Fate/Hate Boner, Part... I Lost Track

[mayoninofukucho]

WHO: Hijikata and OPEN
WHAT: Hijikata tries to deal with his spectacular fuck-up!
WHEN: August 1st (a couple of days after Medusa first turned into Gorgon)
WHERE: Sunwaning and/or Solarpeak
WARNINGS: Unwarranted Manpain (OK no, he'll try to take responsibility!!)

[OOC: This is yet another little chapter of the ongoing drama between Hijikata, Medusa, and Ozymandias (and their friends and affiliates, and innocent bystanders too)!

Associated posts (for anyone who would like to follow along at home):

OOC Plotting
Hijikata starting the whole shitshow by siccing Medusa on Ozymandias
Ozymandias live-shaming a consequently petrified Hijikata
Quest: Going Gorgon

This installment is mostly for people who want their characters to give him a talking-to in person, but rest assured that he's got the pet-shaming sign on him, and further additions are being retroactively added!]


[When Hijikata regained consciousness he was at home, not at the Secret Getaway, and in front of him was his mentee Shoto, caught between concern and relief... not his suddenly tall-as-a-house, winged and snake-bodied Servant Medusa.

Naturally the most important items ("Why am I here", "What date is it", "How did you get me unpetrified") were addressed first, and all the answers - that Shoto took him home from Solarpeak after Ozymandias brought him there, that a couple of days elapsed between now and when he last saw Medusa, that Shoto sacrificed White Amaryllis, the sword forged out of his admiration for his mentor - drove it home more and more deeply that he made a colossal, terrible mistake.

Hijikata wanted to stay with Shoto, somehow make up for his sacrifice, reassure him, answer his many questions... but he simply couldn't leave Medusa alone out there in that state. So he made up a convincing lie (another thing to feel bad about later, because damn it, why does this boy put so much trust in him), promising to be back very soon, and set out - not to where he said he'd go, but towards the Summer Guild's headquarters.

Shoto-kun said she's in the Jungle of Judgement. I just need to teleport to the Temple of Life, and then--!

And then what?, a voice in his head asks. Medusa - no, Gorgon - is draining his mana. All of it. He felt her suck it all up like a giant maelstrom when she first transformed out there, and he can still feel it now, despite the distance between them. The remaining two Command Seals on the back of his hand - the third smudged and blackened, as if it was burned up - are testament to their bond still existing. Shit. Rider...

He stops, trying to form some kind of plan, but it comes back down to just: I'm her Master, I need to help her. But how can he do that now when he can't even summon enough of a fireball to light a cigarette anymore? Maybe he can undo this with another Command Spell..? He stares at the red triple tomoe (now just a double tomoe, really). Won't this only make it worse..? But this is my duty, isn't it?

(If anybody notices his weird behaviour... please stop this man. He's done enough!)]

Comments

[kerontribution]

Human.

[When Oryou sees Hijitaka, she zips to directly in front of him, floating at a height where they're at eye level with each other so he can get a really good view of her narrowed pupils.

She Is Mad.]

Where are you going?

[mayoninofukucho]

Oryou!

[He sounds... relieved?!]

Oryou, I've got to help Medusa. She got too much energy from my Command Seal and turned huge!

[And lost her mind, I think. And before that happened, she was in serious distress because she didn't want to do what I made her do. (But he doesn't say those things.)]

[kerontribution]

[He can get to be relieved for just a moment before Oryou punches him in the face. And she's not holding back, either.]

You betrayed her. The best thing you can do for her now is stay far away.

After her own fight with the Gorgon

[sangreine]

[ Saya's on her way to the Guilds as well, just a pit stop after a very hard -- equally matched -- fight with the Gorgon. She's spattered with blood but the skin beneath her torn clothes is long healed over. Thank goodness for her magic resistance, or she'd be a statue out in the jungle herself. ]

[ Spotting Hijikata, she's overwhelmed with irritation and anger. Whether he's trying to help (and she's sure he is) is irrelevant, really. He's no match for his Servant as she currently is, and in fact he might make things substantially worse. ]

[ There's a blur of movement and suddenly Saya is blocking his way. She looks most unhappy... which is like facing off with a hungry lion that's about to pounce at you. ]

Don't.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Okay, yeah, Oryou packs a punch. Hijikata is usually good at keeping his balance after being hit, but this time he flat-out lands on his ass on the pavement. The bruise almost immediately starts forming, too (though it'll only change colours later).]

But-- she needs help!! Also I didn't-- I didn't think I was betraying her, I thought I was helping her!

[kerontribution]

Oryou told you Command Spells can make Servants do things they don't want to do. Maybe someone should take control of your body and make you fight your friend and see how you feel about it.

[mayoninofukucho]

[He visibly gets a bit startled when Saya shows up so suddenly and covered in blood, and barely relaxes when she doesn't attack him (look, after the doppelgänger encounter he half-expected it to be that sort of thing again!)]

You don't even know what I'm doing!

[mayoninofukucho]

I didn't--

...

[Oryou did tell him that. He listened and understood, too. And yet he felt so confident using the Command Spell on Medusa. It's Ozymandias' fault. If he hadn't walked all over her..!! But then why was Medusa in so much anguish when she contacted him telpathically for the first time, begging him to call off the command?]

Ozymandias isn't her friend.

[His voice doesn't sound quite as assured as he'd like it to.]

[sangreine]

[ She huffs, half scoff and half sarcastic chuckle. ]

Is it heading out to the Jungle of Judgment to try making a worse mess than you already made?

[ She gestures at herself and the bloody mess she is. ] Who do you think did this to me? You'll be dead in three seconds, and then once she recovers her senses she'll have the death of her Master on her conscience along with everything else.

Absolutely not. You'll have to go through me. [ And they both know he couldn't manage that on his best day, which this does not look to be. ]

[kerontribution]

He's loud and annoying and he gets on Oryou's nerves, but he isn't bad. Lots of Servants get along with him.

[mayoninofukucho]

[That revelation does take him aback.]

You fought my Rider? Is-- is she--

[He breaks off. Of course she's not okay. He lifts his hand to show his remaining Command Seals.]

Brute force won't help. I can use up one of these to tell her to go back to normal!

[mayoninofukucho]

How come?! He is so arrogant! See, you don't like him either! He thinks he'd better than everyone!

[But Napoleon, for one, despite sighing about Ozymandias' ego, still seems happy enough to be his concubine, doesn't he..? No. He just wants to stay around him to do damage control! I saw that with my own eyes when he defused our fight that one time!]

He shouldn't think that he's better than Medusa!

[kerontribution]

He thinks he's better than everyone because he's a king and human kings are like that. But he isn't mean about it like some kings.

[There are a lot of kings in Chaldea, she knows the different kinds.]

He's very worried about her and upset for her.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Well, he can't argue that... kings do tend to be like that, don't they? There's a nagging little feeling in the back of his mind, a tiny voice that tells him that Ozymandias could easily have disposed of him after he ended up petrified, but chose not to. Was it out of consideration for Medusa? But he, as her Master, got her into this situation to begin with...]

...

If I died, would she be able to go back to normal?

[triompheduhimbo]

--Annnd where do you think you're going, huh?

[ That would be Napoleon's hand on Hijikata's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. ]

Good to see you're not a statue anymore.

[ It is sincerely said, but it's also not nearly as jovial as his tone usually gets, missing that cheerfulness he usually had. ]

[kerontribution]

No, so don't do anything stupid like that. She'll calm down after a while, so you should just stay at home and think about what you've done.

[She'd feel bad if Hijikata died, even if this is 100% his fault.]

[sangreine]

[ Saya can see that he's feeling horrible and frantic, so she softens ever so slightly. ]

You can't go out there half-cocked and just hope you manage to use one of those before something awful happens. If going out there is the right call then you need a better plan than "get her" and you need some help.

...I understand that you're probably feeling desperate to fix your mistakes, but I've lived the nightmare she's going through. If you're going to lay yourself on the chopping block, you'd better be able to tell her later that you did it with as little risk to yourself and others as you possibly could.

[mayoninofukucho]

Napoleon...

[As always, Napoleon's presence calms Hijikata down, but this time it also makes the guilt in his chest feel as heavy as a millstone. By causing Medusa to go berserk like that he hurt him, too, didn't he? Napoleon has been such a good friend to her, someone she could rely on completely whenever Hijikata was indisposed. Someone welcoming, someone warm-hearted...

All the stubbornness and determination that he still very fiercely upheld underneath his distress and worry simply crumbles away.]

Napoleon, what do I do? I'm so sorry! I've got to be able to help her somehow!

[mayoninofukucho]

She'll calm down on her own..? But... there's got to be something I can do!

[Just sitting with his thoughts would be torment right now! More importantly, he must have some use as her Master is this situation!]

What do other Masters do when something like this happens?

[kerontribution]

...Usually other Masters don't care about their Servant's feelings, so they'd just use another Command Spell to get them to calm down.

But if you do that after hurting her with one already, she'll be even more upset with you. So Oryou doesn't think you should.

[Unfortunately, other Masters are generally bad.]

[triompheduhimbo]

[ ...It's hard to stay mad at a guy who looks that broken up.

Not that Napoleon was especially mad at him. Upset at the situation? Oh yeah. Worried about Medusa? Absolutely. But the anger was over all short lived compared to worrying about his fellow Servant. Hijikata made a dumb mistake and didn't really think through the consequences, but he also didn't know them. Medusa didn't exactly advertise what had happened to her... ]

It's not me you got to apologize to, mon ami. But...

[ A deep, deep sigh. ]

Honestly, the best thing you can do for her is to stay safe here.

[ How to explain this...? ]

--Do you remember what you saw in my other 'self's Memory? That Giant made of Fire?

[mayoninofukucho]

Right. Okay.

[He takes a deep breath, trying to collect his wits, and thinks quietly for a moment. In the back of his mind he's very grateful for Saya's calm and rational mind, because he's really struggling to keep his own together right now.]

I... I think I could technically use the Command Seal even here, and she'd still have to obey.

[The way he almost winces at his own words shows that he knows full well how shitty it is to force his will on Medusa again - but if even Saya can't wrangle her into submission, then who or what can?]

I just-- I just want to help her calm down. Nothing else.

[mayoninofukucho]

[He looks at the red symbols on his hand. It'd be easy, wouldn't it... he's not attached to them at all. If burning one more will help Medusa, then it's a no-brainer. But Oryou, so far, has been a lot wiser than him about these things.]

...

Are you sure it's not worth it? She can be upset with me, as long as she doesn't suffer more. With the last one, then, I'll do something that'll make her happy, whatever it is. Whatever she wants.

[sangreine]

I know. [ She does know. He's not a bad person even if he made a careless, selfish, frankly gross choice that now Rider is paying for. ]

I think you owe it to her to consider whether it's the best thing to override her free will again. What you did... I don't know all the details, but it sounds like you commanded her to do something she didn't want to do which, as someone who had my own servants, is a pretty big violation of the bond between you two.

So right now you need to focus on what she needs and not what is best for your guilt. Maybe it's using those things again, I don't know. But right now, neither do you.

[ She rests a hand on his shoulder. ] Let's sit down. Tell me what happened. Think it through. And then if the right thing to do is for you to go out there, I'll go with you. [ She doesn't think that would be the right thing, but if it somehow is then she'll make sure he stays safe. Not for his sake, but for Rider's. ]

[mayoninofukucho]

Yes. I remember.

[That giant was huge. It looked undefeatable, yet... somehow, Napoleon managed. Hijikata's stomach is upset from how distressed he feels, so he tries to just focus on what Napoleon is saying. He needs to keep it together.]