eternal sunshine (closed)

[hometown]

WHO: reiner braun & a few others
WHAT: revelations about reiner's mental state
WHEN: around january's event
WHERE: the mecha suit hanger, the paths, odyssey headquarters
WARNINGS: child soldiers, death (canonical), gaslighting, memory manipulation, violence


to save humanity

Comments

for eren

[hometown]

This isn't Reiner's first time on these white sands, an endless starry sky stretched out above him, light branching like an enormous tree in the distance. He knows this place. Knows it in his gut even more than in his head, something in his blood whispering that this is where he comes from. This is where his power lies. This is where he belongs.

Reiner tries not to listen to that siren call. Scans his surroundings, spotting people all over—but only one that makes sense. Only one that has him moving forward on instinct, his hand reaching out, seeking to entwine their fingers before he's even close enough to do so.

He doesn't quite make it that far.



The space within the Wall is cramped. Claustrophobic. Reiner breathes steadily despite it, his muscles tense, listening to the tapping all around him. What the hell are the Survey Corps doing? They couldn't possibly have realized where Reiner is hiding, could they?

Someone taps on his hiding place. Calls out a warning.

Reiner moves. Pulls back the false part of the Wall and slides his blade into them, watching the uniform he used to wear bloom red with blood. The person falls; Reiner crawls out of the wall, ready to transform.

Then Levi drops on top of him like a fucking demon, one blade stabbing through Reiner's neck, the other ramming into his heart

It should kill Reiner.

It doesn't.

Reiner hits the ground, an impact that should incapacitate him at the least. But he's no ordinary human. He hadn't been human since he was ten years old. Lightning courses through his body, power building, ripping through him, making him writhe because it's not flowing the way it should, it hurts, and he's arching his back as his mouth flies open, crying out as pure power rips him apart.

And then the Armored Titan lies where Reiner fell, and Reiner is safe. For now.

(This is where the memory should stop. This is the last thing Reiner experienced all those years ago, before he appeared in Ellipsa.

It doesn't stop.)

Eren appears. The Attack Titan. Reiner rises to meet him. They clash; they struggle; they fight, as they always do, always have. It feels like a fucked up dance—but Reiner is so tired. He's so tired of this place, this mission. He's tired of failing again and again and again. He's tired of not being good enough, strong enough, fast enough. He can't save Annie. He couldn't save Marcel. Zeke is holding a blade over Reiner's proverbial neck. All he has now is Bertholdt.

And Reiner is losing this fight.

It's Eren's friends who make the difference. Reiner's friends, once. He loved them; he still loves them, every one. They appear with their thunderspears, and Reiner is—

Begging. He's begging. He's begging them, begging the world, to wait, to hold on, to just wait—

And then half his head is blown to pieces.

(That should be the end.

It isn't.)

Bertholdt comes for him. Holds his half-headless body close. Speaks to him. Bertholdt delays the Survey Corps while Reiner maneuvers his Titan to protect his shattered body from Bertholdt's explosive transformation.

Then he's fighting again, and they're losing, and Bertholdt is under attack, he's being sliced from the Colossal's nape, he's—

No.

No. No. No.

No, that doesn't h̴̢̘̙͈̱̜̥̖̗̪͚̙͂̐͊̿̄̾͒̕̚͠ả̴̡͍̺͉͕̿͂̌̋͋̀̉̔̀̌p̶̧̫̫̺̳̞̣̾́͂̔̿͑̓̔̎̎͛́̽͗͝͝ṕ̴̨̨͔͈̘͇͈̳̲͖̜̲͈̱̰̥͉̳̅̾̑̐̽̅̿̃̾̈́è̸͚̯͍̽̀̑̈̓͒̚n̸̡̨̰̲̦̟̥͉̰͓̼̩̪͔͔̤̼̆̋̉ͅ.

Bertholdt comes for him again, riding on Pieck's back. The two of them rescue Zeke. They rescue Reiner. They flee.

That's how it happens.

for frieda

[hometown]

Piloting the mecha begins with no issues. Reiner and Frieda slip halfway into one another's minds, balancing the load of piloting. Flowing, as they've been instructed… Until the moment when one of them starts chasing a memory.

Maybe it's Reiner, seeing a small Historia. Or maybe it's Frieda, seeing a young Bertholdt, Annie, or a boy she doesn't recognize. Either way, they slip.

And then they're fully in Reiner's head.

Only it isn't quite Reiner's head. Not entirely. There's another boy there, a face that overlaps Reiner's own as memories stream by.

They're in Paradis. Reiner is speaking with the other Cadets. As he takes on a 'big brother' tone, that boy's face slips onto his own as if stitched there, obscuring Reiner's features entirely.

They're training. Reiner is taking the lead, instructing the other Cadets. There, again, the boy's face slips over his own.

Again, as he chats with fellow Cadets in his downtime, Eren's hero-worshipping face gazing up at him.

Again, as he meets with Bertholdt and Annie in the middle of the night.

Again. Again. Again. Until it's not so much the boy's face covering Reiner's as it is Reiner's face peeking out from beneath the boy's.

for jean

[hometown]

Reiner's hands are shaking when he enters Odyssey's headquarters, though whether that's due to Frostreign's chill or everything else is unclear. He unbundles himself and goes to the fire, holding his shaky hands before it for a long moment before he sets about stoking the flames, bringing them higher. There's comfort in that simple action. Fuel plus fire equals heat. Simple. Easy.

Why can't everything be that easy?

Sighing, Reiner rubs a (still trembling) hand down his face. He needs to catch up on some administrative work for Odyssey—but he's also hoping (and not hoping) to run into Jean. There's no easy way to say "we need to talk," but that's precisely what they need to do.

And Reiner is dreading it with every bone in his body.

[rustyhonesty]

As (bad?) luck would have it, Jean is there. There are plenty of things to write down and stock to check. There's also a list of items he's thinking about purchasing later, once he's done with things here. It's all pretty boring stuff, but it's what he signed up for.

He heard the door open, but takes his time to get over to the front desk, leaving the papers wait in the backroom. He looks around to see who arrived and notices a familiar figure near the fireplace.

"Reiner?"