I... I don't think I'll be able to explain it. I haven't thought about it much. I, I honestly haven't been trying to think about it much, but... I might be here, but I still don't feel... completely here... and maybe that's not so much a physical thing as much as a mental or emotional thing - like I'm still anchored to that place because of how it's weighing on me, but... [ he shakes his head, giving a snort as he trails off. ]