[ She feels very much alone and discussing it doesn't really help, no matter how kind he's being about it, because no one can make these choices for her. She's the one who has to live with it, whatever the result (although she won't remember if it goes badly, so how much is she living with it really in that case?). ]

This is what I mean when I said that I always hurt people. No matter what I do it's hurting someone. [ It doesn't matter one speck to her that some of the people in that equation are dead. ]

The only thing I want to do is make it better for everyone and I can't. That's why what he said upset me so much, to think that I'm making things worse in any way is the worst possible thing. It doesn't really matter whether I meant to because it's not like I mean for any of this.

Everyone I love, you'd all be in less pain if you never got close to me at all. And that's a horrible thing to know.