seasonsrpg | august & september quests (open)

The way Reiner's talking isn't helping Jean feel any calmer. It's doing the exact opposite. It's making the compass of "fight or flight" rapidly point at flight. Something about Reiner just makes him unease right now, in the middle of a damn lake in a damn ship. Just a few moments ago they were happy they completed the quest and now they were in this weird situation.

He's going to punch Hijikata in the face.

"Or, you could just drop it and be glad you know she's not at least being tortured. How about that?"

Jean's definitely eyeing the water now. Wondering what form to take once he jumped over and how long it might take for him to swim from here. He'd have to leave his backpack. But he has his sword and phone. The most important items. Could he even handle the journey back to the city on his own? It was easy coming this far with Reiner. Funny how things just changed. Well, he would just have to make it. Maybe he'd run into another otherworlder.

Reiner twitches, the mention of the fear that plagued him for months setting his teeth on edge. It makes him remember sleepless nights, doggedly reassuring Bertholdt, fruitlessly fighting Zeke. It reminds him of precisely how helpless he was, unable to do anything but press forward. All because Armin lied to them. All because they trusted Armin, and Armin told them that their comrade was screaming in pain.

Jean eyes the water. Reiner remembers that colorful bird flying to and from the enemy ship, and the cat that scampered away from him. He can't read Jean's mind, but he can make a guess.

"You're thinking of running, aren't you?"

The words aren't accusatory. If anything, they're rather flat. Resigned.

Maybe Reiner should've asked Eren about this. Eren wouldn't know how to back down if his life depended on it. But instead, he'd decided to ask Jean, believing that Jean would be honest with him.

More fool, him.

Jean's train of thought stops at Reiner's question. His eyes widen, his gaze stopping to stare at the waves hitting their ship.

He was about to run away. Run away from an uncomfortable situation he doesn't want to face. Just like he had wanted to run away from the titans to the safety of the inner walls. Run away from facing the demons of his death. He always wanted to run away. It's his turn to grib the railing of the ship so hard his knuckles are white.

His own decision from years ago echoes in his mind: I won't run away anymore. He swore he'd stop making excuses. Swore he'd stop being a coward and face what scared him or made him uncomfortable. What was he doing now? Exactly what he swore he wouldn't do.

It's a long, unnerving silence until Jean finally slaps both of his cheeks, as if to bring himself back from whatever place he had driven himself into. Aaah, he's so pissed off. Mostly at himself, but generally at the whole situation.

He breathes in, deeply and loudly, a few times and then turns to face Reiner, eyes filled with a newfound determination and with no hesitation at all.

"First of all. You're a fucking hypocrite, Reiner. Demanding I tell you about my mission, when you've never talked about yours."

Now that he can finally think clearly again, he can see that. As well as the messed up way Reiner was insisting on this. As well as the fact there was nothing stopping him from telling what happened.

"But you got most of it right. Eren, Mikasa and Armin pretended to ask her to help Eren escape Stohess, but instead they tried to lure her underground. She figured what they were up to and transformed, tried to escape. Eren chased her and they fought. She climbed the wall, but Mikasa cut her titan's fingers. Eren was holding her down as they started to get her out, but she encased herself in her crystal."

Said like that, it sounded like Jean had really no part in the thing, but he'd get there, if Reiner asked what his part was. But there was the gist of it.

During the tense silence that follows Reiner's words, he doesn't move, nor does he take his eyes off Jean. Mentally, he's preparing himself for Jean's departure. He's considering his options. He's spinning theories about what Jean might be hiding. What they all might be hiding.

Jean is hiding things. Historia is hiding things. Hange and Levi are hiding things. Fuck, even Eren is hiding things.

It's a fitting punishment, withholding information when Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie did the exact same thing. Reiner supposes he shouldn't blame the Scouts for that.

But he does. Of course he does.

Jean rounds on him, then, calling him a fucking hypocrite. It's a fitting title, and one Reiner doesn't argue. He just stands there, hands still tight on the railing, watching as Jean lays into him. Listening as Jean finally tells him what happened.

Reiner can see it so clearly: Annie realizing what going underground would mean and balking. Her decision to make a run for it. Eren pursuing, the Attack Titan as fast as the Female. Climbing the wall with hardened fingertips, only to have her fingers cut. She must've been exhausted if she couldn't harden them in protection or swipe Mikasa away. Then Eren pinned her Titan, and she resorted to the only thing that could save her.

There must've been more to it, though. More people involved to push Annie to run. Otherwise, she could've defeated Eren and bit him from his Titan's nape.

He inclines his head slightly, his voice still tinged with resignation as he asks, "And you?"

What was Jean's role in it?

It's eerie, how Reiner's demeamor doesn't change a lot. How he feels so resigned. It's dawning on him that just needing to ask this from him was probably a lot. He'd rather ask Annie about it. Well, the best scenario would be if he didn't have to ask at all. Obviously all of that made Reiner be on the edge. But his way of asking about it was definitely wrong. Jean felt so cornered it was hard to think, so he reacted badly.

But now he was thinking clearer again. He could make the decision if he could share information on his own: If the answers would ease Reiner's mind in any way, then it was worth it.

Even if this bit is still embarrassing as hell.

"... I was just Eren's double. I needed to pretend to be him to distract the Military Police. Afterwards I didn't fight, but I did see the ending."

Jean was Eren's double? Reiner thinks about it for a moment, then nods.

"That makes sense," he says. "You're both pretty."

Under different circumstances, it could sound like a joke or even a flirtatious remark. But Reiner states it as a simple fact, his tone unchanging.

Eren is pretty, as is Jean. Therefore, Jean could act as Eren's double, fooling people who didn't know Eren personally. All he would need is darker hair. And a smaller stature, of course—but Jean used to be much shorter than he is now. Maybe all Jean had to do was stay seated.

It doesn't answer all of Reiner's questions. It doesn't explain who else was involved or what happened to render Annie unable to defeat Eren. However, it may be that Jean doesn't know those answers. Besides, Reiner can make a few guesses.

Jean huffs, totally expecting Reiner to say they had the same mean look, like villains.

"Yeah, yeah that's what Armin-"

Wait. What. Pretty? Did Reiner just call him pretty?!

"REINER WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Reiner jerks in surprise, taken aback by Jean's abrupt shift in mood. He immediately raises his hands in a placating gesture, as if to ward off the sudden shout.

"What?" he asks, plainly confused. "What did I—"

Then it clicks.

"… Oh, come on, Jean," Reiner says, dropping his hands with a little sigh. "That's an objective fact. You're both pretty. I'm not hitting on you."

He likes his balls where they are, thanks!

Jean is still blushing and now glaring, too.

"We-Well you don't just say it suddenly like that to another guy! Besides, I'm never called 'pretty'." Mikasa's called him a lot of things, but not pretty.

At least it did calm down the pretty tense atmosphere a bit.

Reiner looks a bit surprised at that. He calls Eren such things all the time. But then again, Mikasa was reserved back in the day; maybe that hasn't changed.

"Well," Reiner says, unsure if or how he should apologize. "Sorry I was your first time?"

It's half a joke, but honestly! How could he have known that no one else had called Jean pretty?

Wha--

"DON'T MAKE IT WORSE, JACKASS!"

Seriously! Of all the things to say or even half-joke about!!

Jean sighs a deep sigh. Still red, but determined to change the subject back on track.

"Do you have any questions about the previous subject?"

Reiner can't help it: he snorts a laugh, quickly covering it with a hand. He's not laughing at Jean's embarrassment. It's just such a normal thing to do, teasing a friend. For a moment, he feels like an average teenage boy. Like a soldier having fun with a comrade.

But before his mind can slip too far, Jean asks about the previous subject. Again, Reiner appears slightly surprised. Then his eyes go distant. Unfocused. Staring inward, not outward.

Reiner blinks, focus returning. He drops his hand, his smile having fallen away.

"No, I… No." Reiner's hands find the railing again, resting far more lightly than before. "… I'm sorry I pushed like that, Jean. I just…" His gaze drifts to the side. "I needed to know what happened to her."

Jean blush quietly fades away, calming down from the sudden comedy relief moment. It was sudden and expected and ... sort of weirdly uplifting to know someone like Reiner thought he was actually pretty?? Being called horse face all his training years kinda dropped his self-esteem. But this wasn't the time or place to think about that.

Back to the reality of the situation. What they were talking about before. Jean huffs slightly at the apology.

"I mean, you're under a lot of pressure, being the only one of your gang around", he says with a shrug. "But still, had you asked differently, I'd have answered faster. The way you went with it made me feel like I was under interrogation."

He only got back some clarity after being accused of running away. Now he was a lot calmer and while he still wouldn't say anything about Armin being a key to uncovering their secrets, he would answer questions honestly otherwise.

But he had questions of his own.

"Hijikata... what exactly did he say to you? Spare no details."

His expression is serious and borderline angry.

Edited 2023-09-19 10:20 (UTC)

Reiner winces slightly, although it's unclear whether it's at the (very fair) observation that he approached the situation like an interrogation, or at the reminder that he's alone. Not that Reiner needs that reminder. Not when the sheer weight of it hit him anew during that conversation with Hijikata, the loneliness he'd grown accustomed to suddenly swallowing him whole.

He looks back to Jean, noting the anger lurking just beneath the surface. Did Reiner look similar when he pushed for answers? He has no way to know.

"The first part of our conversation isn't important." Reiner raises a hand as if to ward off an objection. "I'm not trying to avoid answering you; it was just weird. It started with a misunderstanding: the two of us were talking about different things. Then Hijikata began insisting that I was part of a harem."

Reiner spreads his hands in a gesture best described as, What the fuck, right?

"He got it in his head that since I was visiting a friend, I must be that friend's concubine. He claimed to be there for a 'harem inspection.' Do the police even do that here?"

Distantly, Reiner is aware that he is delaying the inevitable. After all, he himself said that the first part of that conversation wasn't important. Yet here he is, explaining it.

Edited (wording) 2023-09-19 10:52 (UTC)

Jean's expression does turn into a very confused one. Still rather serious, but also a very 'what the fuck' to mirror Reiner's gesture. A harem inspection? Hijikata had been on some sort of a secret mission in Solarpeak, or so he claimed.

"If they do, which I doubt, he'd have been doing it for at least a month", Jean says. "He never really told us what he was doing in Solarpeak the whole month so we assumed it was some police mission, but that sounds dump even for him."

He really, really doubts the Law Enforcement here would care about an otherworlders' harem so much they'd assign a cop to inspect it.

"And the important part?"

Reiner returns his hands the railing, satisfied that Jean thinks it was a weird encounter, too. But now… Well, it's as Jean says: time for the important part.

"I asked who told him about me." Realizing that may require explanation, he adds, "Back when we first ran into each other, his demeanor completely flipped when he heard my name. He called me 'Armored Titan,' so I knew it was one of you." Reiner shrugs. "I wanted to know who. It was the first decent chance I had to ask him.

"He said the person who told him was you."

The way that Reiner says those words is careful. Deliberate. Trying not to let on how much it hurt to hear that. (Trying. Not entirely succeeding.)

Quickly, Reiner presses on. "Then he mentioned some things that you couldn't know. I pressed him, and he admitted that he's been talking to Hange and Levi." His brow furrows into a scowl, his displeasure evident. "Apparently, they had a nice chit-chat about my life.

"I told him off for boasting about Annie's capture and advised to shut his mouth about her. Then he asked some things that were none of his damn business." He shrugs again, a gesture far more agitated than dismissive, directing his scowl at the water.

Jean's gaze falls when Reiner says Hijikata told him who had talked about him. He doesn't say anything until Reiner's finished explaining, but he has to explain a bit of what happened.

"... it was right after our first meeting here. I was agitated. I wanted to vent and told him what my opinion was back then", Jean says, in all honesty. "I didn't think he'd go off the dark end and start antagonizing you so badly". Or maybe he did and didn't care. Now he did. "We even fought about you, later. He didn't understand why I didn't want to hurt you for everything you did. Why I was so casual about you all of a sudden."

It was probably a little odd that he went from 'I hate him' to 'I symphatize with him' so fast, but his own recent phase in life helped with that a lot. And remembering the good times.

Levi and Hange discussing Reiner's life... how much did they know about it nowadays? A lot more than Jean does, that's for sure. Maybe he should cash on that promise with Reiner sometime. Ask about his origin. He sure as hell wouldn't ask from other people when he could ask the source.

"What things? I need to know... so I can properly yell at him once we get back."

Jean's explanation adds far more context than Reiner hoped to receive. It eases that lingering pain in his chest, the thought that Jean might have nothing but hateful things to say about him.

(Reiner would deserve nothing less. He knows that. But he can't help wanting something else.)

He's taken aback when Jean says that he fought with Hijikata. So taken aback that he isn't sure how he feels about it. Happy? Bewildered? Curious? All three, probably, plus a few other things.

But Reiner puts those feelings aside for now, nodding in response to Jean's explanation. Then his own gaze falls, and he forces himself to say the rest. Jean deserves that much, especially after enduring Reiner's interrogation.

"… He asked me if it was worth it," Reiner says, his voice dull. Hollow. "If I'd wanted to go home during all those years. If I still want to go home."

For a moment, Reiner is silent, his shoulders unconsciously curling inward. Then he shrugs one more time, as though he might rid himself of the weight he carries.

"It made everything fresh again. I haven't…" He trails off, then forces something that might charitably be called a chuckle. "I can't get it out of my head."

A cold feeling rushes through Jean. If this was Empatheias he'd be forming a storm, but there's no sign of one here now. Just the calm waters beneath the ship and a light pleasant breeze. It didn't fit the emotions Jean was feeling at all.

"Did he now", he mutters. It's the calm, silent sort of rage that comes on the outside. It's the kind of thoughtless thing Hijikata would ask, but he had hoped he wouldn't. That he'd actually think for once what was okay to ask.

Jean looks at Reiner as he says it made everything fresh and he nods. "Yeah, I can... understand that. I'm sorry for him. He's such a thoughtless asshole sometimes."

It feels like Reiner needs an explanation as to what Jean and Hijikata's relation is, so he moves onto explain that. "I've known him since the previous world. We've become close. Close enough that we're sworn brothers. So he's likely a bit overprotective, otrher than easily influenced by the memory portals." He pauses before adding. "I also have a sworn sister by the name Mukuro. She might also react to hearing your name. But she's far less aggressive about things, unless you actually do something."

As Jean apologizes for Hijikata's questions, Reiner shakes his head, looking to the side. The answers were none of Hijikata's business: Reiner thought so then and now. But he understands why Hijikata would ask. Hijikata only knows the story from Paradis' perspective; from that point of view, the Warriors' actions must seem incomprehensible.

But the questions still dug into Reiner. They still brought it all back.

They still made this precious stolen time feel more fragile than ever.

Reiner returns his gaze to Jean as Jean explains further. He's not sure what "sworn brothers" means, precisely. But he thinks of Annie, who he recently admitted is like a sister to him, and he nods.

"I've met Mukuro," Reiner says, happy to grab hold of a different subject. "It was a few weeks after I got here. She was surprised to hear my name, too. She told me not to hurt you here; I said I didn't intend to, and she left it at that. It made things more awkward than tense. I left the situation pretty quickly."

Considering how adept Reiner typically is at navigating social situations—even awkward ones—that likely says a lot.

"I saw her again recently. We teamed up for a quest. I liked working with her." Reiner shifts his weight, adding, "I joined up with Hijikata on a recent quest, too. That wasn't intentional, but I couldn't just walk off and leave him alone in a Segment."

Never mind the fact that Reiner had been alone, too, save for his Turtwig.

"It went all right. Much better than I expected. So, I guess he satisfied his need for answers."

Jean's happy to hear that Reiner had gotten along with Mukuro on a quest even after their awkward first meeting. And also a little surprised Reiner and Hijikata got along for a quest.

But both of those emotions are overshadowed by a fact Reiner reveals. Another thing to nag to Hijikata about and something Jean can move onto as a subject now with Reiner.

"What were you thinking, going out to the Segments alone? It's dangerous. You should always go with someone else."

For a moment, Reiner stares at Jean with complete incomprehension, his face blank as he tries (and fails) to keep up. Then his lips part.

"Huh?"

It's not a challenging sound. It's a small, automatic sound of pure confusion. Then Reiner seems to catch up, shaking his head.

"It wasn't a high-risk quest," he says. "I'm always careful."

Always. Because yes, Reiner has headed off into a Segment alone on far more than one occasion.

Always. Jean does remember his titan transformation when he was feeling cold. He had been alone then, too.

Jean's expression turns more serious and a little bit anxious and his hands is shaking a little. Clearly he's distressed about the thought of Reiner wandering the segments alone.

"You don't understand. It's dangerous to go out alone. Anything could happen! Natural catastrophes can strike anytime, the monsters are stronger than you think... there's even the dark energy that can hinder with your natural abilities! What if it could stop you from transforming into a titan? You could die!"

Edited 2023-09-20 00:45 (UTC)

Reiner's eyes widen. Not just at what Jean is saying, which is harrowing enough. Reiner had no idea that the power of the Titans could be interfered with in such a way. He knew magic could damage him, making his body freeze from the inside out—but even then, the Armored still lay just a few blood drops away. The thought of not being able to transform at all is appalling.

But Reiner is also watching Jean's reaction. Realizing what Jean means when he says that Reiner could die.

Because Jean died. Jean died, and he wasn't even alone in a Segment. He took all the precautions that Reiner himself often overlooks.

If something tore away Reiner's ability to transform, could he find himself in the same situation? He doesn't know. But Jean certainly thinks it's a possibility.

So even though Reiner's concern for his own safety remains questionable, he nods.

"Okay. You're right, Jean." Reiner's voice is calm but not placating; he means what he's saying. "I only have Autumn powers, and they're not fully developed. They're tricky to use in a fight. Plus, I rely on my Titan too often as it is."

Something that might sound odd to his Marleyan superiors. But all those years spent undercover in Paradis reinforced Reiner's opinion that he needs to be as well-rounded a soldi— a Warrior as possible.

He nods again. "I'll take someone else from now on."

august & september quests (open)

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