seasonsrpg | 💖 head first, into the water

{ if she isn't nervous for herself, she probably should have been for cloud. perhaps her trust in her brother was to blame, but it's not going to be exactly the easiest of first-but-not-really-first meetings. in fact, ayaka can take as much time as she needs.

they're sat leisurely in the living room, ayato having positioned himself so he can lean into the back and armrest of the sofa. one leg is crossed over the other, and his chin rests upon his hand to stay comfortable and observe cloud closely.

the smile ayato gives to cloud appears warm on the surface, but there's definitely a sharpness in undertone in the way the tension in the room seems to only increase. }

Ayaka failed to mention a few details regarding your relationship. { he is, at least, straight to the point. there's no reason to try and small talk first, after all. } Since you have no relation to where we're from, I am curious as to how you've come to be so important to her and what you expect will happen going forward. { those are two very big questions to start with. }

[ It was a thought that admittedly remained under lock & key in his mind since the two of them first discussed the possibility of the eldest Kamisato’s return. How he would be effectively starting all over again. Any progress he made in bridging that gap between himself and Ayato. Beyond any potential softening up done by one little white heron, their old relationship was thrown to the wind, fading in the ether. All he needed to do was answer him the same way again, right?

Except… well. ]

Mm.

[ Back then…they hadn’t started dating yet. And the man sitting across from Ayato and Thoma now? Was completely different from the person he was. A hardened military man, Ex-SOLDIER, a morally sound mercenary who carried himself with a sense of knitted-brow confidence. Perhaps even now, he never quite lost that spirit. But what made Cloud different now, loosing a soft sigh as he temporarily fists the fabric of his pant legs, is that he remembered who he was.

Where he came from. All the missing pieces made him into a Cloud Strife that he used to think never existed. A shy, loyal yet strong country boy from a sleepy little village in the mountains. He became somebody that Ayaka was proud to call her prince. A pillar of support for the people who struggled to stand on their own, no matter the doubts and uncertainty he harboured in his heart. He always kept fighting.

In the end…he finds himself where he is today, doing his damnest to stay grounded for what he believes in and for who he feels so strongly for, because Ayaka gave him that chance. A chance to live a life that just made sense. Now he needs to find his way again. Find his way and tell a smiling yet familiarly sharp lord this and more. ]

As the Shirasagi Himegimi… She’s got a lot to live up to. A responsibility to the clan and the people of Inazuma, right?

[ Even if two big questions out the gate are one hell of a mountain to climb. It feels awkward being put on the spot like this. But he was prepared for this. Right? ~~No. But this is what improv from the heart is for. Lights, camera, action, Mr. Strife.~~ ]

I guess… I helped give her a chance to spread her wings. And she gave me a chance to just be…

[ Silently his breath catches. He doesn’t want to say it. Not yet… Not something that would invite something so heavy out the gate. There’s so much to unpack over the time he spent in that other world, with Ayaka and everything they’ve since shared. ~~He misses the “what do you do for a living” kinda interviews. WCHENCJJW~~ So instead, he takes a cool breath, leaning forward with his hands in his lap before his gaze moves away from Ayato and Thoma.

To the girl in the kitchen innocently working for them. He remembers the time she gave him a tour of their Kyoto branch of the Kamisato Estate. She shut the door on him, only to peek out from the opening with her bright gaze to tell him a secret. How she used to not be allowed in the kitchen, especially when she was younger.

Look at her now… The nervousness in his expression ebbs away as he watches her, an old softness returning to those mako-infused blues of his. When he looks at her…he thinks he’s got a better answer. Still speaking to Ayato, ]

Ayaka and I…learned a lot from each other… [ A little nod. ] Safe to say we still are.

[ No room for doubt when it comes to this. ]

She helped me spread my wings too.

{ despite how it seems, ayato really isn't that unreasonable. ayaka's happiness is paramount at the route of it all, but so is her safety, her innocence, her future and they don't have their parents watching over her and haven't for years now - that responsibility falls onto him to watch out for her.

cloud's question in return only makes his stare a bit harder for a moment, and it's a shame that cloud isn't sharing some of those thoughts about where he's come from as they wouldn't feel as surface level as the words he does say. }

Ayaka already lives up to her name of the Shirasagi Himegimi. { the tone he uses makes no room for argument on that front, making it a question of whether she does or doesn't, for clarity isn't really a good enough answer. } And anyone who wishes to stay by her side would need to recognise that.

{ for the record, cloud, that was not a good start. }

Would you like to start again? { compared to the previous words, this is said with a much softer smile. a warning, perhaps, to not downplay ayaka's abilities again.

if only cloud could erase that one sentence and start again }

[ Amidst his nerves? Cloud knows. If anything, whilst he indeed drilled him at first in the last world they met, it was a fateful encounter that would help cement the choices Cloud would make. He must have been thinking of what his answers were going to be for a while now...and yet even still, the directness in Ayato's tone, and the way he set the condition for anyone who wanted to be with her...

It catches him off guard. Enough so that he feels color creeping to his cheeks, and a certain sense of tension equally creeping up his spine. It's a different type of pressure. When he was with Ayaka, it was so easy to say what he felt. She gave him a safe space to do so, much in the same way he gave her that tranquility. He really thought he had something going there, and he meant every word. And yet it's that very first statement... He's seen that soft smile in the past. In a way, he knows what it means.

And Cloud thankfully steels down that nagging temptation to let himself be frustrated. Frustrated that he's starting over. You can't just expect a relationship that's been going on for almost a year to suddenly be easy when timelines and alternate memories were involved.

"Would you like to start again?" ]

I... [ He shakes his head. ] I know she does. Didn't mean anything else by it. I just—

[ He stops himself there. Did he justify himself? Did he clarify that he wasn't downplaying anything Ayaka accomplished? Or did he do exactly as Ayato asked of him? And start again. ]

Sorry.

[ He paces himself. Stops himself from saying too much. He needs to try. Not just for Ayaka's sake, but for Ayato's own. Especially when he knows in good part where the man comes from. So.

How did you become so important to her, Cloud? ]

...

[ No. Something about that question didn't seem right. When he repeats it back. He wants to try. But he also wants to do what he feels is right. So he meets Ayato's gaze, more set this time. More direct. ]

I think how I got to be so important to her...is something for Ayaka to tell.

I can say things like how I listen to her, take interest in her hobbies, made a wish to stay with her, moved a whole city just to be closer...but...

I'd rather tell you how she got to be so important to me.

Edited 2023-03-15 05:03 (UTC)

{ he sighs, disappointed for a moment as cloud fumbles over his words and backtracks in the ways he expects and yet hopes he'd be proven wrong with. he's too nervous, which is something to say about how important ayaka is to him, he can acknowledge that.

the problem is where they're from there's little room for fumbling. the smallest hesitation could cause something catastrophic.

it's a good job cloud actually tries to keep going, that he collects himself enough to actually consider the questions he asked. despite how harsh he's being, ayato isn't the sort of person to disregard love or think it's not worth pursuing. if anything, he wants the world for ayaka. if cloud is really what makes her happy, then that's that. he just wants the man to understand the gravity of what it means to be with a kamisato.

so, when cloud finally settles on "i'd rather tell you how she got to be so important to me" he'll feel some of that tension and harshness in the way ayato observes him fade. }

Go on. { the command isn't said as sharply now either, and is more encouragement.

truly, go on cloud, tell him how wonderful his sister is. }

[ He can sense it. Feel it, even. And suddenly, it feels all too familiar... Tension and harshness ebb away when the most important matter comes to light. ]

... There's nobody like her.

[ Cloud's not used to waxing poetic or talking at length about his feelings like this. But he's already tried this much and come this far. He'll take this chance, cast caution to the wind. Step outside his comfort zone. His gaze drifts from Ayato for a moment, to Thoma, as if to silently convey that he means this for both of them to hear. As her dear brother and precious caretaker. He can tell Ayaka that he loves her every day. That when she asks him how his day was when they called one another, just for him to say it "just got better". Behind closed doors, with the people closest to her...

...

Okay. ]

She's smart, beautiful, stronger than most people I know...in more ways than one. She's the first person I met when I got taken to Nippon...and my life already changed for the better having her in it.

...and it still got better from there.

She made me wanna watch her in everything she did. [ "Please, keep your eyes on me." ] Tea ceremony, acting, training, dancing... Feels like the only time everything makes sense is when I'm with her. In the letter she got for her birthday, I said I couldn't find the brightest star in the sky no matter how hard I tried...

[ Because it wasn't up there. That's when he looks way from Ayato. Back into the direction of the kitchen. ]

Because she's right here.

{ while the tension has certainly subsided, it doesn't mean cloud isn't being watched closely. especially now, as he finally actually shares his thoughts with them both, ayato's eyes stay focused on cloud. he listens to the tones and intonations, the tell tale signs that his words are true and there's no ulterior motive behind it all. he watches his body language, the way he looks between them as he tries to convey his feelings.

ayato really isn't unreasonable, or he doesn't think he is, he just wants to really make sure his sister will get the love and protection she deserves.

he doesn't like that he hasn't been there to see this from the start, because maybe then he wouldn't have so many reservations of an outsider coming along and sweeping her off her feet. but cloud is thankfully doing a much better job than a moment ago when he'd been struggling to find the right words. }

You should have started with that. { it's a confirmation that he's been heard, at least. does ayato have other concerns? of course he does, but it's a much better impression than the first one he had of him. }

And as for your expectations moving forward, { ayaka's happiness is really what matters. more than his own to be honest. by a long way. he doesn't think she'd leave her responsibilities behind once they are able to return home, which begs the question-- } given your options whenever we should finish what is requested of us here, would you be willing to lose everything to stay with her?

[ A far cry from the person who once struggled with splitting headaches, fuzzy memories, and voices he could barely recognize inside his own head. It was only just recently that Cloud truly felt like he found himself again. That the person that fell in love with a girl from across the railroad tracks was still there. He has a sense of focus. Purpose. Not just with where he wants his journey to end, but what he needs to do when the time was right back home. Which leads to Ayato's next question.

And though there's a pause on Cloud's part, it's less out of a struggle for what to say...and more that he understands the weight of his decision. A choice that he and Ayaka both made. They were given a second chance to decide their own destinies here. To defy whatever fate would have once had in store for them. It's part of what's defined him and the others since they broke the chain, walking that cracked concrete road through the wastelands beyond Midgar. ]

I have unfinished business back home. Once I've settled that, I'm coming back for her.

{ ayato doesn't even seem to blink as he responds almost instantly. }

Goodness me, you're awfully confident you'll have the chance to hop where you please. We can't make assumptions of what options will be available to us when they claim we're all brought here randomly to begin with. So, { he pauses then, letting it weigh heavily in the air. } if you don't have that as a possibility, what will you do?

[ He suddenly feels himself...bristle as Ayato speaks. Continues to talk. Slamming him with another very real possibility. The possibility that when they've saved this world, that they'd get sent back without their consent. Or perhaps given a choice with no return.

...

He doesn't like it. He doesn't like it because it's something he's thought about, yet Ayaka's the one who also instilled a sense of hope in him, too. Supported him. He needs to pace himself now. Do his best to keep his emotions under wraps. This time, that faint glow of mako in his eyes, trained upon Kamisato Ayato with a slightly more knit brow. ]

You don't know that. [ Oo. ] When we first left Nippon, she experienced a year's time in Inazuma. I came straight here- I "hopped". I'm not going back till I know I can make it back to her.

{ ayaka has been raised to be hopeful, to see the light in the world and wish for the best against all odds. ayato, on the other hand, had to tread the path that never really let him rest or keep that side of himself. he'd been willing to make that sacrifice for his family, and honestly, he expects cloud to do the same for ayaka. there are burdens in life he doesn't want her to have to deal with, even if she'd protest if she knew. }

Neither of us know what lies ahead, Cloud. { he sighs. } She already told me she didn't remember anything while back home, only upon arriving here were her memories returned to her. { he pauses, and this time his eyes shift away towards the kitchen where ayaka is blissfully unaware of the conversation they're having. } There's still so much we don't know about the situation at hand. It's only been a few days, but from what I've learned already I do not expect it will be an easy problem to solve.

{ yet he isn't apparently sharing that information yet. }

[ To think, for all the hope that's been sucked out of Cloud's life...it was only just recently that he felt like he actually got some of it back. He has a certain little white heron to thank for that. He listens. Hangs off every word Ayato says. And for once...at least on Cloud's end despite the bristle he feels before, he doesn't feel so much the tension anymore. He feels it break. But it doesn't give way to warmth. Nor does it yield to the cold, either. ]

Ayato. [ He tilts his head. ] Thoma... [ ~~You're here too asdfjklh~~ ]

I know. Nothing worth fighting for ever is. [ Which is why... ] I know my answer.

[ Hint. He hasn't spoken a single lie yet. ]

I just...don't feel right saying it out loud.

Edited 2023-03-16 09:17 (UTC)

{ well, there was likely a moment's reprieve for thoma as they made two steps forward and cloud manages to leap backwards.

the smile that ayato gives him this time is almost worse than the one when he'd asked if he'd like to start again. it's sickly sweet, and accompanied by cutting words. }

When you do feel like saying it, { he starts, pushing himself to stand, brushing off his sleeve. } perhaps I'll consider taking your feelings on the matter more seriously.

{ rip }

Excuse me, I'll just be a moment to get some tea. All this talking has me rather thirsty.

{ the fact that he isn't even sending thoma to do it is proof enough that he doesn't think anything cloud has to say is worth listening to now. ~~sorrysdgkjnsdg~~ }

[ Thank you my lord Ayato for your kindness in abandoning Thoma to drown in the depths of the heavy atmosphere of the living room with Cloud while you walk off to the bright and peaceful light of the kitchen where our savior Ayaka is, truly he is blessed. ]

[ He is... rather sure there isn't much he could or should say at this moment that wouldn't come off as simply placating and honestly speaking; Cloud deserved better than that for what he'd been and will probably still be going through in the immediate future. This is a matter to be settled between Cloud, Ayato, and Ayaka, in the end, and Thoma was more or less just a bystander in it all. ]

[ He just also wasn't the sort of bystander to leave things alone if he could help it. Even if he didn't necessarily know how to best help. ]

... That went better than it could have.

[ Please he is a simple dog, he doesn't deserve this. ]

[ Wait... Is he really just...going to get up and leave? Cloud may not be a social butterfly, but he can read between the lines. This went wrong. This went completely wrong...even after stepping out of his comfort zone, sharing what he truly feels, the eldest Kamisato just...gets up to "get some tea". His chest feels tight, and his breath catches in his throat. ]

Ah—

[ "Excuse me, I'll just be a moment to get some tea." ]

...

[ His mouth hangs agape, and as he silently watches the man take his leave, his words ringing to the point that it feels like he's on the brink of a headache, his gaze visibly trembles for a moment. Until Ayato is gone and, ]

[ That's when the tension leaves his body. Tension he thought he'd once dispelled when he thought he was saying what Ayato wanted to hear. But Cloud's learning very quickly that any past history he may have had with her older brother was...erased. Practically gone.

"Do watch out for her when I'm not around, would you?" ]

...

[ He looses a sigh, before Thoma speaks up. Shit. That must have been even more awkward for him to sit by his lord and listen. And then he huffs, steeling down what may come back and claw its way into his brain again. His tone of voice even lifts a little too. ]

Little victories, right? [ A beat. ] Sorry.

I think I should be saying that to you.

[ While it's extremely awkward being the one trapped in a room while Ayato was verbally subduing someone, Thoma's at least somewhat used to it. He'd served more often than not as the guard and assistant in the room during Ayato's more serious negotiations, and so he was fairly familiar with that tone of voice that the Kamisato head had taken. ]

[ It's just that usually he doesn't have a partially divided loyalty toward the target of Ayato's verbal lashings. Or at least, the girlfriend of said target. ]

[ He offers a small, understanding smile toward Cloud, gaze flickering toward the kitchen briefly then back. ]

And you've got time. He did say 'when' after all.

No. [ Thoma's got nothing to do with this. ...to an extent. At least, he hasn't done anything wrong. To say that this was complicated was a bit of an understatement. Something told him that he was going to need proper one-on-one time with both of them. Not for the sake of this subject, but because...well. Cloud isn't going to be a social butterfly. Not in the same way that Thoma's so capable of hopping in and being a good problem solver. But that wasn't going to stop him from wanting to get to know them.

Little steps, at least. The small, understanding smile that Thoma offers is actually more than welcome. And he breathes easier. The tension's ceased for now. And even now, despite what thoughts would continue to creep into his conscience after this, he isn't necessarily mad at Ayato either. ]

Appreciate that. [ At least Cloud sounds more relaxed now as he talks to Thoma. He deserves to know a little more background details too. Reclining back in his seat a little more, he continues. ] Guess I shoulda seen this coming.

Not every day you get taken to two different worlds, crop up one day and go, "by the way, been dating your sister for almost a year, hi."

[ Cloud's definitely got a tough road ahead of him, but Thoma had been (painfully) there to witness the sincerity he showed toward Ayaka, and (less painfully) the way Ayaka spoke so fondly of Cloud. It was heartwarming, the way they spoke about each other, and by this point, he had no doubts that things would work out for the two of them. It was more or less just a matter of when Cloud would be able to earn himself Ayato's approval. Though knowing how much Ayato cared for Ayaka, it might be a very long when... ]

[ You've got this, Cloud. ]

It's been almost a year for you both? Wow, no wonder you two seem so comfortable with each other.

[ He'd learned a bit about Ayaka's life in Nippon from her, but his knowledge of the details were admittedly lacking. At the time, there was so much else they were covering that he's not sure he would have been able to take in all that information if more had been added on top of it. ]

[ ... Well there was at least one piece of information he definitely did retain. ]

M- Ah, I mean Ayato's got his sister in mind always, but I fully believe that as Ayaka's beau, you'll get through to him.

She was easy to get along with. [ Meaning Ayaka was really too pure to be nothing but nice back. Even if he was still in Ex-SOLDIER mode back then. ] Even before we started dating.

[ Now that Cloud's effectively embarrassed himself despite showing his sincerity, a time might come to share more stories of what happened in Nippon, more at Cloud's pace. But she'd always talked so fondly of Thoma and Ayato especially... He can see why. Not even a minute after his lord's temporary exit, and he feels a sense of warmth fill the air between them. He's more relaxed.

When Thoma brings up the 'B' word, Cloud is surprised. Blinking back at him, he doesn't quite laugh...but his shoulders give a gentle shake as he huffs more lightly.

Ah. There's a smile. Even if it's a little one. ]

She gave you my title, huh?

{ ayato pauses at the door as he catches the tailend of what thoma says. he could act as though he didn't hear anything, but for one thing while he may be making an effort to be nicer, it doesn't have to be 100%. }

Amongst many others. I believe 'prince' and 'hero' also may have been used. { thankfully, his voice doesn't carry the same tension it did before, instead this time it's said with a bit of a laugh. } I was starting to lose track.

{ he'll place the tray on the table, and as a gesture of goodwill actually take the tea pot to pour the tea out for cloud first, following up with: } Ayaka made sencha.

{ before either of them get suspicious :( }

[ Oh... so Ayato already knew that one. That was good! At least, he wouldn't have to deal with the same surprise that Thoma did upon learning Ayaka's... choice of words for her boyfriend. ]

[ His gaze flickers up toward the other man as he reenters with tea tray in hand, offering a smile and resisting his trained instincts to take the tray and take over the service himself. Which meant he paid no mind to the fact that Ayato's pouring tea for Cloud first. Rather, he's pleased to see the action, surely that meant things were going better, right? ]

Thank you, Ayato.

And it sounds like you're a man of many titles, Cloud.

[ Seeing Ayato return, 'prince' and 'hero' among the titles Ayaka's used to call him hanging in the air, he initially feels a bristling sensation down his back. Luckily it's not visible on his expression...but those words from earlier would linger for a very long time, weighing on his heart. Now, thanks to the brief little chat with Thoma? It's not frustration he feels anymore. Not in this moment. It's worry. A sense of dread he hasn't felt in a long time that, ultimately, leads to Cloud wanting to just...

...

Just make things right. As Ayato pours Cloud's cup of sencha, the spikier blond watching him with a wider-eyed sense of wonder, he hopes that he can make things right. Make things right while still holding true to his beliefs. That's the ideal. That's the hope and optimism that the likes of Ayaka instilled in him. That's the ideal he was going to continue to try to achieve at least. ]

Thank you, Ayato.

[ He nods his head in acknowledgement, opting to wait for Ayato and Thoma to have theirs served as well. If it wasn't Ayaka doing it, Cloud served tea to their parents' shrine in the corner back on Nippon... Something about not having anywhere to go. Or not having two cups to serve in respect... It doesn't feel so whole anymore. But he's glad that they can move on. If only for a little. ]

Well? Let's see...besides what she's called me, there's mercenary, SOLDIER: First Class, bodyguard...

[ He half smiles as he recalls another one, ]

Since getting here, had a Mondstadter call me 'Adventurer'.

[ Ayaka is humming a tune when she comes out of the kitchen, a bunch of bowls and plates on a tray that she sets up. It takes her three rounds of going back to the kitchen before each person's got their lunch ready. Soup, chicken, salad, rice, fruits— they all look so good! The bowls of rice have sesame seeds sprinkled on top, but Cloud's has a little heart of sesame seeds on top of his... :) ]

Shall we have lunch?

[ Look at all of them getting along! :D Ayaka even pulls out the chairs for all of them, waving at Cloud to come sit next to her since that's where she put his rice bowl. ]

I hope I did not miss anything important.

[ aka what were the three of you talking about!! ]

{ efforts were made, but how much of that is because he isn't sure how long ayaka really will be is up in the air. he may not have been on his best behaviour earlier when she wasn't in the room, but he is now.

to the point he even pours a cup for ayaka who wasn't even at the table yet before himself. }

Cloud was sharing all the names you've given him over your time together.

{ he'll direct the conversation that way as well, because while he won't be outright mean here, he can still tease both of them. }

You're going to run out of vocabulary soon enough.

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how the heck did you type this on a phone MAD RESPECT

IT WAS LONGER THAN I EXPECTED—heh

h e h

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