"I just...didn't want to lose anyone else. But we saw how that ended."

Wanted makes sense. They've done an amazing job of obliterating the bridge between them over the years. But he doesn't blame Macaque for not saying anything back then. He doesn't think it was cowardly.

Maybe throwing it at him while he was entombed had been...but also he started it by being to proud and hotheaded. But he just lets those words hang in the air.