hometown: (almost done)
Reiner Braun ([personal profile] hometown) wrote in [community profile] seasonsrpg 2023-07-27 08:54 pm (UTC)

In the silence before Eren speaks, Reiner continues to watch Eren's profile, turning those inexplicable words over and over in his mind. We're the same. You and me, we're exactly the same. Their meaning continues to elude Reiner, hovering just beyond reach. What presses in instead are those five mysterious years, at least part of which Eren spent in a different world. Reiner holds Eren's hand, and he wonders (again and again and again) what happened to Eren to change him so drastically.

Truthfully, everyone from their world has changed. Historia has changed, the girl Reiner knew as "Krista" fading from sight. Jean and Mikasa have changed, their years spent in other worlds leaving indelible marks. Levi and Hange have changed: Levi physically, Hange in rank, both in knowledge. And Gabi… Gabi was just a kid. She's supposed to be eight years old, not within spitting distance of Reiner's age. She's supposed to be safe in Liberio, not making friends with Scouts.

Yet those changes make sense to Reiner, more or less. There are some he doesn't understand, mainly concerning events and attitudes. (Why is Hange willing to give him a chance? What "important role" does Levi believe Reiner has to play? How the fuck did Gabi start thinking of Levi as her "best friend"?) However, the passage of time accounts for most changes, leaving Reiner feeling uninformed but not bewildered.

Eren is a different story. Next to all the others, Eren sticks out like a sore thumb, the changes in him far too drastic to be blamed on time alone. What the hell happened? What turned the boy who only thought about revenge into the young man holding Reiner's hand, saying that they're the same?

Eren speaks again. The words strike like Zeke's boulders, peeling away armor with each impact. Reiner's fingers twitch again, his hand squeezing, holding Eren's a little tighter.

Shitty choices. No choices at all. Born in cages, the both of them.

Reiner stares at Eren, his throat tight. Thinking of his mother crying as she told him the secret of his paternity, her wish that he'd been born to a Marleyan. Thinking of walls topped with barbed wire, guards with guns they weren't afraid to use. Thinking of the years he spent sweating, bleeding, and fighting for a red armband. Thinking of Marcel, of Annie, of Bertolt. Shiganshina, Wall Maria, the Training Corps, Trost, Marco. Standing atop Wall Rose explaining things to Eren, genuinely believing that Eren might go with them willingly. Waiting atop Wall Maria months later, knowing it was just a matter of time until he would have to kill his friends.

Eren looks over at him, eyes drawing Reiner in as surely as the ocean could swallow him whole. The people on the beach may as well be nonexistent. There is only Eren's face. Only Eren's eyes. Only Eren's hand held tightly in Reiner's. Only their bodies swaying with the waves, moved by a force beyond their control.

Impulsively, Reiner reaches out with his free hand, brushing more hair away from Eren's face. He tucks a stray, wet lock behind Eren's ear, his fingers a little clumsy; it's not something Reiner is used to doing. (So much of this is beyond his experience. What's one more thing?) His fingertips linger on Eren's cheek for a second too long, memories of cupping Eren's face in the dark pushing to the forefront of Reiner's mind.

Then Reiner drops his arm, his other hand loosening its grip on Eren's.

"Will you let me help you swim back?" Reiner asks, expecting a refusal. He offers anyway.

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