[ as soon as he hand touches his back he straightens up, as if adjusting his posture is going to sell her on the fact that he's absolutely definitely totally one hundred percent without a doubt fine. ] ... [ but then he slouches a moment later. he takes a few seconds to consider how to even proceed. should he just come out with it or skirt around it for a couple of minutes. he's not sure and his mind is racing with so many thoughts that not even the alcohol can prevent him from getting a headache. ] ...how did you cope with everything that came after, everything that came after you died...