...mm. [ if kaveh thinks about it he's had a few brushes with death while on the quests here. a couple close encounters could have landed him six feet under ground, but he managed to evade knocking on death's door one way or anything. he couldn't do that forever, but... he'd rather not think about it. it's already been hard enough to try to move on. ]

[ he snorts. ] ...alcohol helps because I can disassociate, but [ he looks aside to a notebook. ] I have been trying to draw. It's not really going well though. I'm having a hard time... focusing? I [ he gets up to grab the notebook, passing it to ayato. inside there are a number of normal sketches. some of the house he'd been planning for him and alhaitham. some of a garden. some of alhaitham, himself. and then there are others that look like they had been normal, but they're just scribbled on... almost like he'd suddenly lost control of his hand and begun drawing tens of hundreds of circles suddenly. there are dozens of drawings like that. ]

I'm also trying music. And... I may just try walking or jogging...