[Hijikata hasn't realised just yet how important Hange and Levi are to each other, but from the way Levi says those words, part of him can tell - and he knows that feeling. He thinks of Prismatica, of how by some mercy Mitsuba was among the half-dozen people from his world who were called there. The last time he went back there, in between Avalon and Ellipsa, she was doing well. She was smiling and laughing. (But he only saw her from afar, because even after everything, he still doesn't think that he could make her happy, all the less since he always has to return to Edo.)
But of course this isn't just about one dear person dying before their time. It's about millions. 4/5 of humanity. All because, apparently, two people with control over far too many titans deemed total annihilation the best course of action. It's really difficult to imagine destruction of that scope (and he frankly doesn't want to try too hard).
As for Gabi, Hijikata hasn't met her yet (but he will, sooner than he knows, in the Temple of Life), however Jean mentioned her to him, so he can at least mentally map her as another survivor of the titan apocalypse. And speaking of Jean... of course he won't tell him or Mikasa about any of these things. It would be a cruelty.]
...
[There's a long, heavy silence in the air between the two men. Hijikata feels like he unwittingly turned the tables a little, given that they went from Levi needling him about what happened in the Winter Segment to Hijikata pressing him for information about the worse events on his homeworld, but he certainly doesn't feel smug or victorious about it. His shin is still throbbing, his gut is still churning a little, but his head hurts worse of all.
What is there to say? "I'm sorry"? "Well, at least not everyone died"? It'd all feel either lacking or cynical. In the end, when the silence has stretched to the point where it feels somehow possible to cycle back to the previous conversation, he offers the only productive thing he can think of saying.]
...
I'll take better care of Jean next time.
[Because Jean is his sworn brother, because Jean matters to many others including Levi, but now also because Jean, too, is a precious survivor from a world that suffered more than any other he knows of.
no subject
But of course this isn't just about one dear person dying before their time. It's about millions. 4/5 of humanity. All because, apparently, two people with control over far too many titans deemed total annihilation the best course of action. It's really difficult to imagine destruction of that scope (and he frankly doesn't want to try too hard).
As for Gabi, Hijikata hasn't met her yet (but he will, sooner than he knows, in the Temple of Life), however Jean mentioned her to him, so he can at least mentally map her as another survivor of the titan apocalypse. And speaking of Jean... of course he won't tell him or Mikasa about any of these things. It would be a cruelty.]
...
[There's a long, heavy silence in the air between the two men. Hijikata feels like he unwittingly turned the tables a little, given that they went from Levi needling him about what happened in the Winter Segment to Hijikata pressing him for information about the worse events on his homeworld, but he certainly doesn't feel smug or victorious about it. His shin is still throbbing, his gut is still churning a little, but his head hurts worse of all.
What is there to say? "I'm sorry"? "Well, at least not everyone died"? It'd all feel either lacking or cynical. In the end, when the silence has stretched to the point where it feels somehow possible to cycle back to the previous conversation, he offers the only productive thing he can think of saying.]
...
I'll take better care of Jean next time.
[Because Jean is his sworn brother, because Jean matters to many others including Levi, but now also because Jean, too, is a precious survivor from a world that suffered more than any other he knows of.
He should make up with him soon.]