[Jean's taking deep breathes, only interrupted for a moment when Hijikata puts a hand on his shoulder. The rush of energy distracts him for a while, but he continues to focus on his breathing to calm down from both being embarrassed and still angry.

But calming down. He's managed to tell Hijikata what had been on his mind. Even more than that, on accident.]

... I told myself I'm used to it. It wasn't the first time I've seen something like that after all. I tried to play it cool. It worked for a while. But I couldn't just keep pretending it didn't affect me.

[Especially since it had been years since Titan Hell and seeing titans at work first hand. The semi-peaceful worlds had made him forget the horrors.]

Even more so because of how much I care about you as a person.