sheezit: (Default)
Shez ([personal profile] sheezit) wrote in [community profile] seasonsrpg2023-08-14 04:50 pm

[CLOSED]

WHO: Shez & various
WHAT: mysterious mercenary she(z)nans (catch-all)
WHEN: a mystery
WHERE: more mystery
WARNINGS: will be added if/when needed

just a catch-all for closed threads; starters in the comments;
fishfearme: (huh?)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-08-24 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
I... suppose.

[Though the response seemed lacklustre, it was obvious that it was more from an inability to fully express himself and just plain not knowing what to say in response to that, rather than disinterest in what Shez was saying. Byleth was staring at him again, his expression difficult to read but his gaze quietly intense.]

You know, Shez, you're the only one who's ever thought that about me. That it's... fine for me to stay true to myself. Even Jeralt thinks I'm strange and wants me to be better at being a person. But you're... very accepting and understanding of me...

[Words were inadequate. Nothing he'd say would be able to fully convey the depth and breadth of his feelings for Shez - not that he could even hope to articulate them in the first place. Not even Byleth fully understood this strange emotion sitting on his chest, feeling both heavy yet extremely light all at once. Shez was... he was so kind and had such a good heart. Boundless patience too, as he dealt with Byleth's various idiosyncrasies with only a sigh or a comment or two (and even those didn't contain much malice).

Forget Seiros - Shez was the true saint of Fódlan.]


Thank you. Um, I know those words probably don't mean much but, still.

[Maybe he should try and get him a fruit basket or something... no, a table at a 5-star all you can eat buffet. Yes, that'd be the perfect thank you gift for Shez!]
fishfearme: (look down)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-08-24 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
No, of course not.

[The answer came quick - defensive, almost. Truth was, Jeralt took great pains to never imply Byleth was wanting in any way, but he could never fully hide his apprehension or concern whenever Byleth struggled to interact with his peers, or misunderstood things most people intuitively understood. Jeralt loved him, Byleth knew that, but his father worried about him too. It didn't help that Jeralt doubted his parenting abilities too, nevermind that in Byleth's eyes, he was the best father he could ask for.

How many would've accepted their child lacking a heartbeat, along with the various other oddities surrounding them? Most would've thought him to be a Changeling or offensively strange. He knew when some called him 'demon', they didn't mean it figuratively, after all.]


But I know that if I was normal, he wouldn't have to worry about me so much. He's always encouraging me to socialise with my peers, to try and make friends and have 'experiences', but I struggle with it. I don't like disappointing him, but people is an area that I don't excel in.
fishfearme: (gentle neutral)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-08-24 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I... yes, but...

[Byleth sighed explosively, unsure on how to properly convey his surprisingly complicated emotions on the issue. The problem wasn't that he struggled to be a 'social butterfly', it was that his father wanted him to make friends and solid bonds with his peers, and Byleth routinely let him down. Well, mostly. He did manage to make friends with Shez, in his world and here! But he was beginning to feel that Shez was an outlier... (the Spiders Georg of Fódlan, you could say). And even then, he'd have to blind not to notice that on occasion he frustrated Shez with his obliviousness to what should be common social cues.]

...what if... I never improve?

[That still didn't quite... cover his true feelings, but Byleth gave up with that. He idly turned the palette on his lap, uncaring that his paintbrush was rolling through the various paints on there and getting the handle all wet and... painty.]

If I don't get better at socialising, or with people, won't you find that exasperating? I know that at times I must be... [What was that term someone used before?] ...high maintenance. I guess I don't want to worry you either.
fishfearme: (look down)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-08-26 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[Byleth peeked up at him at the little nudge against his boot, revealing a brief flash of vulnerability before his usual controlled expression smoothed it out. As always, despite Byleth's verbal fumbling, Shez saw through him and into the heart of the matter.]

...I'd be concerned if I was as high maintenance as a noble.

[An attempt at a joke! Sort of ruined by how flatly it came out, but an attempt nevertheless! He looked away abruptly, then back again, content that he had his expression fully under control by now. His chest... it felt a little odd. Like he had extreme heartburn but without the pain - tight and a little heavy. Maybe it was something he'd eaten recently...]

Sorry. [The apology came out abruptly.] You've said it repeatedly, that you don't care about my oddities and you like me as I am but, still... I guess a part of me...

[He bit the inside of his cheek, thinking on his words, before hesitantly continuing:] ...a part of me is afraid. Emotional pain is more difficult to endure than the physical, and no amount of martial skill or experience will protect you from it. I dislike being vulnerable, and unable to protect myself, so I fret a bit too much about it. You're the only one to be so deep within my guard, after all.

[Why did he feel so nervous? Why did he feel a few breaths away from breaking out into a sweat? Being honest wasn't hard for him, but being honest in this? He felt like he was trying to dismantle a very sensitive magical trap where the slightest misstep would have it blow up in his face! Even his usually steely nerves were quivering!]

But I also trust you, and... I should show that. So, I'll try to stop fretting and second-guessing, and trust you to look after me, Shez.
fishfearme: (cute blush!!!!)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-08-30 12:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, well... you just make it so easy to talk about...

[Byleth practically mumbled his words, peering down at his lap as if it was thoroughly fascinating. It was true, though. Shez was easy to talk to - startlingly so. Whether it was the Shez from his world, or the Shez here, something about them lowered his guard and invited him to speak of things he never would've uttered to another person - not even Jeralt (especially Jeralt regarding the, uh, romance and sex side of things). He should find it alarming, or suspicious but... well. It was Shez. He genuinely did trust him (his other half, not so much).]

If it were anyone else, I wouldn't've said anything.

[Finally he lifted his head, and let out a huff.]

But, I can't keep leaning so heavily on you. I should try to branch out more, instead of staying in the woods away from most people...
fishfearme: (small smile)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-08-31 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
...I think you did.

[Byleth's tone was flat, but there was something almost... playful about it? He held the blank expression for about three seconds before the corners of his mouth tilted up, briefly, into a smile.]

But that's fine. For mercenaries like us, I think we'd get bored quickly if life didn't spring a few surprises on us every now and then.

[Of course, those 'surprises' ended up being battles to the death against various entities (Arval, Shez's doppelganger, those creepy dark mages), but what didn't kill them made them stronger and all that.]
fishfearme: (happy smile!!!)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-09-13 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[Slowly, almost tentatively, Byleth nudged Shez's boot back.]

...I do. I especially want to experience them with you. I heard that friends can make the most tedious of experiences enjoyable in some way, even if it's just a story to share between ourselves afterwards.

[He picked up his paintbrush, making a small tutting noise when it caused paint to smear over his gloved fingers. He pursed his lips slightly before shrugging it off, and put brush to canvas. He didn't paint anything in particular, just swirling lines that felt right and gleamed brightly.]

And I want to share more experiences with you. Even if you consider it 'regular, boring fun', it's still new to me.

[Even sitting here painting with someone was a novel experience for Byleth. Shez - here and in his own world - were constantly exposing him to new 'everyday' things that he never had the chance to enjoy... probably never would've enjoyed, if they hadn't succeeded in burying the hatchet together. Byleth was intensely grateful to him, could never repay him for everything he had done for him, and had a feeling Shez would brush off as 'no big deal' if Byleth ever tried to articulate it (clumsily, knowing him).]
fishfearme: (deadpan)

[personal profile] fishfearme 2023-09-23 09:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Byleth stared at his canvas, with its crimson whirlpool thing and all the red squiggles and god knows what else on there.]

...I have no idea.