{ he isn't sure how to process all this either, and he partly blames the alcohol in his system for caving and talking to her about it to begin with. sadly, the one person he likely would have turned to is the one he can't in this instance, because he didn't want to burden her with this.

he lets her peel the glass away from his hand, holding it with the other before he leans to place it on the table. when it's out of the way he'll give her hand a gentle squeeze, even if hearing those words makes it almost harder to deny.

he doesn't think there's ever been a moment he hasn't been certain of his love for either of them, ayaka and thoma both have been his pillars and reason for fighting as hard as he does. but this is a different form of it that threatens the status quo to either make it soar or come crashing down for all of them.

he'll be sad if he doesn't pursue it, yes, but the alternative if it goes wrong?

that may end him, and he knows it.

but putting that concern into words is harder than he thinks, if only because he already thinks he's said too much. }

I'll-- { and his voice cracks, a sign of how hard this has been for him so far. it's been long enough already. } --bear that in mind. { his thumb trails over the back of her hand, taking comfort from the warmth of it. }

I'm sorry for burdening you with this, Ayaka. I'd hoped that I could come to a conclusion on my own, nor do I have anyone else to talk to.