watching everyone running around and having a good time is just part of what makes the scene magical, Armin agrees. This place can be beautiful - maybe more beautiful than their world can ever be, even if it hurts to think that way.

"Do you think they're happy in there...? If fireflies can even feel something like that. Probably not, huh?"

Meaning that they probably can't feel things like that, not that they probably aren't happy.

He feels young and foolish for all of it - something he would have thought when he was much younger than he is now - but it's nice to feel like a normal kid again after everything they've been through (if he ever could have really considered himself that in the first place).

[ Levi sees it out of the corner of his good eye -- the way the kid holds his jar in a similar manner. It seems they're both just as fascinated by the lights - Levi because it's new to him, and because it makes him think of all those times watching the sky with friends no longer here, and Armin... perhaps because he's fascinated by everything, each new thread of the world they get to unravel, driven by curiosity rather than violence... okay, maybe with a dash of unsettling exposition now and then. ]

I see.

[ It makes sense. When he thinks about it, Levi doesn't know if he's happy with the idea of confining those little stars to a glass prison like this, either. They seem happy... he knows he wouldn't like being caged, though. The container is so small, nothing at all like the vast night sky. ]

[ But they have an upcoming expedition, too, and supposedly the makeshift magical lanterns may be important for it. After a moment of consideration, he holds out his jar toward Armin, apparently offering it to him, while opening his other hand for the empty one in return. ]

It's supposed to help you on the mission. But after that, we could come back here and release them.

[ If he even wants company for something like that, that is. He's free to do whatever, but Levi would come with, if he'd like. As much as the thought of just keeping such a lamp in his room brings him joy, he can't help but wonder whether the fireflies would actually be happy about it, or slowly lose their shine just like people who have been trapped for too long. ]

[Given what Armin's just said, he should feel more hesitant to trade jars with Levi; he can't help it, though - he wants to hold them in his hands the same way the Captain has. As he hands Levi his empty jar, he finally notices the state that the Captain is in; he won't ask about it, however. Whatever happened to Levi (was it recent?), he's sure it's really none of his business to go prying. Still, his expression falters for just a minute.]

You make a good point. [It isn't hard to manage a smile.] I guess they'd be okay for a little while, so long as we can let them go later...

It's a little silly of me, right? I know they're only bugs, really, but they make the sky so beautiful - almost like stars.

[With this, he takes a moment - a long few, actually - to stare at the jar now in his hands, the little creatures blinking and dancing inside. They seem content enough. It really is a wonder to hold them like this.]

If he notices the scrutiny, it isn't apparent - just as Erwin doesn't seem to notice how this other boy is small for his age, or perhaps seems a bit undernourished, or anything else normal people might find off about him. For the most part, he just seems excited to have met a potential new friend.

He holds up the jar, which has about three fireflies in it already, and a lid with holes poked into it twisted on loosely.

"If you catch some, we can put them in here! Or if you leave the lid off, sometimes they fly in on their own. Did you know they're actually a kind of beetle? The ones that fly are the males looking for a mate, and the females signal to them on the ground."

Erwin rattles all this off without hardly pausing for a breath. But he stops, and points to Levi's shoulder, grinning. "Look! One's landed on you!"

Marco does think this world is kinder than their own. He also has the luxury, he supposes, of knowing he's already passed on - a luxury in that he doesn't feel guilt for wanting to stay. His time at home is finished, in the most final way.

He looks over at Armin, though, and laughs softly - not at Armin, but enjoying the question.

"What does it hurt to believe that they might feel things like that, though?" He asks pragmatically. "I think it's kinder to believe they might be able to feel joy and dislike things, than to think they have no feelings at all."

He hums, then shakes his hand a little, sending the fireflies Armin's way.

"Maybe once the mission is over, we can let them go...?"

Edited (wanted a better hook) 2023-11-23 07:12 (UTC)

Marco's words reassure Armin into a bright, grateful smile. Marco's always been good at this - validating others, encouraging, inspiring. Armin aches to think about it. He's so glad that his friend is standing here beside him right now. It's almost enough to bring tears to his eyes.

"You're right, Marco. As usual." It's a kind addition. "If that sort of thing were possible anywhere, it would be here, right?"

As the fireflies flutter away from Marco's fingertips, Armin holds out one of his hands, cupped for them to land - and they do. A little thrill surges through him. They're even more beautiful up close, casting yellow light against Armin's skin as they blink and glow.

"We should, I think. They'll be important, I know, but..." He lifts his head, grinning ear to ear at Marco. It's such a terribly genuine smile. "Once we don't need them anymore, let's agree not to keep them locked up as decoration, okay? We let them go."

Marco smiles wide and nods at Armin's assertion that if it were true, it'd be here. Truly, it doesn't hurt to believe something like that. They're both more than aware that cattle are capable of feelings too, and yet they regularly must utilize them for food eventually back home.

It still doesn't hurt, Marco thinks, to choose kindness over cruelty. That was the point of trying again with Reiner, after all.

"Absolutely. It's a promise," he agrees. He laughs softly at the fireflies in Armin's hands. "I think they really like you. Maybe these ones wanted to come say hi."

Between the stinkeye and the shitty attitude? Yeah, this is definitely a smaller version of Levi.

Ironically, him being a tiny turd of a child just endears him to Galliard. As a veteran tiny turd himself, he gets it. Sometimes, you just need to lash out at a world that isn't treating you fairly.

"Okay." He spreads his palms wide and shrugs, still faintly smiling. "I just thought we could team up, catch more of them, if we worked together. But if you'd rather work alone, that's fine too."

He takes a step away, but doesn't leave. When a firefly zips past, Galliard moves his own jar in a gentle, swooping motion, and catches it.

Edited 2023-11-23 16:05 (UTC)

Jean watches Gabi run around from a good distance, his own jar still empty. Apparently, it was possible to look so intense while catching bugs. And then the intense atmosphere was gone - just like that.

Some of the fireflies Gabi was charging at took shelter in Jean's jar. Well. This was one way to get fireflies, he supposed.

"Thanks, Gabi. You're helping a lot", he grins, the jar now glowing.

That is honestly an impressive amount of words to exhale like this, except it's a lot more interesting and less gross than the rants usually leaving Kenny's mouth. ...okay, he might need to contemplate more on the gross part. He knows beetles, but the ones he's familiar with tend to be big, in dull, dark colours, and definitely not pretty.

The crunch isn't too bad sometimes, though.

But these look just like little lanterns come alive, and it's utterly fascinating -- and he's maybe looking at Erwin's jar with a little bit of jealousy, up until the other boy points at his shoulder and he's quickly turning his head to look at it and tensing, somewhere between elated and disgusted, because on one hand, he's been Chosen, and on another, he can really see the legs and mandibles and whatever else up close like this and it's maybe ruining his handfuls-of-stars daydream a little.

"Yeah, well- something landed on your face," he shoots back, pointing at Erwin's eyebrows in return, except his determination to never show weakness falters when the firefly starts casually strolling up his shoulder and toward the neckline of his shirt and he looks down at it again, pulling on his sleeve a little in an attempt to keep it at bay, his voice suddenly smaller; "Takeitoff."

Jean was already aware of some people aging down, so seeing Armin like he last remembers him isn't surprising to him. Just a little weird at first, since he was already used to the new look.

"Not really. I've seen fireflies, sure, but not this many."

Blue eyes definitely go cross-eyed trying to focus on Levi's finger, and there's a moment of definite confusion, and then it clicks and-

...there's a brief, crestfallen expression that takes over. It's definitely not the first time someone's tried to make fun of his eyebrows, though, so a moment later, a smile takes over again, if somewhat more reserved than earlier. Erwin opens his mouth to say something, but then the other boy seems suddenly afraid of the firefly that's crawling its way closer to his skin.

"It's okay," he says kindly, and holds out the jar for Levi to take. If he doesn't, Erwin will tuck it between his knees before reaching out with both hands to coax the firefly off of Levi's shirt and onto his palm. He holds it between them, the little light glowing as though just for them.

"It won't hurt you, see?"

Jean grins a little at the joke accusation. But then he's more serious again, listening to what Marco has to say. It's not surprising to hear about the hits (except the rock part). Marco had been furious when Jean told Reiner was there.

"Let me guess... Reiner made absolutely no move to defend himself?"

He hadn't when Jean hit him because he was shocked about Marco. So seeing the actual Marco probably made him freeze up even more.

"But you're right. Someone has to take the first step. Might as well be us."

--Oh. Oh, now he feels kind of like shit, staring at that hurt look. It's not like the other boy can really do anything about the giant caterpillars camping on his brow, not more than Levi can do about being a scrawny little runt -- for now, he's definitely going to be tall and terrifying when he's older! -- and it seems he's sad about that, too.

Maybe Levi should apologize... but Kenny never apologizes, he just changes the topic and pretends nothing happened, so clearly that's the optimal course of action to get along with someone. He chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment, and reaches out to take the offered jar, slow and careful, like he's afraid it might shatter just from contact with his hands.

He almost seems to forget about the creepy crawlie on him for a moment, bringing the jar closer to his face, apparently feeling safe to examine the creatures once there's glass separating them, eyes wide. Then he glances at where Erwin is scooping the firefly off of him.

"I know that," he blurts, finally turning to face them, still a bit apprehensive but calmer than before. He leans in a little closer, the dim light now falling on both their faces, as if they're huddling around a single match in the harsh of winter. His eyes dart to the side before he finally admits, "But I might hurt it."

That's why he's been reluctant to touch them, even if he wasn't particularly enjoying having one on him all the same.

"...you're good at this." Being gentle, catching fireflies, whichever.

Erwin has nothing with him except his shoes in his hand, walking the beach at a leisurely pace, barefoot. The sound of the sea is something he doesn't think he'll ever get used to, no matter how long they're allowed to be here. Its building rumbles and soft, cresting foam hissing out over the sand is both wondrously new and somehow deeply, intrinsically familiar, just by virtue of its steady, natural rhythm.

He stops just next to Armin, glancing up at the sky, and then the water.

"My grandparents lived in a village just outside Krolva. When I was very young, my parents took me to visit them once or twice. I remember their whole garden sparkling with little yellow lights in the evening, and as far out as I could see. But not anything quite like this, no."

Erwin tilts his head at the smaller boy quizzically for a moment. It's a fair worry, but not one a lot of other children seem to think about often. There's something interesting about him that Erwin can't quite put his finger on, but also something really familiar, although he knows for a fact they've never met before. He'd remember someone like this, worried about hurting a smaller creature than him.

Erwin beams though, at the compliment, practically radiating sunshine ~~out his eyebrows~~ at the praise, clearly happy to have impressed his new friend (because they are friends already, right?).

"I've caught a lot of bugs before. Mama doesn't always like it, but papa says it's good to be curious as long as you're careful." Papa says that often, actually.

"I could teach you, if you like! You just can't hold them like between your fingers, or grab 'em with your fist. You gotta make a bubble with your hands, like this-" He demonstrates, gently cupping one palm against the other over the firefly to make sure there's space between them, but not enough for the bug to escape. It starts to flutter against his fingers, so he opens them again, and it starts to drift away, clearly unharmed.

"See?"

Jean shakes Porco's hand, because why not. It would be rather rude not to.

"Makes us even. Reiner didn't tell an awful lot about you, but I do know you're one of his comrades. Not that it matters here. At least not to me."

(They're absolutely not friends!!) ...that is a much better look on him, though. Fine, maybe Levi can play along with that whole friend angle if it means Erwin's dumb, ultra-eyebrowed expression stays bright like this.

His own face clouds a little this time, when the other boy talks about his parents. Ma died years ago, though he remembers her gentle voice and soft embrace, and how pretty she was, so contrasting with the shithole they were living in. He doesn't think he ever had a dad, or at least he doesn't remember it. He does have Kenny, but it's not the same.

Had, a little voice at the back of his head insists. It's been weeks since he's seen him. Maybe he's not coming back this time. He tells himself that he's been gone for a week or two at a time before, that maybe he's held up by something important, maybe work came up, surely, he's coming back any day now -- and yet, somewhere beneath his soul, same place that instinct takes over from when he loses his cool, he knows there was something final about the way he had walked away the last time.

No. He can't let himself spiral into that now. Instead, he tries to focus on what's in front of him, frowning slightly in concentration as he bends down to carefully rest the jar on the ground between them and tries putting his hands together the same way. It seems... easy, too easy almost, there has to be some kind of a catch.

"Like this?.."

[ Levi doesn't think anything of it. He's sort of used to it now, but he knows the way he looks now can be jarring the first time someone sees him, especially if they knew him before. Nothing he can do about that, and he prefers not to bring attention to it. It's been hard enough coming to terms with seeing himself as anything other than a broken weapon. ]

Thought so.

[ Does that mean they've got a compromise?.. He's not sure whatever protection a few beetles can offer on this upcoming journey, but if the fairies think it will help, he wants Armin to have it. He can stay out here longer and fill a new lantern for himself; it's fine. ]

[ Almost like stars... that's exactly what Levi had been thinking, too. It's like caging little pieces of the night sky; doesn't quite feel right. He's suddenly not sure of words, and there's a slight pause before he responds. ]

...It's not silly. [ He finally manages, and turns away to look at the dancing lights again, or perhaps he's just avoiding looking directly at Armin, the way he so often seems to do when he's trying to express something personal. ] The way you can see the world. It's your strength.

[ It will be what saves them all in the end, won't it? ]

[ Armin doesn't really sound that different, but there's something in his voice that snags Eren's memory somewhere. He's not sure what he expects when he turns, torso twisting so that he can look back properly. ]

Armin?

[ He notes the empty jar, but more than that… ]

Did something happen? Your hair's different.

"He didn't," Marco confirms sadly. He also hadn't noticed Reiner muttering let him at the time; it would have broken his heart and been reported to Jean if he had realized it.

He looks up at the fireflies in the sky again, giving a deep sigh.

"My room mate - Galliard. He's from Marley too," he tells Jean. "And I think the reason it worked out so well is because he was there. He told Reiner the blame lay at the people sending them out. Reiner seemed to take it to heart."

Marco clears his throat a little. "So, if you run into him, be nice? He can be a little sulky sometimes, but he's got a good heart."

Edited (i don't know if marco knows he's a titan shifter yet orz) 2023-11-24 06:54 (UTC)

Erwin is about to ask what's wrong when he notices that dark look, concern foiling his eyebrows a bit, but then the other boy ducks to put the jar down (very carefully), and comes back to make the same shape with his hands. He nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Just a little wider though-" Carefully he reaches to touch Levi's hands, encouraging him to make a little bit more of a tent shape, just a little more room between his palms. He can't help but notice how small they are, fingers almost delicate, but he's very gentle.

"There, like that!" He smiles, catching the smaller boy's eyes again finally. "I'm Erwin, what's your name?"

There's a young blonde boy, about ten years old, playing a game of tag with the waves. He chases them out to sea, splashing a few footsteps into the retreating surf, and then runs back up the beach again when a new wave crashes over the shore. Sometimes he lets it catch him, sometimes he doesn't, sometimes he gets distracted by a pretty shell glittering in the fading light, and then has to run extra fast so as not to be completely soaked. He giggles and laughs, the whole thing new and exciting, to see water move this way, to not be able to see the other side of it.

After a little while, he looks over and notices the dog lying not so far away. Curious and with no notion of anything like magic or shape shifting, Erwin picks up his shoes and makes his way across the sand at an awkward, loping pace, clearly unaccustomed to the shifting and uneven terrain and perhaps even the length of his legs, which are not especially long for his age, but look primed to rocket toward the sky by the time he reaches adulthood.

He approaches the unknown creature carefully, but not apprehensively. A few feet away he sets his shoes down, and then takes a few more steps closer before crouching close.

"Hello, pup-pup," he greets warmly, but his young face is a mix of curiosity and childish concern as he reaches out to gently pat the large head. "Why are you sad? Are you lost?"

Marco's words leave Jean silent for a while. He remembers the end of his and Reiner's first conversation.

Jean. Blame me. Not Annie, not anyone else. It was my fault. Just blame me.

It should have always been 'Marley' that's to blame. Not that he would have thought about that back then. He had been too angry and didn't know anything about the outside world. Well, he didn't know about it much even now. Just that Marley existed and Reiner's from there.

"That's good. It made me annoyed he tried to take all the blame. Of course, I blamed it on all of them, but... now I know better, at least."

At least he learned.

"But sure. I don't plan on making enemies with anyone just because they're from a different place and supposedly enemies."

[Armin's brow furrows. It's definitely Eren, but...]

I was about to say the same about you...

[It's not just Eren's hair, though. He looks entirely different - taller, more...tired? Is that really all that Armin's picking up on? No. His entire expression-- What happened?]

Are...you alright? You look...

[He takes a few steps closer, coming to meet his friend.

[Something's not right. This world can be strange. Strange things happen all the time - magic, things like that. Armin hasn't forgotten.]

Well, you look...all grown up now.

[Closed Log] Fireflies are stars that couldn't journey to the skies

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true <3

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C w/bb!Erwin

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