[Open] Just the Honest Truth

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

WHO: Sun Wukong and YOU
WHAT: Just heading home after a successful trip out.
WHEN: August 12th
WHERE: Blossomcrown and Red Son's house.
WARNINGS: Carefree attitudes, and total honesty (prompted or not)


Blossomcrown

[Mission accomplished! Man it feels good to reward yourself for good work. It's a nice day and he's got a pair of soft pelts rolled under one arm as he walks home. He could have just flown the rest of the way, but stretching his legs is good and he wants to take in things from ground-level today.

Really, the only downside was being bit in the tail by this weird mushroom, but it's not like it really hurt much so it's just a little detail in the back of his mind. Nothing to worry about, especially because he doesn't know the consequences yet.]


Red Son's House

I'm home!

[Walking inside, he listens around for any signs of life besides the growing zoo they're starting. He's not going to be surprised to hear Red Son in his workshop, but it's getting close to dinnertime which means it's almost time to drag him out anyway.

As for MK, well he's as likely to be here as he isn't. That kid's a real doer. He smiles at the thought as he closes the door and squats to greet the two Pokemon.

Have you two been keeping Red Son from overdoing it~?

Comments

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

I might not be the science-y or planning type, but Saya is hurting. It doesn't mean anything how much I like her. She opened up to me, asked me to make sure you don't stay holed up in your workshop, and she's accepted me flaws and all despite your pain.

The least I could do is provide a seal to try to slow her cycle. If I can do more, I will.

[forgingfires]

Yes, that tracks. [There is a reason he was against the blood drinking. He knows Saya fairly well.]

....would a seal work? She operates differently than us. Its all very much based on chemicals and biological things, no magic or spiritualism.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

You can seal pretty much anything if you're careful enough. Don't forget, my waterfall seal is just a locked door. Nothing goes in or out that I didn't allow access. You just need to be able to see what you want to seal.

All I was trying to do was slow the countdown. I figured it might buy you some time.

[forgingfires]

You already did it?

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

She asked me to help her. And she trusted me, so yeah.

[forgingfires]

Ah.

[He sets down the chopsticks.]

[He stares at the curry.]

[Man, feelings are extra hard when you're dancing around your recent deep trauma.]

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

Yeah, it didn't stop it, but it looked like you've got an extra couple of weeks to figure whatever out. I even made it so it won't be in your way.

[He's genuinely perking up again.]

It's a good thing she remembered enough to let me try.

[forgingfires]

...it must have meant something to her. The emotional memories were more responsive.

[He's still staring at the curry.]

[Red Son.exe is very slow to process.]

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

Yeah. Probably did. It did to me.

[forgingfires]

....

She got under your fur fast, didn't she?

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

What can I say?

Saya just...she listens, she understands and we're really not that different at our cores. And...she's the first person who's ever said that I'm enough as I am and that I'm worthy of trust.

[forgingfires]

Yes, she does that.

She was the first person to offer to help me save my family, no ulterior motives or aligned goals involved. Just...to help me help them. [Saya is very good at finding the one thing that really gets at a core of a person.]

I'm surprised the Noodle Boy didn't say that first, actually. He's essentially said the latter to me on numerous occasions. Even when it would have been extremely ill advised to.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

That doesn't surprise me.

Probably because he doesn't know I haven't been feeling like that around his friends. I know he trusts me and wants me around.

But Saya is the first to say it. To make it clear that there are no conditions to being friends. I'm not to shady or selfish, or annoying. I'm not literally being forced to change. She didn't approach me because I'm the strongest, or anything.

[forgingfires]

Really? I'm surprised. Isn't the scholar at least a reincarnation? [Any of the rest of them could be blood relative, but its not like Tang Sanzang had any direct descendants and for that level of resemblance from another branch of his family didn't seem as likely.]

Saya doesn't apply conditions. She is...rather open minded. Its not as if I make my part in our world a secret, but she accepted it anyway.

But she is burdened by having to change for others. Its no surprise she wouldn't wish that pressure on others.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

That literally doesn't mean anything. Our friendship is still only because of MK, and how deep that goes depends on how they all feel I'm affecting MK.

She did mention that too.

I'm glad. I don't think there is a right way for me to change anymore. So I'm going to do the best with who I am.

[forgingfires]

Well, most of them do seem to view MK as their child to a certain extent. But it is strange. I was never sure about memories lasting beyond reincarnation was truth or just wishful thinking, but with how they all found each other, it did lend some credence to the former. But then they'd be drawn to you...and it certainly doesn't explain the whole deal with MK in that instance.

[Things he has WONDERED about, but never really thought he could ask about, because seriously, what is that whole situation.]

[He snorts, just a bit more life in his words.] There was your problem. 'Right way' is a loaded idea. Its like saying perfection is possible. And that way just leads to haunted bones.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

I know, right? But yeah. They'ver made it very clear that they don't really approve of how I do things with MK.

[He's given that no thought, because he doesn't want to dwell.]

Yeah, well, when I say right, I mean in a way that doesn't make everyone hold every decision I've ever made over my head because apparently I'm wrong no matter what.

[Someone's getting sensitive.]

[forgingfires]

Again, they view MK as their child. If someone MK trusted was pulling him into constant bad decisions and getting him into dangerous situations, wouldn't you be irate with them, even if you really liked them otherwise?

[He stares at that. The frown deepening.]






[He sighs, rubbing at his face and straightens up.]

That is the problem with you heroes, you know. [But there is no spite or venom in his rooms.] You want everyone to be happy, or else its 'wrong.'

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

And that's exactly my point.

[He sighs.]

So how would you handle it exactly? When I was doing what I thought I wanted to have the life I wanted, I was sealed away with my only freedom coming when there was use for me. I'm the only one who was sealed. My brothers all abandoned me as soon as I was locked away, so I didn't get what I wanted.

Then I learned a better path, and it cost me everything. My brothers decided I was a traitor well before I was willing and turned on me, and after everything I had nothing to go back to.

I try to keep them out of my business and I'm wrong for abandoning him. I let them come along but don't tell them about the fourth ring so they don't worry that Mei was in danger then I'm wrong and hurting MK by dragging him into my messes.

So where is the problem with me wanting to not feel like there's no right answer? No matter which path I take, what choice I've made I'm wrong.

[forgingfires]

....

[He takes another bite of his food.]

Do you want the answer that is for someone trying to be a hero, or the answer I would do?

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

Yeah, I do. No other situations. Just that.

[He watches Red Son intently.]

[forgingfires]

Narrow your focus.

I know the Noodle Boy and Dragon Girl make a big deal of my 'heroics,' and try to act like I'm some kind of secretly good person because I'm so quick to assist.

But in the end, all those heroics and good deeds happen because my reasons are simple. I want to save my parents, and that means saving the world. Despite my better judgement, I liked the Noodle Boy and Dragon Girl, so I dragged them out of the desert.

When you plan things on the scale of the world, that is when you invite pain.

You weren't content in just being strong, you wanted to be the strongest, and that invited pain.

Father wanted to conquer the world, and that invited pain.

Noodle Boy wants to save everyone, and that invites pain.

Of course, there is still plenty of avenues for pain, but at least its both easier to predict and find a way to head it off. You know what you're doing wrong. It doesn't become a nasty surprise, its just the thing you accepted to keep what you want for as long as possible even though you know it will end badly.

But you're also more motivated to solve the interpersonal issues instead of being concerned with what everyone else thinks.

You don't get concerned when people hate you when they have every right to, because you're able to help those who are of actual concern to you.

And openness of plans. No one likes being surprised by their roles in a plan.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

What I wanted was to be strong enough to be able to lay around on my island with my friends, getting fat on fruit without being threatened by anyone.

...could you just narrow your focus if your family abandoned you and then treated you like a traitor?

And could you just focus on what matters when everything you do is wrong? How do you do that if no matter how you handle it is wrong?

Those are the things there doesn't seem to even be an answer for.

Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have tried to protect her. But I did what I thought I had to.

[forgingfires]

I don't think you needed to be the Jade Emperor to achieve that.

I would probably throw myself into the ocean if they did and never come up again. Unless this was the very likely scenario that I was considered as such because of Mei and MK, in which case, they would likely not let me do that.

As for doing everything wrong...

You keep trying. You figure out what definitely did not work, don't repeat that, and try again.

Over.

And over.

And over again.

Make new methods if it comes to that.

Because letting failure win just means all of it was worthless.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

To be fair, that was Azure's idea. Everyone else wanted him on the throne, except for Macaque. He didn't want us to fight at all. I'd tempted to say he was right, but then you wouldn't exist.

That's an option you have. I didn't.

I haven't given up. MK needs me. But I'm also not a loner. I never have been. So being constantly judged by the people I'm around the most does start to hurt. I keep it to myself, shrug it off and move on. But especially after being in the scroll it's pretty obvious I'm the problem.